Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Genius in Love (Scene 4)"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
Poor Cornelius first but his poor mother. I can't imagine having a child that is so brilliant in one way yet so dang vulnerable in another. I hope that Mr. Hallows is a good guy because I am really touched by the beauty of his character. Well done.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Poor Cornelius first but his poor mother. I can't imagine having a child that is so brilliant in one way yet so dang vulnerable in another. I hope that Mr. Hallows is a good guy because I am really touched by the beauty of his character. Well done.
Gretchen
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Thank you once again for the unnecessary, but appreciated review. I'm happy Mr. Hallows resonates with you. Were I to revise this play more, I would have developed his backstory a bit more.
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I kind of like not knowing his backstop. It's always a gamble to put your faith in a character. Trusting someone you honestly know nothing about is truly relying on your gut. As far as I can see, this needs no revision.
Gretchen
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
You are creating a wonderful story within a story. Cornelius grapples with life at school. But Pidely-Poo introduced him to a special place when he was in kindergarten, a castle in a kingdom, an escape... Ahm. And the rocking ceased.
Ahm... it reminded me of the 1984 comedy, "All Of Me", starring Steve Martin, Lily Tomlin, Victoria Tennant, Richard Libertini, and Jason Bernard. They'd hum, "ahhhmmmm", coaxing the soul of Lili Tomlin's character (Edwina Cutwater) into an urn on the way to being transported into beautiful Terry Hoskins (played by Victoria Tennant).
It was a way that Cornelius could relax, just saying the name.
But now, baby-stepping into puberty, Cornelius has a new playmate... sexy Cililla. She taking over where Pidely-Poo left off. I'm waiting for Pidely-Poo to come back and show Cililla the way to Ahm. Then he can disappear for good. It's amazing that Cornelius somehow knew that Pidely-Poo needed to be replaced. What better way to escape the harsh reality of this world than in a fantasy with a gorgeous and friendly creature who is free with her hugs and kisses?
You do a marvelous job, Jay, in guiding the readers through the play... for example, the lights focusing on Cililla and Cornelius, while the principal and his mother fade into the darkness of the stage. I can easily picture the whole thing. (I've been to a few Theater New Brunswick plays at the Imperial Theater in uptown Saint John.)
As Cornelius takes over the narration of his fantasy, from memory, with no staggering or repetition, I get the idea that he still doesn't trust Cililla to take over from Pidely-Poo. She will have to cuddle him a bit more before he grows to trust her and forget Pidely-Poo.
Actually, now as I think about it, I'm reminded of Peter, Paul & Mary's famous song, "Puff, The Magic Dragon", released in January of 1963.
Pidely-Poo could be another "Puff", and sadly slip away.
"A dragon lives forever but not so little boys.
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more.
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain.
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave.
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave"
***
Cornelius and Pidely-Poo journeyed to the fantasy land of Ahm. Jackie Paper and Puff frolicked in the land of Honahlee.
We are focused on Cornelius's trouble, but if you slipped into the fantasy world of Ahm .... well, I doubt that you'll do that. But I wonder how many others think twice about poor Pidely-Poo. Where is he??? Cornelius hasn't given up on him.
Terrific writing, Jay, as usual. You are one of the very best writers in this place.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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Hi Jay,
You are creating a wonderful story within a story. Cornelius grapples with life at school. But Pidely-Poo introduced him to a special place when he was in kindergarten, a castle in a kingdom, an escape... Ahm. And the rocking ceased.
Ahm... it reminded me of the 1984 comedy, "All Of Me", starring Steve Martin, Lily Tomlin, Victoria Tennant, Richard Libertini, and Jason Bernard. They'd hum, "ahhhmmmm", coaxing the soul of Lili Tomlin's character (Edwina Cutwater) into an urn on the way to being transported into beautiful Terry Hoskins (played by Victoria Tennant).
It was a way that Cornelius could relax, just saying the name.
But now, baby-stepping into puberty, Cornelius has a new playmate... sexy Cililla. She taking over where Pidely-Poo left off. I'm waiting for Pidely-Poo to come back and show Cililla the way to Ahm. Then he can disappear for good. It's amazing that Cornelius somehow knew that Pidely-Poo needed to be replaced. What better way to escape the harsh reality of this world than in a fantasy with a gorgeous and friendly creature who is free with her hugs and kisses?
You do a marvelous job, Jay, in guiding the readers through the play... for example, the lights focusing on Cililla and Cornelius, while the principal and his mother fade into the darkness of the stage. I can easily picture the whole thing. (I've been to a few Theater New Brunswick plays at the Imperial Theater in uptown Saint John.)
As Cornelius takes over the narration of his fantasy, from memory, with no staggering or repetition, I get the idea that he still doesn't trust Cililla to take over from Pidely-Poo. She will have to cuddle him a bit more before he grows to trust her and forget Pidely-Poo.
Actually, now as I think about it, I'm reminded of Peter, Paul & Mary's famous song, "Puff, The Magic Dragon", released in January of 1963.
Pidely-Poo could be another "Puff", and sadly slip away.
"A dragon lives forever but not so little boys.
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more.
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain.
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave.
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave"
***
Cornelius and Pidely-Poo journeyed to the fantasy land of Ahm. Jackie Paper and Puff frolicked in the land of Honahlee.
We are focused on Cornelius's trouble, but if you slipped into the fantasy world of Ahm .... well, I doubt that you'll do that. But I wonder how many others think twice about poor Pidely-Poo. Where is he??? Cornelius hasn't given up on him.
Terrific writing, Jay, as usual. You are one of the very best writers in this place.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 01-May-2021
reply by the author on 01-May-2021
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OMG, Kimbob, Thank you! You have a helluva lot more confidence in me than I have in myself. I could sure use you during the week to ten days it takes me to put a wrap on another scene. And those are three-hour days! I am a pitifully slow writer. It's good though to have someone I admire so to feel there's some value in what I write. Thank you, Sir!
Comment from padumachitta
hey there
okay, six says it, does it not? I am enjoying this...it just feels like my world when I was young...well not quite but, gawdpeople were dense...a
I have been trying to write and essay for medium...a couple actually...and then my time on this site is limited...
thanks for the support...please stay safe.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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hey there
okay, six says it, does it not? I am enjoying this...it just feels like my world when I was young...well not quite but, gawdpeople were dense...a
I have been trying to write and essay for medium...a couple actually...and then my time on this site is limited...
thanks for the support...please stay safe.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for your lovely support, Jodi. And for the six stars! Keep an eye open for my article to post on May 5th, subtitled "The Defluttering of Barry Gibb." If I forget, please remind me to send its link. I think you'll enjoy it. I advise you to take it slow on Medium. You need to build a loyal following there. If your essay gets "curated" by Medium that will pick up some of the slack in lacking loyal readership, but curation can be a tough nut to crack, and they are rigorous in their guidelines. So be patient and keep reading good stuff there.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is my third attempt at writing a review for this scene, Jay. My first review was brilliant, but my wife's laptop likes to skip back in time and erase things. The next review was on my i-Pad which froze and would not allow any touch control.
Here is the review finally:
Intrigue grows as I am wondering where the story is headed.
Your description of Celilla as 'an apparent product of Cornelius's mind' makes me wonder what is imagination and what isn't.
Your directions between speaking parts leans more to how a director speaks to an actor about the character's motivation than what actions the audience will be seeing. Nothing that lapses into thought over action, but noticeable.
Terrific set up which requires my searching for comments other than 'Cool, Man!'
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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This is my third attempt at writing a review for this scene, Jay. My first review was brilliant, but my wife's laptop likes to skip back in time and erase things. The next review was on my i-Pad which froze and would not allow any touch control.
Here is the review finally:
Intrigue grows as I am wondering where the story is headed.
Your description of Celilla as 'an apparent product of Cornelius's mind' makes me wonder what is imagination and what isn't.
Your directions between speaking parts leans more to how a director speaks to an actor about the character's motivation than what actions the audience will be seeing. Nothing that lapses into thought over action, but noticeable.
Terrific set up which requires my searching for comments other than 'Cool, Man!'
Comment Written 29-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Third times a huge charm for me, buddy, with the chartreuse cross for my mantle. If you ever figure out where it's going, let me know. I haven't a clue.
Comment from muffinmama
Hi Jay.
This is a tough one as there is so much going on. All sorts of revelations about the inner world of Cornelius.
The use of language to express Cornelius's reality is brilliant: Howlword, the wicked brother of the King, a step-father in effect. The story has a touch of Hamlet there, very clever.
I'm confused about how Pidely-Poo was able to teach Cornelius about harmony and flow and basically, what amounts to meditation. "Listen inside you, Cornelius ... Sweetie, can you hear your music now? Inside you? Listen." In his imagination, Pidely-Poo was an older brother, but in reality, wasn't he also Cornelius?
Stunning.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Hi Jay.
This is a tough one as there is so much going on. All sorts of revelations about the inner world of Cornelius.
The use of language to express Cornelius's reality is brilliant: Howlword, the wicked brother of the King, a step-father in effect. The story has a touch of Hamlet there, very clever.
I'm confused about how Pidely-Poo was able to teach Cornelius about harmony and flow and basically, what amounts to meditation. "Listen inside you, Cornelius ... Sweetie, can you hear your music now? Inside you? Listen." In his imagination, Pidely-Poo was an older brother, but in reality, wasn't he also Cornelius?
Stunning.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2021
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Hi Ryma. Thanks so much for the six stars. All valid questions you have. You'll know if I've worked myself in a corner by my taking the first stage outa town! LOL, Thanks again.
Comment from lancellot
This is very well written as per your usual great editing. So far I had no clue what your plot was for this. Now, seeing is other, 'normal' voice and side to your MC. I can see the end goal. I am still a bit confused about some things, but if magic is involved, I will consider this fantasy and then anything is plausible.
Good work.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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This is very well written as per your usual great editing. So far I had no clue what your plot was for this. Now, seeing is other, 'normal' voice and side to your MC. I can see the end goal. I am still a bit confused about some things, but if magic is involved, I will consider this fantasy and then anything is plausible.
Good work.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Your review means so much to me, Lance. Thank you for it. I hope I don't have to rely on magic and that it won't lapse into fantasy, though it would be an easy alternative to the wonders of the mind. Please keep me honest in that arena. Again, thank you. Your six was over the top!
Comment from Ritasher
I really enjoyed this read, dear author. The emotions you describe took over me like I was watching a movie (or, of course, theatre) - it just feels realistic. Your main character, Cornelius - makes you empathize and cheer for him along with Cililla. It's the first time I read the script here and I am not disappointed! :)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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I really enjoyed this read, dear author. The emotions you describe took over me like I was watching a movie (or, of course, theatre) - it just feels realistic. Your main character, Cornelius - makes you empathize and cheer for him along with Cililla. It's the first time I read the script here and I am not disappointed! :)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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You know, you couldn't give me a better compliment than that. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy the rest of them.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Script speaks expressively the scene with right direction for movement fitted for dialogues by characters, pointed to the point for progression of thematic order; well said. Well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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This Script speaks expressively the scene with right direction for movement fitted for dialogues by characters, pointed to the point for progression of thematic order; well said. Well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 28-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your kind words, Alcreator.
Comment from RGstar
You are just a complete writer my friend.
When I read such as this it helps me realize I am with good company, and what a pleasure it is to read something good.
Your writer's mind, almost makes this looks easy, but as I have written a many, in earning a living, I applaud you.
Well done Jay.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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You are just a complete writer my friend.
When I read such as this it helps me realize I am with good company, and what a pleasure it is to read something good.
Your writer's mind, almost makes this looks easy, but as I have written a many, in earning a living, I applaud you.
Well done Jay.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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I can't thank you enough for your praise, coming from a person who has been in the trenches with that genre of writing. That means a lot to me. Thank you for the six stars. You've made my evening a little brighter.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Cornelius is living in a world that he has created during his autistic aura. He has obviously come to a transition where his younger illusive friend, Pidley-Poo has been replaced by the older Cililla because he is at the start of puberty. He hasn't quite come to terms with this replacement.
His mother and the principal do not quite understand the turmoil he is experiencing.
Ralf
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Cornelius is living in a world that he has created during his autistic aura. He has obviously come to a transition where his younger illusive friend, Pidley-Poo has been replaced by the older Cililla because he is at the start of puberty. He hasn't quite come to terms with this replacement.
His mother and the principal do not quite understand the turmoil he is experiencing.
Ralf
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much, Ralf. I'm glad you enjoyed it.