second chances
life in the shadows21 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your image plus words pair perfectly, Iza. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. Good job with the style of haiku.
~ May I suggest
A tear cried despair [ a tear slips from eye (5 syls.]
Shadowing the happiness [shadows future happiness (7 syls.)]
Of a second chance [second chances stalled (5 syls.) ]
IMO your haiku reads as one sentence which, uf the judges see it that way, will be DQed. However, I know your work, your choice.]
Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
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Your image plus words pair perfectly, Iza. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. Good job with the style of haiku.
~ May I suggest
A tear cried despair [ a tear slips from eye (5 syls.]
Shadowing the happiness [shadows future happiness (7 syls.)]
Of a second chance [second chances stalled (5 syls.) ]
IMO your haiku reads as one sentence which, uf the judges see it that way, will be DQed. However, I know your work, your choice.]
Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and
presentation, Iza.
-The syllable count is
good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery and
personification of the tear.
-Good connection between
that and having a second chance.
-Good luck in the contest.
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-Very nice image and
presentation, Iza.
-The syllable count is
good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery and
personification of the tear.
-Good connection between
that and having a second chance.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from R.A. Fende
I've definitely felt this before. Shedding tears for what might come but still being in the present is overwhelming. Your descriptions are beautifully crafted.
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I've definitely felt this before. Shedding tears for what might come but still being in the present is overwhelming. Your descriptions are beautifully crafted.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a nicely written haiku. It has a Beautiful overall presentation. A great photo choice to compliment your poem as well. Good luck in the contest.
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This is a nicely written haiku. It has a Beautiful overall presentation. A great photo choice to compliment your poem as well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Judy Lawless
This poem says a lot, Iza. It's so often difficult to see a second chance, perhaps a better story, when disappointment or some emotional pain engulfs us. Nicely expressed.
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This poem says a lot, Iza. It's so often difficult to see a second chance, perhaps a better story, when disappointment or some emotional pain engulfs us. Nicely expressed.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Mastery
Extremely creative Haiku here, my friend. Second Chances is an apt title for this one, Iza. I especially like the satori. You have a most creative mind, my friend: "Of a second chance."
Bless you, Bob
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Extremely creative Haiku here, my friend. Second Chances is an apt title for this one, Iza. I especially like the satori. You have a most creative mind, my friend: "Of a second chance."
Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Begin Again
Where would many of us be if we hadn't received a second chance? God gave us one and then we find new beginnings in our life, and have that fresh start. Well done. Carol
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Where would many of us be if we hadn't received a second chance? God gave us one and then we find new beginnings in our life, and have that fresh start. Well done. Carol
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from royowen
I think love will always forgive and give a second chance. The thought that God was more than happy to give us a second chance, and even cleans us up to be...
as it were. "Perfect" well done, blessings Roy
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I think love will always forgive and give a second chance. The thought that God was more than happy to give us a second chance, and even cleans us up to be...
as it were. "Perfect" well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from T B Botts
I'm not totally sure I understand this poem, not because it wasn't well written, it's just that I don't have a great understanding of poetry. It sounds profound though. What does it mean? Nonetheless, whether or not I understand it, I enjoyed it. Interesting art work too.
Tom
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I'm not totally sure I understand this poem, not because it wasn't well written, it's just that I don't have a great understanding of poetry. It sounds profound though. What does it mean? Nonetheless, whether or not I understand it, I enjoyed it. Interesting art work too.
Tom
Comment Written 22-Apr-2021
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Startling and powerful. Good choice of theme. Unexpected imagery--tear cries despair. Poignant --shadowing happiness. Stunning art work complements the theme.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Startling and powerful. Good choice of theme. Unexpected imagery--tear cries despair. Poignant --shadowing happiness. Stunning art work complements the theme.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
