On the Promenade
A First and Last poem24 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Well told and a great first and last line that works beautifully Yvonne. Loved the F alliteration, I enjoyed it. Hope you are going along okay, I'm doing well, realising now when I need a bit of ME time. Cheers valda
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Well told and a great first and last line that works beautifully Yvonne. Loved the F alliteration, I enjoyed it. Hope you are going along okay, I'm doing well, realising now when I need a bit of ME time. Cheers valda
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Thank you. You get your much needed ME time. No time like the present to do it. Enjoy!
Comment from AnnieDawn
You have done a top-notch job with this difficult type of poetry for the club this week. I love the subject that you have chosen to write about. Great job.
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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You have done a top-notch job with this difficult type of poetry for the club this week. I love the subject that you have chosen to write about. Great job.
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate your review.
Comment from lyenochka
Such a clever use of the repetition! You repeated that first line but it's like you revealed it in a completely new way by changing the punctuation! Great story told using this complex form. I still am confused about the rhyme scheme of the second stanza but I liked what you did with the storytelling!
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Such a clever use of the repetition! You repeated that first line but it's like you revealed it in a completely new way by changing the punctuation! Great story told using this complex form. I still am confused about the rhyme scheme of the second stanza but I liked what you did with the storytelling!
Comment Written 02-May-2021
reply by the author on 02-May-2021
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Thank you! What a wonderful review you've given me. I'm so happy you liked it.
Comment from judiverse
Beautiful presentation with the lovely artwork. Your lines work great with the flawless, smooth rhyme. Excellent use of the first and last repeating lines. This is a charming story of the youth who notices the young woman with the parasol. She seems to want his attention, in that he sees her again even though his view is blocked by the kite. She appears to be waiting for him. judi
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Beautiful presentation with the lovely artwork. Your lines work great with the flawless, smooth rhyme. Excellent use of the first and last repeating lines. This is a charming story of the youth who notices the young woman with the parasol. She seems to want his attention, in that he sees her again even though his view is blocked by the kite. She appears to be waiting for him. judi
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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I foresee a romance. lol. Thanks, Judi.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Rather than call this sweet, I will call it enchanting and magical. You give the image to your reader not only of the maid and the young man but a stroll through the turn of the century.
The picture enhances your very wonderful rhyming story.
I will give you my last six.
Thank you for the images.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Rather than call this sweet, I will call it enchanting and magical. You give the image to your reader not only of the maid and the young man but a stroll through the turn of the century.
The picture enhances your very wonderful rhyming story.
I will give you my last six.
Thank you for the images.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Thank you so much for this. I appreciate it!
Comment from aryr
This was wonderful and I can see why it is named 'First and last', Yvonne. I loved the picture, it was so appropriate for your words. It was so nice that you included your narrative notes about the format and rhyme pattern. It was absolutely great, if I had sixes left I would have willing given them, alas all I have is five.
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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This was wonderful and I can see why it is named 'First and last', Yvonne. I loved the picture, it was so appropriate for your words. It was so nice that you included your narrative notes about the format and rhyme pattern. It was absolutely great, if I had sixes left I would have willing given them, alas all I have is five.
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Thank you for reviewing. Your liking it is enough for me any time. 8-)
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Aww bless you Yvonne and you are so welcome.
Comment from dragonpoet
Yvonne,
This poem tells of the starting of love and the possible loss of the chance with obstructions. This is a good answer to the potlatch prompt
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Yvonne,
This poem tells of the starting of love and the possible loss of the chance with obstructions. This is a good answer to the potlatch prompt
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing.
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Don't mention it, Yvonne.
Joan
Comment from Mastery
What a lovely story told in this poetry, Yvonne. So many images bring it to life and absolutely loved these last lines:
He looked around to left and right,
and who was sitting in the shade
with open parasol? The maid."
Love it from beginning to end. Bob
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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What a lovely story told in this poetry, Yvonne. So many images bring it to life and absolutely loved these last lines:
He looked around to left and right,
and who was sitting in the shade
with open parasol? The maid."
Love it from beginning to end. Bob
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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I'm so glad. Thank you, dear friend. Hope you are staying well and safe.
Comment from Patty Palmer
A great poem in this different form of poetry from what I've seen so far. I'm constantly learning from all of you on this site. Thank you for sharing.
Patty
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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A great poem in this different form of poetry from what I've seen so far. I'm constantly learning from all of you on this site. Thank you for sharing.
Patty
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Thank you for reviewing. Join us in Potlatch Poetry and get new challenges every week. 8-)
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You're welcome and maybe I will join you guys there one day.
Patty
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A clever and pleasing write, love the form and the metre and you fulfilled the brief here in this joyous and uplifting poem, much enjoyed, fine words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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A clever and pleasing write, love the form and the metre and you fulfilled the brief here in this joyous and uplifting poem, much enjoyed, fine words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Thank you, Dolly. I hope you are staying well and safe.
