More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Cry Havoc! -- 1933-1939"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
31 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
It was very touching that Jack gave the painting to his sister. And I liked his justification very much..."he didnt say he loved the horses.."
So he joined RAF and the Bachs have a tough decision to make regarding the mill.
I enjoy the ambience of the story and the Bach family's trials and tribulations..
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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It was very touching that Jack gave the painting to his sister. And I liked his justification very much..."he didnt say he loved the horses.."
So he joined RAF and the Bachs have a tough decision to make regarding the mill.
I enjoy the ambience of the story and the Bach family's trials and tribulations..
Comment Written 15-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Yes. He is a nice lad. There have to be a few of them around. Many thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
"Let slip the dogs of war." Sorry, I had to finish it, I couldn't help myself -- and now I'll have to Google it, because I can't remember who wrote or said that.
You're back to high drama in this chapter, with Jack preparing for war. Tommy thinks it's a false start, but of course, we, the readers, know better. I'm enjoying Tommy's perception of Americans; it's quite funny, but in many cases, not unwarranted.
A few minor suggestions. I know the ones in the introduction don't matter too much (because you won't be summarizing things, chapter by chapter, in the finished book), but I included them anyway:
to paint a picture of and old-fashioned,
-->
to paint a picture of an old-fashioned,
He has a tight deadline to meet but, if it is ...
-->
He has a tight deadline to meet, but if it is ...
That be far too big'
-->
That be far too big.'
***
I'm also enjoying the Bache family dynamics. It's so great to see a healthy, functioning family portrayed in a novel, where love and respect are so evident. I'm also wondering whether there was any real person like Jack Bache, who you might know from your hometown, and whether any of the artwork in your chapters come from his illustrations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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"Let slip the dogs of war." Sorry, I had to finish it, I couldn't help myself -- and now I'll have to Google it, because I can't remember who wrote or said that.
You're back to high drama in this chapter, with Jack preparing for war. Tommy thinks it's a false start, but of course, we, the readers, know better. I'm enjoying Tommy's perception of Americans; it's quite funny, but in many cases, not unwarranted.
A few minor suggestions. I know the ones in the introduction don't matter too much (because you won't be summarizing things, chapter by chapter, in the finished book), but I included them anyway:
to paint a picture of and old-fashioned,
-->
to paint a picture of an old-fashioned,
He has a tight deadline to meet but, if it is ...
-->
He has a tight deadline to meet, but if it is ...
That be far too big'
-->
That be far too big.'
***
I'm also enjoying the Bache family dynamics. It's so great to see a healthy, functioning family portrayed in a novel, where love and respect are so evident. I'm also wondering whether there was any real person like Jack Bache, who you might know from your hometown, and whether any of the artwork in your chapters come from his illustrations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for this six-star review. I have addressed the points you raised. I purposely chose an illustration for this post that was based on a painting precisely for the reason you gave.
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You're very welcome! Wow, I was right about the character "Jack" -- and I nailed it, on the timing. It is a beautiful illustration!
Well, Mark Antony said it in Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," but I feel that I should have known that... anyway, now I won't forget it.
You have me wondering how much of your novel is history vs. fiction; obviously you're not privy to the personal conversations of all these characters, but I have a feeling that more than a few are/were living, breathing people!
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You raise an interesting point when you ask how much is fiction. The short answer is most of it. But it is set in a historical period so the events going on around the central action of the entirely fictional characters are factual.
So there will be real historical characters peripheral to the story such as Mr Chamberlain and Lord Woolton. The story's main characters though, are my own invention but, like all fictional characters they are created as amalgams of people this author has come up against in real life. In saying 'that more than a few are/were living, breathing people', you are paying me one of the finest compliments anyone could pay, and I thank you for it.
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What you're saying makes a lot of sense. And when you write dated novels such as yours, I'm sure you need to take extra care to keep the historical fact and context accurate.
As for the compliment, you're very welcome!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Rife with rich dialog and description! Superb.
Since there is no way any of us can possibly know how people from USA/CA spoke in the 1930s, I suggest forgoing dialect and making them speak like Jack and Julia.
I realize this next isn't a typo, but an attempt at dialect:
Don't you go selling them all off before I [gets=>sugg: GET] the chance to make you an offer.
[Time be soon, when=>sugg: Soon] folks'll be fighting for a chance to get their hands on a genuine Jack Bache."'
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Rife with rich dialog and description! Superb.
Since there is no way any of us can possibly know how people from USA/CA spoke in the 1930s, I suggest forgoing dialect and making them speak like Jack and Julia.
I realize this next isn't a typo, but an attempt at dialect:
Don't you go selling them all off before I [gets=>sugg: GET] the chance to make you an offer.
[Time be soon, when=>sugg: Soon] folks'll be fighting for a chance to get their hands on a genuine Jack Bache."'
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thanks so much for reviewing and fore these suggestions.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very good artwork and
an excellent chapter.
-It flowed well and held
my interest.
-I like the opening about Jack's
opportunity with painting for Finch,
and his imitation of the conversation
when he got home.
-He is a good chap, and honors his sisters
request, and I think she was very pleased
that he did so, and as she said, she always
had the painting for comfort when he wasn't home.
-I am still impressed with the Jack's thought
process for someone so young.
-He is good at art, but he wants to participate
in the war effort; in addition, he still wants
his father to resurrect the old mill.
-He is a unique individual for being so young.
-The assessment was interesting, and now
Tommy will have a difficult decision to make.
-I enjoyed the chapter very much!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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-Very good artwork and
an excellent chapter.
-It flowed well and held
my interest.
-I like the opening about Jack's
opportunity with painting for Finch,
and his imitation of the conversation
when he got home.
-He is a good chap, and honors his sisters
request, and I think she was very pleased
that he did so, and as she said, she always
had the painting for comfort when he wasn't home.
-I am still impressed with the Jack's thought
process for someone so young.
-He is good at art, but he wants to participate
in the war effort; in addition, he still wants
his father to resurrect the old mill.
-He is a unique individual for being so young.
-The assessment was interesting, and now
Tommy will have a difficult decision to make.
-I enjoyed the chapter very much!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this six-star review. It is much appreciated. I think young people matured faster in those days, even as recently as the early sixties. I was commanding a troop of Royal Marine commander before I was twenty in the 1960s.
In this country we raised the school leaving age to 16 at the beginning of the 1970s. I wonder that has something to do with it.
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review. Thanks for sharing in your reply. It is a bit different leaving school at 16. It is so young.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I could really feel their excitement witj Jack's painting, could imagine it too. A great insight into that time before war was officially declared. Great chapter, cheers valda
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I could really feel their excitement witj Jack's painting, could imagine it too. A great insight into that time before war was officially declared. Great chapter, cheers valda
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Thank you for reading, appreciating and reviewing this chapter.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Jack did well with his first commission, was it painted in oils? Or acrylic, or water colour, you didn't say, unless I missed that bit, how wonderful that someone so young was gifted like this. A fine story as time marches forward and he joins the RAF. And we all know there will be a war. Much enjoyed, love Dolly
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Jack did well with his first commission, was it painted in oils? Or acrylic, or water colour, you didn't say, unless I missed that bit, how wonderful that someone so young was gifted like this. A fine story as time marches forward and he joins the RAF. And we all know there will be a war. Much enjoyed, love Dolly
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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It was oil. Acrylic wasn't around then and I doubt if he could have adapted an earlier water colour. Many thanks for this generous review
Comment from roof35
At first I was going to mention that Jack's role of Mr. Finch sounded more like Jack and it and would need correcting. Then I realized that even though Jack was getting across the accent, he couldn't help but slip into his own version of the words. Examples: 1) "Before I gets the chance" instead of " Before I get the chance." 2) "Time be soon when folks" instead of "Soon folks will be." Excellent chapter and it sets up a little worry about Jack's future.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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At first I was going to mention that Jack's role of Mr. Finch sounded more like Jack and it and would need correcting. Then I realized that even though Jack was getting across the accent, he couldn't help but slip into his own version of the words. Examples: 1) "Before I gets the chance" instead of " Before I get the chance." 2) "Time be soon when folks" instead of "Soon folks will be." Excellent chapter and it sets up a little worry about Jack's future.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much for this six-star review. It has been difficult enough getting the American accent right as heard by my own ears never mind those of a fifteen year old English boy! Lol.
Comment from Tpa
Your text employs the drastic decisions during times of war and the relationships family endures. I did at times found your dialogues confusing, which was because of dialect, but still enjoyed your work.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Your text employs the drastic decisions during times of war and the relationships family endures. I did at times found your dialogues confusing, which was because of dialect, but still enjoyed your work.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, dark are looming, my dad was at Dunkirk, I was born when the bombs were dropping on Liverpool, so I like the leadup to your story, with young Jack being uncovered as a genius, but many died in the air, a most dangerous occupation, for an artist, imagine what posthumous paintings would be worth. Well done Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Oh yes, dark are looming, my dad was at Dunkirk, I was born when the bombs were dropping on Liverpool, so I like the leadup to your story, with young Jack being uncovered as a genius, but many died in the air, a most dangerous occupation, for an artist, imagine what posthumous paintings would be worth. Well done Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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We are, i think a very similar vintage. I doubt if Jack is concerned about the posthumous value of his paintings. Rememember that fine expression, 'there are no pockets in shrouds'. Lol.
Many thanks for the review.
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Good job
Comment from Sharon Davis
This story flows well, continuing the tale of Jack in a way that holds the reader's attention and leaves them wondering what will happen next. Great character development. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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This story flows well, continuing the tale of Jack in a way that holds the reader's attention and leaves them wondering what will happen next. Great character development. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for reading and reviewing.