Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Not quite sure of the meaning here except to say that we have nostalgia for the past because we are sure of it and the future is always uncertain, food for thought here, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. I wanted to capture a sense of a world hollowed out by technology, left with only memories of emotion and energy, and I think the images of New York in the grips of the pandemic last year enabled me to do that. This series will roughly follow the trend of Revelations and this vision of a world going through the eye of a needle into a new world, through Christ. estory

Comment from juliaSjames

Excellent

I could add other details like mental patients let loose on the streets, like my friend's 100 yr old mother escaping from her nursing home without a jacket in winter. But there are positive facets too. For life is nothing if not resilient..

Stay safe healthy and blessed

Julia

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the piece. I wanted to create a sense of a world hollowed out by technology, left with only memories of emotions and energy. This book will roughly follow the trend of Revelation and this portrayal of a world going through the eye of a needle into a new world, through Christ. estory

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words brought me to tears. The poem is sad, heartfelt,
true and creative. Thank you for the author's notes - they say so
much about how things really are. Feelings of emptiness flooded my soul. The poem flows and connects well. Hope you are doing well.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and all your words of support. I am so glad the writing turned out to be so evocative for you. There will be plenty of darkness and pain and loss in the end times, but in the end we will move into the light. estory

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

This captures everything so very
realistically.
I, personally, am still wondering 'what
next?'
Nothing, I hope, and a return to a normalcy...
but...I just have a feeling...
I like the feel of everything being
'on-hold' here...time suspended.
Beautifully told,
blessings...

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments that supported this piece. I am glad the writing was evocative enough to capture this sense of emptiness. estory

reply by Irish Rain on 02-May-2021

Have a great week, you're welcome!!

Comment from Pj Dennison

Excellent

This an excellent free verse philosophical poem. In my mind the images are frozen in time, a muted still-life work of art in grey and brown tones. The only thing moving are the shadows as they shift and fade into darkness. A darkness that cloaks the city like a blanket that is pulled up over the dead.

I am compelled by this eerie desolation I sense in your poem. It is a foreshadowing of what is to come. Perhaps that moment in time when nothing changes, but everything changes in an instant with a cataclysmic event.

Maybe, there is hope as there is life in a room where people watch their television, someone answers a robocall and someone walks a dog. Small movements within the inner workings of the city; organisms of life. Life goes on.

This is what I mainly sensed and felt from your poem. Usually I review on the elements that make up a good poem such as meter and rhythm scheme for example. This time I focused just upon content and imagery. Thank you for sharing your poem.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your quite astute take on this piece. Let me make a few comments to explain what I was trying to do here; I wanted to capture a sense of a world hollowed out by technology, left with only memories of its emotions, its energy, and I think the images of New York in the grips of the pandemic last spring provided the images necessary to achieve that. This piece will roughly follow the pattern of the book of Revelation, a tale of a world going through the eye of a needle into a new world, through Christ. Stylistically, I wanted to use a monotone, punctuationless prose of language to emulate the effect of a data stream, an emotionless stream of data. Images are always very important in my poetry. I try to clip out these images that articulate the epiphanies of life, the experience of it. Yeats and Heaney, Jack Anderson and Denise Levertov have been titanic influences in my poetry. estory

reply by Pj Dennison on 02-May-2021

You are welcome. Thank for the note discussing your poem. I appreciated and enjoyed it very much.

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

Wow, how dismal it sounds for a city that purportedly never sleeps, its constant slumber avoids the fact that this once was a vibrant city that tourists flocked to see, and those who lived here hated the tourists, and all of their inappropriate staring, and taking of photos. Most people are home, watching television, which tries to act like it is real-life, but we all know that is not real, by any means. So this is what it has come to? How sad, that we all have to endure this pandemic, and all of its deaths and vaccines, and misinformation about the death and vaccines.
God help us all!
Thank you for sharing this, and oh, I hear the sound in the background of a robo-call. I'll just ignore it like I always do.
Have a nice night,
Jesse

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for your continued support of this series, and your fantastic review and perspective. Some notes on my construction of this in addition maybe to what I gave I wanted to create a sense of a world hollowed out by technology, left with only memories of its emotions and energy, and I think the images of New York last spring in the throes of the pandemic provided me with the images to do that. The book in general will follow the pattern of Revelations, a tale of a world going through the eye of a needle into a new world, a new world in Christ. I am glad the writing seemed evocative enough to achieve much of what I was setting out to do. We're about 30% through Apocalypse now, so I hope you will continue to enjoy it. estory

reply by Jesse James Doty on 02-May-2021

Yes, I enjoy the thought-provoking ideas generated by your series and will continue to follow them.
Have a good Sunday,
Jesse

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I guess that will be the case, I remember the film "Planet of the apes" with Charlton Heston, with the scene of the Statue of Liberty, half submerged in the earth shocking our hero into realised reality, thst he'd gravelly forward in time to a place where the apes had evolved and human devolved. That's the scene you're painting a beautifully written articulation of. Well done, beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your interesting perspective on the piece. I hadn't really thought of that movie in writing this. What I really wanted to do was create a sense of a world hollowed out by technology, left with only memories of its emotions and energy, and I think the images of New York last spring in the grips of the pandemic provided the images to do that. estory

reply by royowen on 02-May-2021

Well done

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This free verse, Apocalypse Part 6, is a compelling collection of observations which lead to depression as the emptiness and futility of our current existence fails to inspire anything other than 'a compelling collection of observations ...'.

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 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your interesting perspective on the piece. The world will go through pain and loss and suffering on this journey through the eye of its needle, but when it ends in this new world in Christ, it will be in the light again. estory

Comment from Erika Seshadri

Excellent

Chilling. I am haunted by the image of the forgotten gravestones waiting for something to happen. I imagine the museum--empty. Very powerful. Thanks for sharing.



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2021

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reply by the author on 02-May-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your great perspective on the piece. I am glad those images were so evocative and that these scenes worked the emotions up in you. Always great when the writing can do that. estory