Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Traveling Back"Musings of an old man -2021
38 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
You brought out well the power and charm of visiting one's homestead. Memories come back in floods and the trip down memory lane could be very exciting.
Great creative imagery and visuals, I loved the choice of an artwork.
Thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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You brought out well the power and charm of visiting one's homestead. Memories come back in floods and the trip down memory lane could be very exciting.
Great creative imagery and visuals, I loved the choice of an artwork.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I am profoundly grateful for your review and comments 🙏
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear jlr! I love the message the poem conveys. Wow, bravo and a standing ovation!
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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This is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear jlr! I love the message the poem conveys. Wow, bravo and a standing ovation!
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Rebekka, I am so very grateful for your wonderful validation of this free verse.🙏
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My pleasure entirely dear jlr <3
Comment from estory
The details in the descriptions of the landscape in this piece place us in this scene, almost overhearing this conversation between you and your grandfather, watching it unfold as if we were there. We get that uplifting feeling when you see these familiar landmarks of the Mississippi and the gas station where these memories took place. Then you have the sunset fade out and the memory disappears like the day it happened. I think the free verse format is great for this, you had a very personal, natural voice and it made something we could lean to and listen in on. estory
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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The details in the descriptions of the landscape in this piece place us in this scene, almost overhearing this conversation between you and your grandfather, watching it unfold as if we were there. We get that uplifting feeling when you see these familiar landmarks of the Mississippi and the gas station where these memories took place. Then you have the sunset fade out and the memory disappears like the day it happened. I think the free verse format is great for this, you had a very personal, natural voice and it made something we could lean to and listen in on. estory
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you so very, very much! 🙏❣
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, Yes looking back on good memories is always precious, and that's exactly what you're doing in this beautifully written poem. It is a joy to read, and I want to thank you for sharing this. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Hi Jay, Yes looking back on good memories is always precious, and that's exactly what you're doing in this beautifully written poem. It is a joy to read, and I want to thank you for sharing this. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Ulla, thank you very much for this review and for your comments, be well!
Comment from Anne Johnston
I enjoyed your poem as you let your memories take you back to times in your childhood, and the old homestead. Very well written. Great descriptions, especially of the gas station. Love the way you closed it:
"Then just like the setting sun ... the memories just fade into the sunset of time."
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I enjoyed your poem as you let your memories take you back to times in your childhood, and the old homestead. Very well written. Great descriptions, especially of the gas station. Love the way you closed it:
"Then just like the setting sun ... the memories just fade into the sunset of time."
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Anne, thank you for taking the time to read and review this piece.
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You are very welcome
Comment from Sally Law
I enjoyed your memories, dear Jay. I'm positively sick for a six! This may be my favorite of your writing. Simple things seems to be slipping away these days. Thanks for the encore. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I enjoyed your memories, dear Jay. I'm positively sick for a six! This may be my favorite of your writing. Simple things seems to be slipping away these days. Thanks for the encore. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Sal, I love your virtual six and your comment is so welcoming... Be well!
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
There is something about nostalgia that can be very fascinating and interesting. In personal life, memories of yesteryear warm our hearts with good ones and we should try to eliminate or minimize the bad experiences and relationships. I enjoyed your well written free verse poem. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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There is something about nostalgia that can be very fascinating and interesting. In personal life, memories of yesteryear warm our hearts with good ones and we should try to eliminate or minimize the bad experiences and relationships. I enjoyed your well written free verse poem. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you, I have been away from writing for some months and felt this bubbling forth in on my heart.
Comment from Aussie
You brought your memories to life for the reader from a distant country. The good 'ol days must have been wonderful. I was born as the war finished. We were lucky to have bread and jam. Memories, sights and smells of the land brings back time. Excellent.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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You brought your memories to life for the reader from a distant country. The good 'ol days must have been wonderful. I was born as the war finished. We were lucky to have bread and jam. Memories, sights and smells of the land brings back time. Excellent.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Aussie, thank you so much. I have not been writing much these days. I felt the free verse bubbling up and I am grateful for your kind review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your free verse. Your lines flow smoothly with great imagery. I could see everything you mentioned. I like the idea of returning and recalling those memories. thanks for sharing.
~May I suggest ~
When we re-fueled (refueled) in the rural metropolis
of Dakota City, leaving the grand
Mississippi with her steep banks awash
in summertime flora(,) viewed in our rearview mirror,
I knew we were just few hours away
From gram(Gram) and pops(Pop'a) homestead.
It wasn't long when I start looking
ahead on,(no comma) the flat as a pancake-roadway,
for that little diesel - pump gas station
where grandpop(Grandpop) used to take to(delete this 'to') me on
the John Deere after he tilled until the sun
was nearly halfway down in the western sky.
We would grab an ice-cold cola and sit alongside
the sheriff's police cruiser and pops(Pops would) with start spinning
a long tale about when the sheriff was a young-man
like me.
Then just like the setting sun ... the memories just fade into the sunset of time.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I enjoyed reading and reviewing your free verse. Your lines flow smoothly with great imagery. I could see everything you mentioned. I like the idea of returning and recalling those memories. thanks for sharing.
~May I suggest ~
When we re-fueled (refueled) in the rural metropolis
of Dakota City, leaving the grand
Mississippi with her steep banks awash
in summertime flora(,) viewed in our rearview mirror,
I knew we were just few hours away
From gram(Gram) and pops(Pop'a) homestead.
It wasn't long when I start looking
ahead on,(no comma) the flat as a pancake-roadway,
for that little diesel - pump gas station
where grandpop(Grandpop) used to take to(delete this 'to') me on
the John Deere after he tilled until the sun
was nearly halfway down in the western sky.
We would grab an ice-cold cola and sit alongside
the sheriff's police cruiser and pops(Pops would) with start spinning
a long tale about when the sheriff was a young-man
like me.
Then just like the setting sun ... the memories just fade into the sunset of time.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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hello Jan, thank you as always...
Comment from lyenochka
Hi Jim! Welcome back! Seems like you've been a way a long time. Hope everything has been going well.
Enjoyed your nostalgic free verse poem invoking all the senses especially of smells, sights, taste (cola), and the sound of Pops' stories.
Suggestions:
From gram and pops homestead. (pops') feels like a possessive here
pops with start spinning (pops would)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Hi Jim! Welcome back! Seems like you've been a way a long time. Hope everything has been going well.
Enjoyed your nostalgic free verse poem invoking all the senses especially of smells, sights, taste (cola), and the sound of Pops' stories.
Suggestions:
From gram and pops homestead. (pops') feels like a possessive here
pops with start spinning (pops would)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you 🙏
