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Betrayal

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Betrayal Chapter 29"
In the title.

38 total reviews 
Comment from DSchlosser
Excellent
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Don't do it, Grant! Work related romances never work out. Haha!

The Rapier character sounds more like a vigilante than a hit man. I look forward to see how he is in the next chapters and who that Shadow character is too.

No errors that I could find in this chapter

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    You'll learn more about Rapier later, he's not a nice man!! Shadow, on the other hand, is a charmer when you get to know him. Thank you for reading this part, you're getting through them now. :)) Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi Sandra,

things are moving along nicely here. the two relationships mirroring each other - it better end in disaster!

You may need t be careful here with the changes in perspective. Having the direct thoughts of both parties so close together in the same chapter isn't usually the done thing. need to be careful with head-hopping. Most folk who use this method, do so by keeping them to different chapters. Just something to watch out for.

So, Grant pulls away from the encounter - must be gay.... lol

All the best
Gg

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks again, Gareth. I will keep that in mind. No, Grant is definitely not gay!! LOL. I'm saying no more though! lol. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from DeboraDyess
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And the thought plickens! lol

I think Grant would be more concerned about Tania's broken rib when putting his arm around her. The arm is casted. The rib isn't and is much more in the path of being touched too hard.
The cricket thing was funny - was she surprised or do you not have crickets in England?
~ she thought her jellied legs would liquefy and collapse beneath her. >> Nicely described! Been there ...
HOORAY! Now, if they both just figure out that this IS what they want!
Blessings! One more and I think I'm caught up!
D

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2021
    I'd forgotten that! Lol. I'm so pleased you are reading this. I'll change that sentence to being careful of her broken rib. Phew!
    We have crickets but you never see them in towns, only in grass meadows, and even then you rarely see them. And they wouldn't land on you because ours don't fly, they only hop.
    Thanks again, my wonderful, amazing friend!! More hugs winging their way over the pond. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by DeboraDyess on 26-Apr-2021
    Well, of COURSE British crickets wouldn't land on you! They'd never be so presumptuous! lol. We actually have 'cricket season' in Brownwood. They pile up in the trees and the bushes actually pulsate with their movements. IT'S GROSS! When we first moved from Austin to Bwood, I was so horrified I almost moved back! ol. Now it's still gross but I guess we can get used to anything. And it doesn't last long, although the fact that it happens at all is too long. (That made no grammatical sense, but you know what I mean!)
    Here's to non-flying crickets!
    D
Comment from Cindy Warren
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It's a good idea, finding out what Colin and his crazy mother are cooking up. The sooner they, and the nut with the sword they've taken up with, are off the street, the better. And I doubt Tania and Grant will be able to resist each other for long.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
    Thank you so much, Cindy. Yes, Grant and his mates have a lot to sort out, and at the same time keep their budding romances going! Lol. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
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Hello Sandra.

Wellllllll Now. We have some blushingly familiar romance moving in. I'll be darned... or will I. HAHAHA

I don't write, nor do I read romance novels and explicit situations, but I must say this is well done. There is the interaction but it is done naturally, not like it is being forced into the story line. It is done subtly which keeps it within the context of the story. Nicely done.

The fact that mother has hired an extra villain is an interesting twist.Now we have to pay attention on both fronts.

Robert

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
    Now, own up, Robert, this is what you've been waiting for!!! Lol.
    I am with you on one important point, I don't write explicit scenes, that's definitely not my style. I like it to be romantic, the other way is vulgar and takes the romance away. :)) It was really nice to get a mans thoughts on that, though. Thank you so much, Robert. I really did appreciate this review of yours, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 15-Apr-2021
    Your writing of the romantic scene is understated yet very good. I do not read anything on here that has warnings for sexual content or profanity. It's not how I write and it's not how I read. Your description is just a progression of the story and not written to titillate the reader. That's why I like the way it was written.

    Robert
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
    Thank you, Robert, that means a lot to me as I feel the same way.
    I've added the Cube 16 to my author's notes and your name. I will also be putting them in the acknowledgements when I publish the book. I just wanted you to know because I'm so pleased with your wonderful form and feel you should be recognised for it. :))
Comment from dmt1967
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Jeff (was keeping) his voice low. He didn't want to worry Monica any more than she was now. (kept)

Taking advantage of the dark, she tilted her head back a little--enough to look up at his face, only to see (he was looking) down at her. (him look)

Their eyes locked, neither appeared capable of turning away. Tania's heart (was pounding) as her face flushed with scorching heat. (pounded)

By changing one word and deleting another the sentence changes from a passive telling tone into an active showing and dramatic one.

Thank you for sharing and stay safe.



 Comment Written 14-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
    Thank you, Jackie, for this lovely review, and those wonderful suggestions. I'll be using them. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from l.raven
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OH NO, get back here quick draw....first I have to get a cool shower...it's been a long time sense I've had a good tongue lashing....oh those were the days...

we need to find out what Colin and Cruella are doing...
what they think Rapier is here for...Tania...and Monica are in danger...neither will be safe until Colin is totally out of the picture... I think Grant knows that...

so where do we go from here my amazing friend???...lets get these guys...and get on to more pressing matters...
truly one of your best chapters sweet girl...the story
totally holds your readers attention you...soooooooo very well written Sandra...I love the story told...NEXT!!!!...
sending my love from me to you...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
    Hi Linda ... Cruella!!! LOL, that would be an apt name for her, a shame that name's been taken! And I love the 'tongue lashing!' lol.
    Thank you, my dear friend, for this lovely review, all the stars and all the funny comments. I really needed a giggle.

    Sending you loads of love, and hugs, my wonderful friend. I hope you are doing well? :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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You are very creative in writing. You should publish and market this story.
There is something about suspense; you never want to put a book down until you have finished reading the story! Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
    What a lovely thing to say, thank you so much, Rosemary. I will be publishing it as it seems to have gone down well with you all on here. For you to have read all these parts like this, surely means the story can't be bad. Thank you so much, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from muffinmama
Excellent
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Aha! Finally they manage to get together and the fool messes it up! Men are such dolts sometimes.
I like the pace of this chapter. Several ends are tied up and to-do items are finalized, but another issue arises as Grant now needs to figure out why Jeff is concealing something from him.

Eager for the next chapter.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
    Thank you so much, Ryma, for another of your lovely reviews. Lol, I love your reaction to Grant's pulling back. Yes, he is, wait until you read Tania's response. :)) Have a lovely day, my friend. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from alexisleech
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Bravo! I did enjoy that little bit of passion, and you wrote it beautifully. It only happened to me once, but I remember that jelly legged reaction to a kiss, and knew at that point, I had met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Another fantastic chapter, that again has me waiting anxiously for more!

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
    You must have really fallen in love to have felt that jelly legged reaction, Alexis. It's a lovely feeling, isn't it. I'm so glad you enjoyed this part. More on the way. Thank you for those shiny stars, they look so pretty over my chapter!! More hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx