On the Edge of Deception
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "On the Edge of Deception Pg 14"Mystery, Abuse and Crime
19 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
Ooh, this is getting better and better. I've had trouble with the site all day. I finally erased all my history and that seems to have cleared it up. I raced right through this. I only found one issue with the writing. The dialogue was great, the scenes sprang to life, Beth's behaviors seem like natural reactions. Very good!
The kitchen staff had sat out ==> set out
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Ooh, this is getting better and better. I've had trouble with the site all day. I finally erased all my history and that seems to have cleared it up. I raced right through this. I only found one issue with the writing. The dialogue was great, the scenes sprang to life, Beth's behaviors seem like natural reactions. Very good!
The kitchen staff had sat out ==> set out
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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I just was talking to Karenina and she said her computer was acting up too. I fixed things, hit save and then it spins.... and I have to go back and do it all over. Didn't even save two reviews I did. Something's crazy. glad you are enjoying it! Smiles - Carol
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It finally occurred to me that I might be reloading bad code, so I went and erased my browser history and now it's working. I was so frustrated because I had something in preview mode for a short-lived contest.
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i wouldn't have the slightest idea unless I accidentally stumbled across it. My son says it's Hughes Internet in the far country - but I don't know. Smiles - Carol
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That would be your provider. Your browser is the Internet program. If you have a PC it's probably Explorer, but I don't know where to send you to clear the history. It's in Settings on my iPad.
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I use Firefox if that means anything. Matt's filming tonight and I have to feed them so it will have to wait. Thanks - Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Grabbed and held me--powerful opener--chilling nightmare--meticulous imagery throughout and believable dialog. Please let Bert catch up to Beth ASAP!
Febreeze=>Frebreze (I know because I also spelled it wrong in my story!)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Grabbed and held me--powerful opener--chilling nightmare--meticulous imagery throughout and believable dialog. Please let Bert catch up to Beth ASAP!
Febreeze=>Frebreze (I know because I also spelled it wrong in my story!)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Actually I have the can and we are both wrong lol Febreze and they don't even capitalize it...Crazy! thanks for the review. I appreciate it very much. Smiles - Carol
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funny (note lowercase f-unny)!
Comment from karenina
Oh boy, I'm hanging on every word. What IS Beth in trouble for? She presents as such a victim--I viewed her stowing away of soap and food as a normal instinct for one who may be homeless and desperate-- You've got me wondering all sorts of things! What trouble would Beth be in that Bert would want to hide her whereabouts from the Chief? I know the writing is good when I become totally invested in the plot! Come on now! I need the next installment! (smile)--Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Oh boy, I'm hanging on every word. What IS Beth in trouble for? She presents as such a victim--I viewed her stowing away of soap and food as a normal instinct for one who may be homeless and desperate-- You've got me wondering all sorts of things! What trouble would Beth be in that Bert would want to hide her whereabouts from the Chief? I know the writing is good when I become totally invested in the plot! Come on now! I need the next installment! (smile)--Karenina
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Karenina - I take it you didn't start from the beginning of the story, right? You don't have to go back and read everything, but Page 1 and 2 I believe will be worth reading so you have the back story on Beth. otherwise, if you want I can just fill you in...Smiles, Carol
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OH DARN! My laptop as in for repair...I THOUGHT I'd gone back and caught up, but I admit I had some 120 reviews to do... I'm so sorry I must have missed chunks of your story...(and I guess many others!)--I'm heading back NOW to read Page 1 and 2! (I'm STILL behind--so if I can figure out how and if it's possible, I'll "bookshelf" the whole thing!--Karenina
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another amazing, suspenseful chapter, Carol. Of course I was hoping Bert would get there in time. Well done.
One little thing, "The kitchen staff had sat out baskets" it should be set rather than sat.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Another amazing, suspenseful chapter, Carol. Of course I was hoping Bert would get there in time. Well done.
One little thing, "The kitchen staff had sat out baskets" it should be set rather than sat.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and "setting" back on track. LOL I appreciate your kindness and of course the fact that you keep following and enjoying the story. Smiles - Carol
Comment from BethShelby
So she skipped out. I guess I understand why she wouldn't feel safe there because she knows her picture is on TV and the police are looking for her. I'm glad you has at least to eat. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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So she skipped out. I guess I understand why she wouldn't feel safe there because she knows her picture is on TV and the police are looking for her. I'm glad you has at least to eat. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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I won't starve her to death, Beth...I promise! Things are going to get rough, but we shall hope for the best. thanks again - Smiles - Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, no. Beth would have had a friend who wanted to help her. I got Bert confused with a man! Lol. I'd forgotten she was one of the women wanting to help her. Now they have to go looking for her again. What about the clothes her best friend was supposed to leave for Beth, did she pick them up? Another wonderful part, Carol, the fear is palpable, and the hunger she feels. It's a sad story. I'm hoping for a happy ending to this. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Oh, no. Beth would have had a friend who wanted to help her. I got Bert confused with a man! Lol. I'd forgotten she was one of the women wanting to help her. Now they have to go looking for her again. What about the clothes her best friend was supposed to leave for Beth, did she pick them up? Another wonderful part, Carol, the fear is palpable, and the hunger she feels. It's a sad story. I'm hoping for a happy ending to this. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Now she is off running again and Ethan has to learn about Ty in the ICU...hopefully it won't distract from searching for Beth. Woe is me! she does have a fighter in Bert for sure....Thanks for the review and of course the kind comments. Smiles - Carol
Comment from Leann DS
Well written with lots of great imagery and detail. Relevant and realistic dialogue carries the plot along as well as giving definition to the characters. This was an easy and fun read for me. Well done. Blessings to you.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Well written with lots of great imagery and detail. Relevant and realistic dialogue carries the plot along as well as giving definition to the characters. This was an easy and fun read for me. Well done. Blessings to you.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Appreciate your interest and your very kind comments. Smiles - Carol
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Too bad Bert didn't get there in time. I am sure she will not give up. Meanwhile, we keep our fingers crossed that Beth doesn't fall into the hands of the law. They just don't have it right.
Ralf
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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Too bad Bert didn't get there in time. I am sure she will not give up. Meanwhile, we keep our fingers crossed that Beth doesn't fall into the hands of the law. They just don't have it right.
Ralf
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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We always seem to be one step behind... I'm hoping the law doesn't catch up with her and now Ty's lying in a hospital and Ethan doesn't know...will that distract him from searching for Beth?? Thanks Ralf for the kind review. Smiles - Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is another great installment. You have done a realistic job describing the shelter experience. I worked in the shelter system in NYC for a time. No need for improvement. Keep it coming.
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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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This is another great installment. You have done a realistic job describing the shelter experience. I worked in the shelter system in NYC for a time. No need for improvement. Keep it coming.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thank you- thank you - thank you! Never been to one so I hoped I could get it right. Your input sent me a bit of relief. Thanks again as always. Smiles - Carol
