Apocalypse
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Apocalypse pt. 5"A poetic expression of the end times
13 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Apocalypse pt. 5
by estory
Interesting poem about selfishness and lack of faith.
Your poem flows well. The structure makes sense. It draws on emotions. it presents strong images.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Apocalypse pt. 5
by estory
Interesting poem about selfishness and lack of faith.
Your poem flows well. The structure makes sense. It draws on emotions. it presents strong images.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your words of support for this piece. Part of what I am trying to do with this is show that the Apocalypse is not some abstract dream of the future, but something we are living through here and now. So I am trying to describe the seperation from God in modern terms. estory
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You said it right in this poem, the entitlement and me- culture and especially the pseudo-image of skills that don't exist. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your wrotings.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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You said it right in this poem, the entitlement and me- culture and especially the pseudo-image of skills that don't exist. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your wrotings.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your continuing support for my work. estory
Comment from HarryT
I believe this write does capture the lives of some people, however, I don't believe that people are as bad as you portray them in this poem. Yes maybe some are, but I reject the universality that is implies. I reject the idea that we have made our own gods. There is nothing wrong with seeking a comfortable and happy life. Granted selfishness has no place. Kindness should be our mentor. But I must reject the entire premise of this poem which to me says there is little goodness and the world is dominated by selfishness and evil. I know plenty of good people who are not selfish narcissists and who care about the well-being of others.
For these reasons I can only assign four stars, because many people have not declared themselves gods.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I believe this write does capture the lives of some people, however, I don't believe that people are as bad as you portray them in this poem. Yes maybe some are, but I reject the universality that is implies. I reject the idea that we have made our own gods. There is nothing wrong with seeking a comfortable and happy life. Granted selfishness has no place. Kindness should be our mentor. But I must reject the entire premise of this poem which to me says there is little goodness and the world is dominated by selfishness and evil. I know plenty of good people who are not selfish narcissists and who care about the well-being of others.
For these reasons I can only assign four stars, because many people have not declared themselves gods.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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What I am trying to do in this poem in part is to demonstrate the degree to which we have forsaken God and turned to science and technology and government as a replacement. I also want to show how the apocalypse is not some abstract dream of the distant future, but something we are living through here and now, so I am trying to describe it in modern terms. I don't know if this chapter is the best of the series; probably it isn't. But a good part of the underlying philosophy that modern man has rejected is that man is by nature sinful and unclean and we are saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. estory
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I guess we must agree to disagree. While I believe God is important, I also believe scientific discoveries are also important for man to progress. So I find no reason to reject either God or science.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
You are right about the "me" generation. Selfies, Self-publishing, Self-employed, Self-aggrandizing on social networks are all phenomenon of our time. I love it. It is why I emigrated here. Individualists are not encouraged or allowed in China. It is like dreams coming true after coming here in the US.
We are very different. You are a Christian so you like your community. I like the following lines:
We answer to no-one
like a man sailing out over the cascading edge of earth
into an eternity of bliss
I have visited Yosemite and Niagra Falls. Yosemite is much more interesting then Niagra Falls.
Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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You are right about the "me" generation. Selfies, Self-publishing, Self-employed, Self-aggrandizing on social networks are all phenomenon of our time. I love it. It is why I emigrated here. Individualists are not encouraged or allowed in China. It is like dreams coming true after coming here in the US.
We are very different. You are a Christian so you like your community. I like the following lines:
We answer to no-one
like a man sailing out over the cascading edge of earth
into an eternity of bliss
I have visited Yosemite and Niagra Falls. Yosemite is much more interesting then Niagra Falls.
Well done.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting comments inspired by the piece. You point out these cultural and societal differences between East and West, between socialism and capitalism, and this is certainly a theme for a whole other book that would be important to write. Part of what I am trying to do here is show that the apocalypse is not some distant surreal dream but something we are living through here and now, so I am trying to use modern images and language to describe it. estory
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I like the following advice: "meditating away the pain, the fear, the anger the sadness as if it didn't matter in our own little corner of the world..."
It is always good to let the sad past be the past and only keep the good memories.
Thanks for sharing with us.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I like the following advice: "meditating away the pain, the fear, the anger the sadness as if it didn't matter in our own little corner of the world..."
It is always good to let the sad past be the past and only keep the good memories.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review and your words of support for this piece. I was trying to describe in modern terms how far we have separated from God and what that result has created in our society. estory
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, this is perfectly said and eerily correct as you lambaste the "me" generation of which we are apart. Extremely well written, and making excellent examples, of what we do, and how we do it, to satisfy ourselves, and our God-like self-image. Your poem is so complete that it didn't need the afterward thoughts exhibited in the author's notes. Yet they made good points too. As I read the poem I wondered to myself how you would end it, because oftentimes writers run out of steam toward the finish line. But, yours was poignant and right on! I want to bookcase this one for future reference, and to show it off, to my friend, tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your philosophy with us. It is deeply committed to the truth as you and I know it.
Jesse
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Wow, this is perfectly said and eerily correct as you lambaste the "me" generation of which we are apart. Extremely well written, and making excellent examples, of what we do, and how we do it, to satisfy ourselves, and our God-like self-image. Your poem is so complete that it didn't need the afterward thoughts exhibited in the author's notes. Yet they made good points too. As I read the poem I wondered to myself how you would end it, because oftentimes writers run out of steam toward the finish line. But, yours was poignant and right on! I want to bookcase this one for future reference, and to show it off, to my friend, tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your philosophy with us. It is deeply committed to the truth as you and I know it.
Jesse
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks again for the exceptional review and your wonderful words of support for this piece. These are some hard parts of this series; I don't know if this was the best of the lot. Probably not. Eventually it will move back into the light if you stick with it. estory
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It is always a pleasure to read and ponder your work. It is so deep and thoughtful, and I love reading it so much I like to share it with my friend, David.
Enjoy the continuance of your week, my friend,
Jesse
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It's always great to hear that something I wrote was so inspiring for someone. I hope you continue to enjoy the series. The other one I am doing, Memories of this World, is a little more upbeat. estory
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As long as time permits and my eyesight holds up, I will read everything you write. You are a gifted writer with great insight, and I want to support your writing in every way I can.
Jesse
Comment from Irish Rain
This is true.
So many of us are guilty of this,
and so convinced that we're on the
right path. We even create the path.
And of course, this is what happened
to all the civilizations that have fallen.
As ultimately, we must too.
Wonderfully expressed!
Blessings...
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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This is true.
So many of us are guilty of this,
and so convinced that we're on the
right path. We even create the path.
And of course, this is what happened
to all the civilizations that have fallen.
As ultimately, we must too.
Wonderfully expressed!
Blessings...
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks again for the six star review and your wonderful words of support for this series. estory
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You're most welcome!!
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
I can see where you are coming from with this POV. There are so many of us existing without a thought to where we came from or where we might be going in the 'Hereafter.' But then there are many who do know and care about God and follow His Ten Commandments, religiously. I think there are more who do not dismiss Him, than of those that do dismiss Him.
Your writing certainly points out how the 'me' people exist.
Ralf
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I can see where you are coming from with this POV. There are so many of us existing without a thought to where we came from or where we might be going in the 'Hereafter.' But then there are many who do know and care about God and follow His Ten Commandments, religiously. I think there are more who do not dismiss Him, than of those that do dismiss Him.
Your writing certainly points out how the 'me' people exist.
Ralf
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting comments about the piece. Part of what I am trying to do here is state that we are by nature sinful and unclean and that everything we do is corrupted unless it is saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Soon all things that are not rooted in him will be burnt up and swept away. estory
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
E story,
This is a poem of awakenings to anyone who is his:her own god. I find in my life, when I trust and depend on the God, things go better. I have found that my life is terrible when I don't put my trust in Him. Yours are powerful words that stir the conscience.
Excellent writing. Good luck with your series.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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E story,
This is a poem of awakenings to anyone who is his:her own god. I find in my life, when I trust and depend on the God, things go better. I have found that my life is terrible when I don't put my trust in Him. Yours are powerful words that stir the conscience.
Excellent writing. Good luck with your series.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the piece. I think its a powerful witness for exactly what I am trying to say here; that without God we are doomed and through him we gain true freedom and joy in life by discovering the power of love. estory
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Thank you for your reply, writer. I will use those words too to better my life. 😊
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
To me, this poem speaks of egocetrics, and self belief. I am especially drawn to the really negative feelings, such as:
Without [...] remorse
or conscience to guide us
These drag the reader into a swamp of despair.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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To me, this poem speaks of egocetrics, and self belief. I am especially drawn to the really negative feelings, such as:
Without [...] remorse
or conscience to guide us
These drag the reader into a swamp of despair.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments supporting the piece. These are some difficult parts of this series, and I was a bit surprised by the support from the members considering how hard some of this is to read. But if you stick with it, this series does move after a time back into the light, and redemption through Christ. estory
