Creative Collections
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Judas In Him"na-po-wri-mo contest
8 total reviews
Comment from mobileliz
good poem, good choice of words and rhyme, no tech errors that I noticed, doesn't want him back, admits he used her and she was too blind to see it until it was too late
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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good poem, good choice of words and rhyme, no tech errors that I noticed, doesn't want him back, admits he used her and she was too blind to see it until it was too late
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Dear mobileliz, thank you for your comments and review
Comment from George 1
This piece effectively expresses the frustration and anger that a person feels when two people enter a relationship without clear communication. One person wants real connection and the other is just shopping around for personal gain or fun. Too bad people can't have some uncomfortable conversations at the beginning and prevent unhappiness later
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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This piece effectively expresses the frustration and anger that a person feels when two people enter a relationship without clear communication. One person wants real connection and the other is just shopping around for personal gain or fun. Too bad people can't have some uncomfortable conversations at the beginning and prevent unhappiness later
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Dear George 1, thank you for your comments and review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It sound to me that you are well shut of this guy who betrayed you and you are worthy of so much better, shed no tears and move on. An emotional write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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It sound to me that you are well shut of this guy who betrayed you and you are worthy of so much better, shed no tears and move on. An emotional write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Dear Dolly, thanks for your comments and review.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Really great poem although I would consider tweaking it once more! Well written and it's clunky a couple times throughout which you will find when you read it out loud!
Thanxxx for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Really great poem although I would consider tweaking it once more! Well written and it's clunky a couple times throughout which you will find when you read it out loud!
Thanxxx for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Dear Melodie, Could you tell me a little more about how I can make improvements?
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Just an overall good tweaking will show you the improvements you need to make as I can't point them out individually. Just to make the worded flow better, etc ... The more you edit your own work, the better you get. I don't want to rewrite your piece and that's why you need to give it a good one over!
;-)
Comment from kahpot
Cheating on someone you have professed love to is a betrayal of the worst kind, your choice of artwork ( I see as discarded) very well chosen, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Cheating on someone you have professed love to is a betrayal of the worst kind, your choice of artwork ( I see as discarded) very well chosen, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Dear kahpot, thank you for your comments, review and best wishes.
Comment from equestrik
This is a write that seems to be heartfelt. In the last line of the third stanza, I think you mean 'heart' not 'heard'. It is a good entry for the 'Loves beytrayal ' contest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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This is a write that seems to be heartfelt. In the last line of the third stanza, I think you mean 'heart' not 'heard'. It is a good entry for the 'Loves beytrayal ' contest.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Dear equestrik, thank you for your comments and review. I will go in an edit.
Comment from Boogienights
It's so hurtful when you invest so much time into a relationship, only to be betrayed. Often the injured party blames themselves, when that's the furthest from the truth. Good entry for the contest, best of luck. :)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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It's so hurtful when you invest so much time into a relationship, only to be betrayed. Often the injured party blames themselves, when that's the furthest from the truth. Good entry for the contest, best of luck. :)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Dear Boogienights, thank you for your comments and review, and for wishing me luck.
Comment from roof35
This certainly was a betrayal and you told it well. Hoping you moved on and found someone new. Good luck in the Loves Betrayal Contest. This poem is nicely done.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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This certainly was a betrayal and you told it well. Hoping you moved on and found someone new. Good luck in the Loves Betrayal Contest. This poem is nicely done.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Dear roof35, thank you for your comments and review and good luck wishes.
