You Are Not Forgotten
A memory of my friends.9 total reviews
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I like the picture and the wordings on it... The poem has some emotional sentences like: "I was ashamed of my own people.
I saw my brothers cry, I cried with them, But I was ashamed that I died..." and..."We died, for you, so you could sleep
In the comfort of your bed..."
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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I like the picture and the wordings on it... The poem has some emotional sentences like: "I was ashamed of my own people.
I saw my brothers cry, I cried with them, But I was ashamed that I died..." and..."We died, for you, so you could sleep
In the comfort of your bed..."
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thank you Goodadvicechan. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We owe our lives to our brave soldiers who protect and serve their country. It is a pity that some of them suffer from racial slurs. A fine tribute here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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We owe our lives to our brave soldiers who protect and serve their country. It is a pity that some of them suffer from racial slurs. A fine tribute here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Dolly. Things have changed some for the better.
Comment from aryr
Wow, those are rather powerful words, Jose. They provide the thoughts, the wishes and the desires of those who definitely gave it all and did so willingly. I am not sure if this was a contest but good luck my friend.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Wow, those are rather powerful words, Jose. They provide the thoughts, the wishes and the desires of those who definitely gave it all and did so willingly. I am not sure if this was a contest but good luck my friend.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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It's a contest, Alie, not blind. Thank you.
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most welcome Jose.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an extremely profound tale of courage and death set against the background of non-appreciation. This has often been the soldiers' lot, which is undeserved and impossible for me to understand.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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This is an extremely profound tale of courage and death set against the background of non-appreciation. This has often been the soldiers' lot, which is undeserved and impossible for me to understand.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Katherine. :) A soldier I will always be, but even I don't understand why war has to be.
Comment from lyenochka
Powerful poem, Jose! This works well for all our veterans and even now our police force who are not given their due honor for all that they suffered for their country. Hope you do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Powerful poem, Jose! This works well for all our veterans and even now our police force who are not given their due honor for all that they suffered for their country. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Helen. I just wanted to salute those that suffer for doing what's right.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is expertly written Jose. It is very moving and draws emotion from the reader.. at least it did me! Your free verse form is well written and constructed with the linear form and choppy lines that make statements with their brevity. Very well done, my friend.
Melissa
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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This is expertly written Jose. It is very moving and draws emotion from the reader.. at least it did me! Your free verse form is well written and constructed with the linear form and choppy lines that make statements with their brevity. Very well done, my friend.
Melissa
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Melissa. :) I hope I get more than one vote, for I see stars in my eyes.
Comment from Sally Law
I'm sorry I did not have a six for you today, dear poet. First, know that I do not feel this way at all and I appreciate your service. I love all veterans and saw a small portion of the Vietnam war through the eyes of my brother, Steve. He was a Green Beret and came back with an South Vietnamese wife and a child. He died from agent orange exposure as I shared in one of my stories, and met an early grave. I can't believe people treat soldiers like this.
The threat on the other side was so clear. They were a brutal foe, the Vietcong. The media and Hollywood stars are doing today what they did back then: They paint the picture they want you to see. It's disgusting and I'm so sick of it. But I guess as in all things the propaganda wins sometimes and the evil advances.
May you be Lord bless and care for, dear poet. Thank you again for your service. Salute!!
Sal ð??´
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I'm sorry I did not have a six for you today, dear poet. First, know that I do not feel this way at all and I appreciate your service. I love all veterans and saw a small portion of the Vietnam war through the eyes of my brother, Steve. He was a Green Beret and came back with an South Vietnamese wife and a child. He died from agent orange exposure as I shared in one of my stories, and met an early grave. I can't believe people treat soldiers like this.
The threat on the other side was so clear. They were a brutal foe, the Vietcong. The media and Hollywood stars are doing today what they did back then: They paint the picture they want you to see. It's disgusting and I'm so sick of it. But I guess as in all things the propaganda wins sometimes and the evil advances.
May you be Lord bless and care for, dear poet. Thank you again for your service. Salute!!
Sal ð??´
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Though I was there, my part was insignificant. Your brother was the true hero as well as friends of mine. Thank you, Sally
Comment from Charlie Davis
Could see the resolution of the poem at the very beginning. You did a lot to convey your experience at the first 10 lines or so but then you switch to a generalized you to we, to the audience. Basically a poetic reimaginaning of the "All Gave Some, Some Gave All" phrase and bumper sticker.
If this is a biographical free verse, why don't I see more of your feelings from your experience as a soldier. Are you referring to the Vietnam War or the Iraqi Freedom wars?
What did you specifically experience on the battlefield that we don't know? How can a soldier relate to this?
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Could see the resolution of the poem at the very beginning. You did a lot to convey your experience at the first 10 lines or so but then you switch to a generalized you to we, to the audience. Basically a poetic reimaginaning of the "All Gave Some, Some Gave All" phrase and bumper sticker.
If this is a biographical free verse, why don't I see more of your feelings from your experience as a soldier. Are you referring to the Vietnam War or the Iraqi Freedom wars?
What did you specifically experience on the battlefield that we don't know? How can a soldier relate to this?
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Charlie, thank you for reading my poem. I know that it is hard to understand the feelings of a dead person, but it?s a free-verse poem. Many have died in every war, some are forgotten, some are still alive, but many want to forget. Mine was Vietnam, but I wrote it for all the soldiers of history. True soldiers understand and those are whom I salute.
Comment from Susan Newell
There aren't enough superlatives for me to critique the content of this poem, spoken from the point of view of one who gave his life. There was something very unique about the Vietnam "conflict" in that it seemed to have no real purpose and wasn't supported by the people. Afghanistan may be similar, but certainly not the same. I think you had to be a young person then to really understand.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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There aren't enough superlatives for me to critique the content of this poem, spoken from the point of view of one who gave his life. There was something very unique about the Vietnam "conflict" in that it seemed to have no real purpose and wasn't supported by the people. Afghanistan may be similar, but certainly not the same. I think you had to be a young person then to really understand.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Susan. Vietnam was used to test new weapons of war, and the rich got richer as the soldiers died. Thank you for the stars, my friends that didn't come back thank you as well.
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You are so welcome.
