The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Hunger for Freedom"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
10 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
I see I've jumped into the middle of this story. I am captivated and so I will trail back and catch up by starting at the beginning. The premise is vaguely clear but I'm sure once I start I will find it an interesting story. So, I'll see you later.
Ralf
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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I see I've jumped into the middle of this story. I am captivated and so I will trail back and catch up by starting at the beginning. The premise is vaguely clear but I'm sure once I start I will find it an interesting story. So, I'll see you later.
Ralf
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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Really appreciate you digging back deep into this story with keen interest. That rarely happens, and I'm humbly grateful. Stan.
Comment from Alaskastory
"The Hunger for Freedom" is a chapter that gives relief and hope for Jane. The story moves along smoothly. Good introduction to the wandering confederates.
I do suggest one change:
In "Together they stumbled through the fog." Need to say more before she follows with them, maybe they invited her or maybe pulled her hand toward the path or trail or someone says to get her to the captain.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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"The Hunger for Freedom" is a chapter that gives relief and hope for Jane. The story moves along smoothly. Good introduction to the wandering confederates.
I do suggest one change:
In "Together they stumbled through the fog." Need to say more before she follows with them, maybe they invited her or maybe pulled her hand toward the path or trail or someone says to get her to the captain.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Valid point Marie. Thanks!
Comment from Mastery
Hi Stan. The images in your chapters get better and better, my friend:
Like this one: "A man with gnarled hands, bushy eyebrows, and a crooked jaw loomed over her."
And here: "He stood up and pulled a blanket from his saddle bag. He stepped around firepit and placed it around her shoulders. "Care for supper?"
And very believable dialogue, Stan.
Suggestions if I may: This sentence belongs with the paragraph above it: "He must have been on guard duty tending to the tethered horses."
Brilliant writing, Stosh. Bob
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
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Hi Stan. The images in your chapters get better and better, my friend:
Like this one: "A man with gnarled hands, bushy eyebrows, and a crooked jaw loomed over her."
And here: "He stood up and pulled a blanket from his saddle bag. He stepped around firepit and placed it around her shoulders. "Care for supper?"
And very believable dialogue, Stan.
Suggestions if I may: This sentence belongs with the paragraph above it: "He must have been on guard duty tending to the tethered horses."
Brilliant writing, Stosh. Bob
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2021
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I guess I forgot to thank you for this. Or I may have already. I've been not writing so much lately. But I will return to review you too.
Stan
Comment from royowen
I think that's fine changing from first person narrative to the third person, I must admit I didn't notice, it must have been awhile since your last episode, but this is a fine episode, with poor Jane not sure if these men ate no threat or not, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : He stepped around (the) fire pit..
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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I think that's fine changing from first person narrative to the third person, I must admit I didn't notice, it must have been awhile since your last episode, but this is a fine episode, with poor Jane not sure if these men ate no threat or not, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : He stepped around (the) fire pit..
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thanks Roy!
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Most welcome
Comment from BethShelby
This is an excellent chapter. I'm glad she is be reassured that she has nothing to fear from these men. At least, she has had food and warmth and has been allowed to rest. Well written.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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This is an excellent chapter. I'm glad she is be reassured that she has nothing to fear from these men. At least, she has had food and warmth and has been allowed to rest. Well written.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks again for this belated response.
Comment from Ben Colder
I think either way is sufficient. The story is told in the manner of reality, something you do very well. Detail & reality leaving suspense, otherwise, page turners is the key. You have no problems with this effort.
Well done Bro. I doubt anyone on this site can really appreciate the depth of your write.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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I think either way is sufficient. The story is told in the manner of reality, something you do very well. Detail & reality leaving suspense, otherwise, page turners is the key. You have no problems with this effort.
Well done Bro. I doubt anyone on this site can really appreciate the depth of your write.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks again for this much earlier review.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
You built some tension into the story when Jane was found by the men. Under the circumstances, that could have been just as bad. She seems to go from one bad situation to another in a matter of a day.
It appears for now she is in good company.
Robert
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Hello Stan.
You built some tension into the story when Jane was found by the men. Under the circumstances, that could have been just as bad. She seems to go from one bad situation to another in a matter of a day.
It appears for now she is in good company.
Robert
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much Robert. I appreciate how you sincerity and encouragement.
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You're welcome
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Life moves in circles and sometimes purifies - She can't see that in a desert,
The heat doesn't help the hurt
he's merely a grain of sand
Attached for a ride to a new land
- Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Life moves in circles and sometimes purifies - She can't see that in a desert,
The heat doesn't help the hurt
he's merely a grain of sand
Attached for a ride to a new land
- Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much. I always enjoy the neat way you review with such flare and thought.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have described your setting well. The setting creates the characters, nearly everything about them. The regional dialect draws the reader in. The setting also is greatly responsible for the plot. Nicely orchestrated.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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You have described your setting well. The setting creates the characters, nearly everything about them. The regional dialect draws the reader in. The setting also is greatly responsible for the plot. Nicely orchestrated.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thanks Liz!
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
forestport:
I have found it easier to write first-person accounts than third-person. Having said that, I often find myself going back and forth unintentionally. I was very concerned for Jane's safety when the older soldier found her. I am grateful the Captain seems to be an honorable man.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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forestport:
I have found it easier to write first-person accounts than third-person. Having said that, I often find myself going back and forth unintentionally. I was very concerned for Jane's safety when the older soldier found her. I am grateful the Captain seems to be an honorable man.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thanks for the special input.
