Ketchum, 1961
5-7-5 Poem10 total reviews
Comment from Debra White
Hello :)
I enjoyed reading your 3 line poem.
I like the juxtaposition of the blank pages and empty fields. Strong imagery here.
Good luck in the contest. Best wishes, Debra
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Hello :)
I enjoyed reading your 3 line poem.
I like the juxtaposition of the blank pages and empty fields. Strong imagery here.
Good luck in the contest. Best wishes, Debra
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you Debra!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your contest entry. Your syllable count is correct per line. I like the image. Your words flow well and are descriptive. The word 'Quiet" in the name of the typewriter and blank and empty foreshadow what his mind couldn't write after years of writing excellence. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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You did a good job with your contest entry. Your syllable count is correct per line. I like the image. Your words flow well and are descriptive. The word 'Quiet" in the name of the typewriter and blank and empty foreshadow what his mind couldn't write after years of writing excellence. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you Jan!
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Chris, what a poignant epitaph you have written for a once great writer. Hemingway like many other writers that I could name, like Poe, were their own worst enemies. Their indulgence in unhealthy substances, Finally killed them all.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Dear Chris, what a poignant epitaph you have written for a once great writer. Hemingway like many other writers that I could name, like Poe, were their own worst enemies. Their indulgence in unhealthy substances, Finally killed them all.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks Suzanna.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Ketchum, 1961
by C2
Wonderful imagery and presentation. The syllables count is off. Good connection between lines. I didn't know that about hemingway...so sad. I had writers block for two years due to depression. He wrote "For Whom the Bell Tolls" set in Spain during our civil war.
Blank pa/ges be/side5
his Ro/yal Quiet De/luxe--7
the fields out/side, emp/ty6 (you have too many syllables)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Ketchum, 1961
by C2
Wonderful imagery and presentation. The syllables count is off. Good connection between lines. I didn't know that about hemingway...so sad. I had writers block for two years due to depression. He wrote "For Whom the Bell Tolls" set in Spain during our civil war.
Blank pa/ges be/side5
his Ro/yal Quiet De/luxe--7
the fields out/side, emp/ty6 (you have too many syllables)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you GRB! Iforgot to cut the ?the? in the last line. Fixed now!
Comment from Mastery
Good use of the three lines in this poem. I love the assn. with the old typewriter too. I think everyone knows who Hemingway is. Your knowledge of his work is exceptional. congrats. Bob
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Good use of the three lines in this poem. I love the assn. with the old typewriter too. I think everyone knows who Hemingway is. Your knowledge of his work is exceptional. congrats. Bob
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks Bob.
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:) Bob
Comment from RodG
I know this 3-liner is a tribute to Hemingway who was as fallow as those fields the last few months of his life. But it is also a striking metaphor for any writer who suffers from writer's block. Rod
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I know this 3-liner is a tribute to Hemingway who was as fallow as those fields the last few months of his life. But it is also a striking metaphor for any writer who suffers from writer's block. Rod
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Such a frustrating experience that only doing it can fix. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Pantygynt
One of these days someone will see one of these and as what it is. We will know then that the laptop has really arrived. As for this three liner - it is really another name for a 5-7-5 and this doesn't qualify as it is a 5-7-6.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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One of these days someone will see one of these and as what it is. We will know then that the laptop has really arrived. As for this three liner - it is really another name for a 5-7-5 and this doesn't qualify as it is a 5-7-6.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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In a rush to meet the deadline I forgot to cut ?the? in the final line. Fixed now. Thanks for the catch.
Comment from Susan Newell
Hi Chris,
Nice to see you back. Your poem is so sad. How awful it must be to find yourself without words to think our write. I can't help but think that the outside fields only seem empty to one whose inside fields have been mown down by hard living and alcoholism. This almost qualifies as a "horror" poem, because it is hard to imagine anything much worse than an expanse of white, or black, nothingness. Great job.
Sue
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Hi Chris,
Nice to see you back. Your poem is so sad. How awful it must be to find yourself without words to think our write. I can't help but think that the outside fields only seem empty to one whose inside fields have been mown down by hard living and alcoholism. This almost qualifies as a "horror" poem, because it is hard to imagine anything much worse than an expanse of white, or black, nothingness. Great job.
Sue
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks Susan!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Dementia is very cruel and steals our soul and it is sad when it happens to such a brilliant mind. The emptiness is a profound word within your 3 liner here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Dementia is very cruel and steals our soul and it is sad when it happens to such a brilliant mind. The emptiness is a profound word within your 3 liner here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks Dolly!
Comment from George 1
"Ketchum -1961" does a lot of work in nineteen syllables, with the help of your notes. I have not seen the documentary yet, but I expect a lot from it too. I love "The Sun Also Rises" and "A Clean Well-Lighted Place". They expanded my concept of what writing could be. Nice work!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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"Ketchum -1961" does a lot of work in nineteen syllables, with the help of your notes. I have not seen the documentary yet, but I expect a lot from it too. I love "The Sun Also Rises" and "A Clean Well-Lighted Place". They expanded my concept of what writing could be. Nice work!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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When he was at his best there may have been none better. Unfortunately, he couldn?t sustain it. Thanatos overwhelmed him.
