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Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "The Pot Roast"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
8 total reviews
Comment from padumachitta
hey there
another good chapter for us to enjoy...and I like the bit about healing burns...it should work...onion is antiseptic as well as garli...an onion is good for bee stings and bits...well done...keep writing
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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hey there
another good chapter for us to enjoy...and I like the bit about healing burns...it should work...onion is antiseptic as well as garli...an onion is good for bee stings and bits...well done...keep writing
Comment Written 30-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad to know it sounds authentic. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Dilettante junior
Nice job with your story. It is a fun read. The description of what drew the character to adopt cooking as a profession was marvellous. It kinds of makes me go grab a bite. Also i found using the name Sage for the medicine person quite interesting. Nice job!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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Nice job with your story. It is a fun read. The description of what drew the character to adopt cooking as a profession was marvellous. It kinds of makes me go grab a bite. Also i found using the name Sage for the medicine person quite interesting. Nice job!
Comment Written 29-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from pome lover
fascinating chapter and also fascinating- a salve of crushed onion, garlic and sage on burns. I don't think I'll try it, but it's good to know. I've read about youngsters being natural healers. It is amazing how they intuitively know things. Bless his heart with his pot roast. Cooked slow and long enough, they're hard to ruin.
interesting chapter.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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fascinating chapter and also fascinating- a salve of crushed onion, garlic and sage on burns. I don't think I'll try it, but it's good to know. I've read about youngsters being natural healers. It is amazing how they intuitively know things. Bless his heart with his pot roast. Cooked slow and long enough, they're hard to ruin.
interesting chapter.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 29-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Liz,
Some things to clean up for the quotes, but I'm going to echo what I gathered from reading this post:
Tommy is telling Liz and Linda about when he was younger... he learned through making mistakes, and luckily... those mistakes were done on people who loved him and didn't discourage him for the mistakes... instead found the humor in it. (the image of poking at hard root veggies in a medium rare delicious meat was good humor) He also tells them of the moment leading up to his sister healing his leg, given he and Squirrel rescued someone from a burning house... only for Tommy to get injured.
I like the occasional paraphrasing between story telling through Tommy, and I believe paraphrasing from Liz and Linda.
I am not sure if it's typos or a systemic glitch, but for dialogue quotes being open... or closed... it seemed hit or miss on if the following rule was being adhered:
"When the speaker is speaking words but the writer needs a paragraph break, the paragraph break happens and there is no closing quote.
"The same speaker is still speaking with no interruption from other speakers or thoughts or actions that are not the speaker still speaking. And someone else has a thought, so the speaker has to signal he's done for a moment."
Other thought happens.
"The speaker begins speaking again."
(It was a little hard for me to tell if the speaker was still speaking... or if the closing quotes were just forgotten. And it might just be a few typos... or, it might be because different people are saying... Add a quote... delete a quote... without pointing out why the qoutes are coming or going. I figured I would mention why I'm suggesting where I'm suggesting to add quotes below:)
"I am embarrassed to tell of it. Everyone laughed though, which helped me to not give up on my practicing on them. I wanted to make them a special pot roast dinner with venison, carrots, onions, and potatoes.
onions, or shriveled-up potatoes or carrots.(")
(End quote because Linda and Liz are interrupting the speaker to tell the reader something)
Linda and Liz {could see}(watched)? Tommy reliving(relive)? the puzzled
(Not sure... this isn't a true suggestion, hence the question marks... )
I would expect they would.(")
Tommy laughed as he imitated his mother's announcement, 'I'm having a little trouble spearing the potatoes & carrots, Honey,(.)?'
(Is the speaker saying "Tommy laughed..." I thought Tommy was the speaker, so something is off here)
She explained to me, 'we need to boil the carrots and potatoes before roasting them'. (Ha, this was funny)
We're pretty sure that's what caused the fire.(")
in our heads. The smoke was coming from across the road.(")
(Tommy? or the driver? Confusion maybe because we are switching to reflection and not something being directly spoken? )He reflected on how it had been a long time since
"Smoke was exploding through the windows(. or and?) they must have, in their drug-induced state, opened them to clear the smoke out of there."
The pain went all through my nervous system.
(Nice tension through here, with building curiosity to what the pain is)
Sweet Squirrel[,] removed his damp bandanna to swat out the flames,(.) (He) helped me, while coughing the whole time, drag the comatose
(suggest these modification, or maybe different ones, as I had trouble reading the sentence)
He reported that incident (and) solidified the adults' belief that Sage was
Liz wondered if that was brewing in Sage's thoughts in the cave when she made her announcement that she felt [was] her calling was to be a medicine person. (extra word needs to be deleted)
I know nothing about you two,(.) (Y)your turn to do some storytelling."
(suggest breaking the comma splice.)
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Hi, Liz,
Some things to clean up for the quotes, but I'm going to echo what I gathered from reading this post:
Tommy is telling Liz and Linda about when he was younger... he learned through making mistakes, and luckily... those mistakes were done on people who loved him and didn't discourage him for the mistakes... instead found the humor in it. (the image of poking at hard root veggies in a medium rare delicious meat was good humor) He also tells them of the moment leading up to his sister healing his leg, given he and Squirrel rescued someone from a burning house... only for Tommy to get injured.
I like the occasional paraphrasing between story telling through Tommy, and I believe paraphrasing from Liz and Linda.
I am not sure if it's typos or a systemic glitch, but for dialogue quotes being open... or closed... it seemed hit or miss on if the following rule was being adhered:
"When the speaker is speaking words but the writer needs a paragraph break, the paragraph break happens and there is no closing quote.
"The same speaker is still speaking with no interruption from other speakers or thoughts or actions that are not the speaker still speaking. And someone else has a thought, so the speaker has to signal he's done for a moment."
Other thought happens.
"The speaker begins speaking again."
(It was a little hard for me to tell if the speaker was still speaking... or if the closing quotes were just forgotten. And it might just be a few typos... or, it might be because different people are saying... Add a quote... delete a quote... without pointing out why the qoutes are coming or going. I figured I would mention why I'm suggesting where I'm suggesting to add quotes below:)
"I am embarrassed to tell of it. Everyone laughed though, which helped me to not give up on my practicing on them. I wanted to make them a special pot roast dinner with venison, carrots, onions, and potatoes.
onions, or shriveled-up potatoes or carrots.(")
(End quote because Linda and Liz are interrupting the speaker to tell the reader something)
Linda and Liz {could see}(watched)? Tommy reliving(relive)? the puzzled
(Not sure... this isn't a true suggestion, hence the question marks... )
I would expect they would.(")
Tommy laughed as he imitated his mother's announcement, 'I'm having a little trouble spearing the potatoes & carrots, Honey,(.)?'
(Is the speaker saying "Tommy laughed..." I thought Tommy was the speaker, so something is off here)
She explained to me, 'we need to boil the carrots and potatoes before roasting them'. (Ha, this was funny)
We're pretty sure that's what caused the fire.(")
in our heads. The smoke was coming from across the road.(")
(Tommy? or the driver? Confusion maybe because we are switching to reflection and not something being directly spoken? )He reflected on how it had been a long time since
"Smoke was exploding through the windows(. or and?) they must have, in their drug-induced state, opened them to clear the smoke out of there."
The pain went all through my nervous system.
(Nice tension through here, with building curiosity to what the pain is)
Sweet Squirrel[,] removed his damp bandanna to swat out the flames,(.) (He) helped me, while coughing the whole time, drag the comatose
(suggest these modification, or maybe different ones, as I had trouble reading the sentence)
He reported that incident (and) solidified the adults' belief that Sage was
Liz wondered if that was brewing in Sage's thoughts in the cave when she made her announcement that she felt [was] her calling was to be a medicine person. (extra word needs to be deleted)
I know nothing about you two,(.) (Y)your turn to do some storytelling."
(suggest breaking the comma splice.)
Comment Written 29-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Thank yo0u for your supportive review. I have given attention to your suggestions. Thank you.
Comment from lyenochka
What a great story about Sage! I guess she has a natural gift for healing. But I wonder if garlic wouldn't hurt burned skin. I would think it might have some antiseptic qualities? Glad that he could share his story of how he decided to become a chef and his sister a healer.
There were a few places where open and closing quotes were missing like:
"Remember I said Squirrel
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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What a great story about Sage! I guess she has a natural gift for healing. But I wonder if garlic wouldn't hurt burned skin. I would think it might have some antiseptic qualities? Glad that he could share his story of how he decided to become a chef and his sister a healer.
There were a few places where open and closing quotes were missing like:
"Remember I said Squirrel
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Mabaker12
This is a great look at native American life, Liz. We don't have Venison here in Australia, but at 6-05 am it sounded and smelt lovely. You're getting the shiny one for the spuds and carrots. Loved that piece! I watched a chapter of a show last night on the telly and it was about a fire in a building and a young fellow pulled two druggies out, that worked well with your chapter for visualisation. Great writing as usual. Love U Anne.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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This is a great look at native American life, Liz. We don't have Venison here in Australia, but at 6-05 am it sounded and smelt lovely. You're getting the shiny one for the spuds and carrots. Loved that piece! I watched a chapter of a show last night on the telly and it was about a fire in a building and a young fellow pulled two druggies out, that worked well with your chapter for visualisation. Great writing as usual. Love U Anne.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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That sure is synchronicity lol
I got the idea because I was cooking for some nuns on their retreat. When the potatoes were rock solid & carrots were almost as hard as out of the garden, they had to break their silence to laugh & talk about it. The funny thing is, I usually cook & got on my bicycle for the 5 mile ride home. But that day, they invited me to stay. I'm so glad it happened that way, otherwise I may never have found out til much later.
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter Liz. I loved the part about the uncooked vegetables, I am sure everyone of us has done that. It was an interesting continuation. I liked the way you included the different things after the chapter, it brought everything together. Well done and enjoyed.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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This was a great continuation chapter Liz. I loved the part about the uncooked vegetables, I am sure everyone of us has done that. It was an interesting continuation. I liked the way you included the different things after the chapter, it brought everything together. Well done and enjoyed.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad it brought some humor to your day. I got the idea because I was cooking for some nun on their retreat. When the potatoes were rock solid & carrots were almost as hard as out of the garden, they had to break their silence to laugh & talk about it. The funny thing is, I usually cook & got on my bicycle for the 5 mile ride home. But that day, they invited me to stay. I'm so glad it happened that way, otherwise I may never have found out til much later.
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That was even a better story Liz, you are so welcome. It's amazing what we do through our lives.
Comment from Leann DS
I like this chapter a lot, with its extensive storytelling details. If I were to modify one thing, it would be to add in nonverbal information among the story Tommy told.
Also, I don't understand why the potatoes and onions were rolling around. You're talking to a person here who has never made a roast in the oven. LOL I always use my crockpot.
Good chapter! Hugs.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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I like this chapter a lot, with its extensive storytelling details. If I were to modify one thing, it would be to add in nonverbal information among the story Tommy told.
Also, I don't understand why the potatoes and onions were rolling around. You're talking to a person here who has never made a roast in the oven. LOL I always use my crockpot.
Good chapter! Hugs.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. I got the idea because I was cooking for some nun on their retreat. When the potatoes were rock solid & carrots were almost as hard as out of the garden, they had to break their silence to laugh & talk about it. The funny thing is, I usually cook & got on my bicycle for the 5 mile ride home. But that day, they invited me to stay. I'm so glad it happened that way, otherwise I may never have found out til much later.
But why were the potatoes hard? Why didn't they cook? I am more clueless than you are giving me credit for. Ha ha
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You have to boil potatoes & carrots & other hard vegetables before you put them in the oven to roast. Meat must take less time to cook than raw potatoes & raw carrots...bwaaaa