Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Traveling Back"Musings of an old man -2021
38 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Elegant and lyrical; notwithstanding which I think it would read more smoothly if cast as prose rather than free verse. Lovely imagery!
From [gram and pops=>Gram and Pop's] homestead.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Elegant and lyrical; notwithstanding which I think it would read more smoothly if cast as prose rather than free verse. Lovely imagery!
From [gram and pops=>Gram and Pop's] homestead.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thanks
Comment from RGstar
JLR, this is a six star ...I just don't have. You gave us a commentary, yet, better still, you gave us a poem, beautiful aura.
The soul was there. This is what we must look for in anything we write, especially poems.
The imagery and emotions rubbed shoulders and took us on that journey as if we ourselves were filming with a super 8 camera.
Well done.
I just loved reading this.
I could have read more.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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JLR, this is a six star ...I just don't have. You gave us a commentary, yet, better still, you gave us a poem, beautiful aura.
The soul was there. This is what we must look for in anything we write, especially poems.
The imagery and emotions rubbed shoulders and took us on that journey as if we ourselves were filming with a super 8 camera.
Well done.
I just loved reading this.
I could have read more.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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RG a thank you now it is polished up with the good incites of reviewers such as yourself. I am grateful, 🙏
Comment from royowen
I must admit I loved listening to the tales of the old folks adventures in the years long before I was conceived, they were another world, another real,, another time, now I've joined the old timers, as we will all do in time. Beautifully written free verse Jim, I can remember the handpump petrol and kerosine bowsers to. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : And pops (with) start spinning. Would?
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I must admit I loved listening to the tales of the old folks adventures in the years long before I was conceived, they were another world, another real,, another time, now I've joined the old timers, as we will all do in time. Beautifully written free verse Jim, I can remember the handpump petrol and kerosine bowsers to. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : And pops (with) start spinning. Would?
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Hello and thank you Roy.
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Bless you
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved the: 'flat as a pancake roadway' as most of the roads in the US are flat! unlike England where the roads are winding and the terrain hilly. Your memories here are keen and your free write authentic and true, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I loved the: 'flat as a pancake roadway' as most of the roads in the US are flat! unlike England where the roads are winding and the terrain hilly. Your memories here are keen and your free write authentic and true, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you 🙏
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I love the freedom that free verse can give to tell a wonderful and nostalgic tale of childhood memories. This is an exception write in detail and description of the countryside and memories with grandpop.
I found the last line creative and beautifully said.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I love the freedom that free verse can give to tell a wonderful and nostalgic tale of childhood memories. This is an exception write in detail and description of the countryside and memories with grandpop.
I found the last line creative and beautifully said.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Mary, thank you🙏
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Traveling Back
by JLR
Excellent free verse about thoughts of going back to your past.
I can relate, going back is never the way we imagine. Also, places and things are smaller. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Traveling Back
by JLR
Excellent free verse about thoughts of going back to your past.
I can relate, going back is never the way we imagine. Also, places and things are smaller. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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hello and thank you for your review🙏
Comment from Jill McCauslin
Such a lovely poem about nostalgia and remembering our loved ones. I really like this. There are a couple of typo type errors but I think others have mentioned them. You've used some great metaphors. I think these lines are fantastic: When we re-fueled in the rural metropolis
of Dakota City, leaving the grand
Mississippi with her steep banks awash
in summertime flora viewed in our rearview mirror,
Excellent poem!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Such a lovely poem about nostalgia and remembering our loved ones. I really like this. There are a couple of typo type errors but I think others have mentioned them. You've used some great metaphors. I think these lines are fantastic: When we re-fueled in the rural metropolis
of Dakota City, leaving the grand
Mississippi with her steep banks awash
in summertime flora viewed in our rearview mirror,
Excellent poem!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Jill, thank you I have polished this up thanks to reviewers such as yourself, 🙏🎶🎶
Comment from nomi338
I can think of nothing better than to spend quality time with a grand dad that takes delight in teaching a grand child about the good old days. Fathers are usually not far enough removed to have the necessary kind of memories that turn into good stories for a grand child's attention. I am endeavoring to be that kind of grandad.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I can think of nothing better than to spend quality time with a grand dad that takes delight in teaching a grand child about the good old days. Fathers are usually not far enough removed to have the necessary kind of memories that turn into good stories for a grand child's attention. I am endeavoring to be that kind of grandad.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Nomi, yes I too have this same hope for our lives yours and mine are recorded in written words that I hope are shared with many of our generations to come.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Memories are one of the most precious things one can own. One word, a song, or even just a smell can allow you to remember a moment, a day, or an entire block of time. Memories are one thing that can never be taken from you. They belong to you. I love the poem and the picture enhances it.
Patty
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Memories are one of the most precious things one can own. One word, a song, or even just a smell can allow you to remember a moment, a day, or an entire block of time. Memories are one thing that can never be taken from you. They belong to you. I love the poem and the picture enhances it.
Patty
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Patty, thank you🙏🎶
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a lovely poem about your childhood memories and your poppa. Your imagery is excellent. I can feel the gentle breeze and smell the sweetgrass, and diesel fuel. Happy memories that fade at times. Well done.
I wonder about this bit: "the sheriff's police cruiser and pops with start spinning" - the with doesn't seem right. should it be "will", or maybe not be there at all?
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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This is a lovely poem about your childhood memories and your poppa. Your imagery is excellent. I can feel the gentle breeze and smell the sweetgrass, and diesel fuel. Happy memories that fade at times. Well done.
I wonder about this bit: "the sheriff's police cruiser and pops with start spinning" - the with doesn't seem right. should it be "will", or maybe not be there at all?
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Hi Judy, I have polished this up a bit with the advise and comments , such as yourself for which I am very grateful.
