Fifty Days of Friendship
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Cousins"A first person story about various friends.
18 total reviews
Comment from Ginnygray
It has been a while, Bill, but I wanted to say that this chapter on "cousins" struck a chord of empathy in that I was the oldest cousin in our family. I babysat for my three cousins and the family was much smaller than the one you describe. I always felt that being the oldest, I had to set them a good example to follow.
Reading your experience here was eye opening and captivating because of the size of the families, but also your vivid descriptions of them!
Your conclusion in the last paragraph, I felt, was a little harsh on yourself in that you were growing and understanding yourself along with your cousins. You weren't mature enough when all of these feelings were happening, but I can understand your wish as a grown man looking back over the years, how you would wish that the maturation process would have provided more understanding of family relationships.
This was a very interesting write on growing up in a large family and your childhood memories of the community's reactions to your Uncle's family as well as your own personal reflections of the sixties. I enjoyed reading your youthful account.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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It has been a while, Bill, but I wanted to say that this chapter on "cousins" struck a chord of empathy in that I was the oldest cousin in our family. I babysat for my three cousins and the family was much smaller than the one you describe. I always felt that being the oldest, I had to set them a good example to follow.
Reading your experience here was eye opening and captivating because of the size of the families, but also your vivid descriptions of them!
Your conclusion in the last paragraph, I felt, was a little harsh on yourself in that you were growing and understanding yourself along with your cousins. You weren't mature enough when all of these feelings were happening, but I can understand your wish as a grown man looking back over the years, how you would wish that the maturation process would have provided more understanding of family relationships.
This was a very interesting write on growing up in a large family and your childhood memories of the community's reactions to your Uncle's family as well as your own personal reflections of the sixties. I enjoyed reading your youthful account.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Ginny, for taking a look at this chapter of my Friends book. It still wears on me that I was a part of the problem rather than a helper. I think my mother?s reason for pursuing a special education degree was to better serve our own extended family.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Bill,
"Questionable cousins." LOL I enjoyed reading a little of your childhood history here. "They were all a bit on the odd side, which was made clear to me by the many influencers that a kid is surrounded by growing up."
And you are related...right? lol You are cracking me up. Bravo for your mom being so strong and now you wish you were a better cousin? Friend? and Person? Are you sure?
AnnaLinda
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Bill,
"Questionable cousins." LOL I enjoyed reading a little of your childhood history here. "They were all a bit on the odd side, which was made clear to me by the many influencers that a kid is surrounded by growing up."
And you are related...right? lol You are cracking me up. Bravo for your mom being so strong and now you wish you were a better cousin? Friend? and Person? Are you sure?
AnnaLinda
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Thank you, AnnaLinda.
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Sure thing!
Comment from RGstar
Bravo Bill. I always like reading your work because I know it will be something real, knowledgeable or entertaining...adverse to my sad tales at times.
I enjoyed see the making of a real life, always interesting.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Bravo Bill. I always like reading your work because I know it will be something real, knowledgeable or entertaining...adverse to my sad tales at times.
I enjoyed see the making of a real life, always interesting.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Thank you, RG, for the kind and encouraging review. Bill
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Thank you, RG, for the kind and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from blondie560
We don't get to choose our families and you were only told as an impressionable child that something wasn't normal about your cousins. And being a child of the 60s biases were greater. Kids were separated in school by smart, average, or slow. The Special Ed kids were kept away from the general student body. It wasn't until we became parents and advancement in science that we really started to understand ADHD or dyslexia. Not that it stopped bullies, but there are more kids that will stand up to the bully in support of the other kid. Looking forward to more. Sally
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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We don't get to choose our families and you were only told as an impressionable child that something wasn't normal about your cousins. And being a child of the 60s biases were greater. Kids were separated in school by smart, average, or slow. The Special Ed kids were kept away from the general student body. It wasn't until we became parents and advancement in science that we really started to understand ADHD or dyslexia. Not that it stopped bullies, but there are more kids that will stand up to the bully in support of the other kid. Looking forward to more. Sally
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Sally, for the great review. Bill
Comment from BethShelby
I think we all have regrets as we grow older that we conformed so quickly to the others around. After we mature we are better able to put ourselves in the shoes of the kids who were bullied or mistreated by others and we're ashamed to admit that it was easier to go along with the crowd.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I think we all have regrets as we grow older that we conformed so quickly to the others around. After we mature we are better able to put ourselves in the shoes of the kids who were bullied or mistreated by others and we're ashamed to admit that it was easier to go along with the crowd.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Beth, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Mary Vigasin
We all wish we had been better friends and now with adult eyes, we can reexamine our behavior with friends and relatives. Unfortunately, we cannot go back but we can go forward. Family dynamics are complicated.
Your story was well written and keeps your reader's interest as you laid out your story. I enjoyed it.
But I have to tell you as I read this I identified with my own cousins. Unfortunately, we were not kept from them, they were argumentive, noisy, and sometimes very very dishonest.
Thank you for the read.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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We all wish we had been better friends and now with adult eyes, we can reexamine our behavior with friends and relatives. Unfortunately, we cannot go back but we can go forward. Family dynamics are complicated.
Your story was well written and keeps your reader's interest as you laid out your story. I enjoyed it.
But I have to tell you as I read this I identified with my own cousins. Unfortunately, we were not kept from them, they were argumentive, noisy, and sometimes very very dishonest.
Thank you for the read.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Mary, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
I think we all have those people we wished, when we were younger, we had been more humane to. Especially when they are relatives. I really enjoy this memoir feel you inject in this story, Jim. I was wondering, in the sentence, "my father made it clear that he didn't want to associate with either my uncle or his family," did you intend to have a "me" after "want"? It makes perfect sense without it, but has more relevance with it. Keep these chapters coming.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I think we all have those people we wished, when we were younger, we had been more humane to. Especially when they are relatives. I really enjoy this memoir feel you inject in this story, Jim. I was wondering, in the sentence, "my father made it clear that he didn't want to associate with either my uncle or his family," did you intend to have a "me" after "want"? It makes perfect sense without it, but has more relevance with it. Keep these chapters coming.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Jay, for the excellent review. The inclusion of that personal pronoun would be too direct, as the negative attitude on my father?s part was to be inferred. Bill
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, you know what 'they' say about hindsight--it's 2020. You did a good job recounting this (I know-fiction). It sounds like someone thinking back over the years and wishing things had been different. However, that was the way 'family; operated at the time and society.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Well, you know what 'they' say about hindsight--it's 2020. You did a good job recounting this (I know-fiction). It sounds like someone thinking back over the years and wishing things had been different. However, that was the way 'family; operated at the time and society.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Jan. I will change this to nonfiction.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This presentation is very interesting to me since it mirrors my interactions with some cousins. Your descriptions are well done and the relationship sounds familiar. Sort of friends, but not really. Also, words spoken about them were never too complimentary. It's the way it happens with some families. I'm enjoying your memories.
Ralf
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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This presentation is very interesting to me since it mirrors my interactions with some cousins. Your descriptions are well done and the relationship sounds familiar. Sort of friends, but not really. Also, words spoken about them were never too complimentary. It's the way it happens with some families. I'm enjoying your memories.
Ralf
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Ralf, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, your memories of friends has turned into a confessional. We all have regrets of things we wished we could have done instead of caving to the "pressures of association" and "sense of conformity." I am sure that your cousins were blessed with having had time with you.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Ah, your memories of friends has turned into a confessional. We all have regrets of things we wished we could have done instead of caving to the "pressures of association" and "sense of conformity." I am sure that your cousins were blessed with having had time with you.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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I do not enjoy delving into my shortcomings. I will need to conjure up Pons and Ned and ride out a few ridiculous scenes.
