Religiously Boxed-In Deception
Do you have a reprobate mind?18 total reviews
Comment from Earl Corp
You might look art double spacing between lines to make it easier for reviewers to read. Very nice job. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
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You might look art double spacing between lines to make it easier for reviewers to read. Very nice job. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-May-2021
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
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Once again, thank you for reading and commenting. I am a talker lol, guess my writing is not to much different. Lengthy, like my conversations lol. Thanks again and have a great rest of the week and weekend!
Comment from Sally Law
Wow, this is a powerful post. Thank you so much for shining light and truth. I'm telling everyone knows that I know to return to the Lord with all that they are. So many have left the faith and substitute a government in government control as their God. Ours is not a God of this world it is our God in heaven the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He left the Bible for us so we would have His word written down as our guide. The Bible is truly prophetic and speaks of these in times we are living right now. The end times are upon us, as spoken of in Daniel, I Corinthians, Thessalonians, Jude, and Revelation. Only those that are paying attention to the word see this! I'm glad to see that you are.
I am a born-again Christian filled with the spirit and a writer here on FanStory. I will fan you now. God bless you and keep you in the days ahead. Sally :)) XOs...
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
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Wow, this is a powerful post. Thank you so much for shining light and truth. I'm telling everyone knows that I know to return to the Lord with all that they are. So many have left the faith and substitute a government in government control as their God. Ours is not a God of this world it is our God in heaven the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He left the Bible for us so we would have His word written down as our guide. The Bible is truly prophetic and speaks of these in times we are living right now. The end times are upon us, as spoken of in Daniel, I Corinthians, Thessalonians, Jude, and Revelation. Only those that are paying attention to the word see this! I'm glad to see that you are.
I am a born-again Christian filled with the spirit and a writer here on FanStory. I will fan you now. God bless you and keep you in the days ahead. Sally :)) XOs...
Comment Written 19-May-2021
reply by the author on 19-May-2021
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Thank you Sally for taking time to read and comment on my poetry. I pray I am always ready in season and out of season to give an account for my faith. We were told that many would fall away from the faith and love would wax cold. I believe, that regardless of this happening, greater is He that is in us then in this world. We can't change the word, but I believe we can be like Nineveh however. I am counting on 1000 more years of grace but I am ok to go home too. I will continue to search matters out, occupy and lift Him up so He may draw them in. I must admit that I do not say I am Christian. I have been walking this walk with Him for 25 plus years. I just did not feel comfortable saying "I am a Christian". I have always said "I am a believer". Usually that opens a door too, which I love, to a question of what do you believe in? Spirit takes over at that point and helps give me what to say. Only in 2016 did I began to seek the deeper hidden things of God. I began to study to show Myself approved, rightly dividing the word. I love the people of God, it was the church system that I could no longer stomach. Funny, when I went to church faithfully, I actually preached one Sunday. Go figure, He gave me a message to give to the church not to the unbeliever. Looking back now, I find it just like Him to have me where I am today. Why do we like what we like? Why do we do what we do? Two very important questions to examine before answering. Everything in our entire journey has lead to such a time as this. I thank God, He did not allow me to continue with scales over my eyes being blinded by the god of this world. I came out from among her, less I drank of her sin. I wanted relationship not system. Thank you again so much and may Blessings come your way!
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is an Interesting and thought-provoking piece.
Although, I have to admit, so many people on both sides of the issues have accused their opponents of being immoral liars, that I had no idea which set of people you were addressing here until you mention BLM. And then at that point, this poem becomes less about Christianity and more about politics and fear, which kind of ruined the whole "god is massive" feel.
BUT, you know, writing is a form of expression, and you are free to write things as you see them, and that's exactly what you did here. So, well done in that respect.
All the best.
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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This is an Interesting and thought-provoking piece.
Although, I have to admit, so many people on both sides of the issues have accused their opponents of being immoral liars, that I had no idea which set of people you were addressing here until you mention BLM. And then at that point, this poem becomes less about Christianity and more about politics and fear, which kind of ruined the whole "god is massive" feel.
BUT, you know, writing is a form of expression, and you are free to write things as you see them, and that's exactly what you did here. So, well done in that respect.
All the best.
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Thank you Erika for your time, priceless and precious, for reading and commenting on my poem. I am a newcomer here at FanStory and find everyone encourages and builds one another up. I am looking forward to enriching my writing and skills. I am of the position with my thoughts and with my studies and research, both Government and the Church System have been and remain deceptive. Knowledge is powerful, yet understanding is the gateway and key. Both parties contribute to killing, stealing and destroying because the means justifies the end. People perish for lack of knowledge and vision! Thank you again and should you be a mom, Happy Mothers Day!
Comment from DentedSyke
I do like your message. We need to wake up and not only see the truth but act on the truth. BLM is a wake-up call for truth and liberty. I think you have some powerful words here, but I was often thrown off balance with the phrasing and some of the forced rhymes. Here is one example:
Foolish conspiracy theorists it is said they plant false reports and lies
Comical how the Creator takes the world's foolish things to profound the wise
"...to profound the wise..." makes me stop and wonder what the author is saying. I lose the cadence of the piece, and I lose the feeling.
At any rate, you are obviously a talented writer. I hope you keep writing and professing your faith. I appreciate people like you.
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reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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I do like your message. We need to wake up and not only see the truth but act on the truth. BLM is a wake-up call for truth and liberty. I think you have some powerful words here, but I was often thrown off balance with the phrasing and some of the forced rhymes. Here is one example:
Foolish conspiracy theorists it is said they plant false reports and lies
Comical how the Creator takes the world's foolish things to profound the wise
"...to profound the wise..." makes me stop and wonder what the author is saying. I lose the cadence of the piece, and I lose the feeling.
At any rate, you are obviously a talented writer. I hope you keep writing and professing your faith. I appreciate people like you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Thank you for taking your time, priceless and precious, to read and comment on my poem. I am new to the site and it has been refreshing. All the encouragement, support and guidance uplifts the heart! FanStory is a great tool to help shine brighter with each stroke of the pen. I enjoy reading other writings that I may not otherwise be given that opportunity. It is a great community to be a part of. Thank you again and have a great day!
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You're a good writer. Keep writing!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Religiously Boxed-In Deception, brings a lot of anger to this sentiment of religious unity and seeing the forest past the trees.
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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This poem, Religiously Boxed-In Deception, brings a lot of anger to this sentiment of religious unity and seeing the forest past the trees.
Comment Written 03-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Bill, thank you for taking the time, precious and priceless, to read and comment on my poem. It is appreciated and I look forward to my growth here on FanStory.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
'reprobate mind' ... Romans 1:18 -- The New International Version (NIV)
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.' An excellent description you have chosen for your poem, and I especially love your title, 'Religiously Boxed-In Deception'.
To call ourselves Christian but then to conform to the ways of the world is not really understanding what a Christian is.
I love how expressive you were in your poem. The rhyming was good, and your message was clear.
Very best wishes!
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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'reprobate mind' ... Romans 1:18 -- The New International Version (NIV)
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.' An excellent description you have chosen for your poem, and I especially love your title, 'Religiously Boxed-In Deception'.
To call ourselves Christian but then to conform to the ways of the world is not really understanding what a Christian is.
I love how expressive you were in your poem. The rhyming was good, and your message was clear.
Very best wishes!
Comment Written 03-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Thank you for taking your time, precious and priceless, to read and comment on my poem. This past year has certainly been an eye opener for many. I thank God for all the revelation and truth (strange as it is) that has allowed for me to dig deeper. The anguish within my soul for where we are at is immense. Whether one is a believer, atheist or agnostic is of no matter to feel the shift taking place. I am praying for a thousand more years of grace and gratitude. I look forward to my growth here on FanStory. There are so many gifted writers with much input and insight, I am thankful for being directed to the site.
Comment from lancellot
I'm unsure what all of this means. I do recognize the end rhymes and that it is trying to convey a spiritual message. I would recommend that you change the category from sarcasm to spiritual fiction. At least that's what I see.
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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I'm unsure what all of this means. I do recognize the end rhymes and that it is trying to convey a spiritual message. I would recommend that you change the category from sarcasm to spiritual fiction. At least that's what I see.
Comment Written 03-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Thank you again for taking time, precious and priceless, to read and comment. When I first released this, I had it a spiritual. Then I had a FanStory member comment that it could be a religious or political satire. I guess it could be considered either? This is one of the many reasons I am pleased to be a member. I look forward to learning more, with such diversity of writers on the site, no doubt will growth be achieved. Have a great week!
Comment from pharp
This is such a powerful read and message. Exceptional rhyming throughout, very smooth flow allowing for a most edifying read. Every word you have penned cries out the truth. Thanks for sharing, and the very best to you in the contest.
Portia
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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This is such a powerful read and message. Exceptional rhyming throughout, very smooth flow allowing for a most edifying read. Every word you have penned cries out the truth. Thanks for sharing, and the very best to you in the contest.
Portia
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Thank you Portia for taking your time, precious and priceless, to read and comment on my poem. It does cry out the truth for many, it is the anguish that drives me for those that don't and possibly never will. We are the voice for the next generation, should 1000 more years of grace be granted and be what the collective desires. We are all one and as such need to operate in that manner. I look forward to learning from such gifted writers on the site. No doubt I will increase my skills as a writer, with a bonus of opportunity to read some of the best writings of all kinds. Have a great week.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is a strong subject with me. You have written well and everything is in balance. For me, I believe in my Lord, but do not go to church, need to be preached at or sermonized. I listen and learn and make my own decisions. A man who must be led by the nose to a belief is a disbeliever no matter what he hears. Only you, me, the I - that is who should think for you - just you.
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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This is a strong subject with me. You have written well and everything is in balance. For me, I believe in my Lord, but do not go to church, need to be preached at or sermonized. I listen and learn and make my own decisions. A man who must be led by the nose to a belief is a disbeliever no matter what he hears. Only you, me, the I - that is who should think for you - just you.
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Thank you Sherry for taking your time, precious and priceless, to read and comment on my poem. As one who was a church goer, I was struggling with that desire leaving me. I couldn't figure out or put my finger on it, I just couldn't stomach the system. As I began to seek out the matter, seek the deeper hidden mysteries, and became exceedingly hungry and thirsty for truth, it became more and more evident and clear. My opinion is that not all truth will be the same for the individual. Whether you are a believer, atheist or agnostic is of no matter, you can feel a shift taking place in our present time. I look forward to my time here on FanStory. It is a great learning and creative tool. Have a great week!
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Be your own guide and find your own truth - then you will be enlightened!
Comment from AnnaLinda
Hi Jennifer,
This is a very powerful poem you have written. A strong wake up call for those still believing the lies. You have a super talent and your skills with expressing your message with rhyme and good flow are evident. I got
chills on this following line as I am one of those 'watchmen' with God's trumpet to my mouth.
"The watchmen have the trumpets held to their mouth"
I also found the following part strong...I have a poem
out now about that...
"The ears that are shut off to truth live in fear and doubt
Stop listening to lies that your itching ears desire to hear
Being deceived by lies and confusion your vision is unclear"
I also really like this line which could use a comma after "head."
"Sleep on sleepy head(,) ignore truth because truth leaves you in dismay"
There are several punctuation errors and grammatical errors in this. If you clear them up I think you will get a lot of exceptional ratings. You could use some extra vommas as well, but I will leave that to others.
"hear *heavens cries" (Heaven's cries)
"Forgetting what you think you know and *been told since your youth"
(have been told)
"times of *Jacobs trouble and war"
( times of Jacob's trouble...)
"under *darkness control"
Not sure what you should do since you need control to rhyme,
but under darkness control is not correct. I guess under darkness' control."
"Keep on sleeping *wore out ones during the last stretch of the race"
(worn out ones)
"*creator takes the *worlds foolish things to profound the wise"
(Creator) (world's)
"remain asleep *most will *do they have digested the wrong pill"
comma after asleep...then "do they have digested..." does not make
sense. How about (remain asleep, most will, they have digested the wrong pill.)
Ok, love your spirit, your message and your talent...If not for those errors I would have waited until tomorrow to offer you an exceptional rating.
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Hi Jennifer,
This is a very powerful poem you have written. A strong wake up call for those still believing the lies. You have a super talent and your skills with expressing your message with rhyme and good flow are evident. I got
chills on this following line as I am one of those 'watchmen' with God's trumpet to my mouth.
"The watchmen have the trumpets held to their mouth"
I also found the following part strong...I have a poem
out now about that...
"The ears that are shut off to truth live in fear and doubt
Stop listening to lies that your itching ears desire to hear
Being deceived by lies and confusion your vision is unclear"
I also really like this line which could use a comma after "head."
"Sleep on sleepy head(,) ignore truth because truth leaves you in dismay"
There are several punctuation errors and grammatical errors in this. If you clear them up I think you will get a lot of exceptional ratings. You could use some extra vommas as well, but I will leave that to others.
"hear *heavens cries" (Heaven's cries)
"Forgetting what you think you know and *been told since your youth"
(have been told)
"times of *Jacobs trouble and war"
( times of Jacob's trouble...)
"under *darkness control"
Not sure what you should do since you need control to rhyme,
but under darkness control is not correct. I guess under darkness' control."
"Keep on sleeping *wore out ones during the last stretch of the race"
(worn out ones)
"*creator takes the *worlds foolish things to profound the wise"
(Creator) (world's)
"remain asleep *most will *do they have digested the wrong pill"
comma after asleep...then "do they have digested..." does not make
sense. How about (remain asleep, most will, they have digested the wrong pill.)
Ok, love your spirit, your message and your talent...If not for those errors I would have waited until tomorrow to offer you an exceptional rating.
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 04-May-2021
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Anna, I can't thank you with words my appreciation for your time to read and comment on my poem. Time is precious and priceless, not to be taken lightly or for granted. I have been seeking a long time for truth but in all my getting, it was understanding that brought freedom. Intuitively, I have known for some time my true calling and purpose, that I am here for such a time. I will not lie and say how great it is (lol), not very popular or likable. Funny, that is the reputation I have had through out my life. Now, not so much and I am ok with that. Usually when us watchmen let warriors know about the enemy, and it causes discomfort and fear, they are not prepared and suited up for the fight. This is a spiritual war not a flesh war. We are all one and should operate as such but it appears most are operating under the wrong commander and chief. The powers that be know if the collective were unified how light will expel the dark! I look forward to my time on FanStory and the marvelous writers! I am sure to increase both knowledge and writing skills. Your guidance and direction for corrections warrants a huge Thanks!
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Thank you for your response. I can relate. I have never fit in...all the more now. Most of the church is deceived...following false prophets and new age, NWO religion and they don't even know it. "Collective" is what they want. The real church is the one with power and it's Jesus and His real sheep the Luciferians gear. Oh well, keep up the good work...it is indeed a spiritual battle. God is able to awaken and empower his people. Right now we just look dumbed down...in my opinion.