The Far Barn
a hundred-word story7 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
This was certainly an unpredictable story, with a great description of the barn. I was surprised when Maggie called the POV character "Dip," but was more surprised at the twist in the end. Cousins. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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This was certainly an unpredictable story, with a great description of the barn. I was surprised when Maggie called the POV character "Dip," but was more surprised at the twist in the end. Cousins. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thank you, LJ, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Mia Twysted
I love the work of cleo85.
One forthright girl there. I love the little twist on the end revealing that they are related to each other. It gives the story a whole other level.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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I love the work of cleo85.
One forthright girl there. I love the little twist on the end revealing that they are related to each other. It gives the story a whole other level.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Mia
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very funny all the trouble for a kiss miss:) in a very rustic décor "There were dozens of hay bales still stacked, as well as the straw blanketing the upper-level floor. " Thank you fr sharing and good luck with your writings nd the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Very funny all the trouble for a kiss miss:) in a very rustic décor "There were dozens of hay bales still stacked, as well as the straw blanketing the upper-level floor. " Thank you fr sharing and good luck with your writings nd the contest.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Thanks, Iza
Comment from bhogg
Well, I had some cute and pretty cool cousins, but never had one with this type of behavior. So it goes! I enjoyed your post, tells a story in just a few words. Good luck in your contest!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Well, I had some cute and pretty cool cousins, but never had one with this type of behavior. So it goes! I enjoyed your post, tells a story in just a few words. Good luck in your contest!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, bhogg
Comment from L. Kalere
Those are a couple of interesting characters, especially the female cousin who seems to be in charge. I particularly like the ending because I like surprises, and this was definitely a twist. Best of luck in the contest.
Linda
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Those are a couple of interesting characters, especially the female cousin who seems to be in charge. I particularly like the ending because I like surprises, and this was definitely a twist. Best of luck in the contest.
Linda
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Linda.
Comment from royowen
This is just a little bit saucy, but the doofus himself would be grateful fo a cousin that was decidedly a little "loose". I never had any cousins like this. Well done, certainly a surprise, good luck. Blessings Roy.
Suggestion. "Now drop your trousers..."
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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This is just a little bit saucy, but the doofus himself would be grateful fo a cousin that was decidedly a little "loose". I never had any cousins like this. Well done, certainly a surprise, good luck. Blessings Roy.
Suggestion. "Now drop your trousers..."
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Roy, for the helpful suggestions.
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Most welcome
Comment from RodG
This story is a bit bawdy, but amusing. I like how you set the scene as the two cousins climb into the barn's loft among the hay bales. Good use of dialog to characterize Maggie.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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This story is a bit bawdy, but amusing. I like how you set the scene as the two cousins climb into the barn's loft among the hay bales. Good use of dialog to characterize Maggie.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I?m putting a sex warning on this, Rod. I think it may be a overreaction, but I don?t want readers put off.
