Life Before the Mast
A Lauranelle for Potlatch Poetry52 total reviews
Comment from palmart
Great poem! Full of tough characters and their barges loaded with even tougher feelings and a certain regret for living so far off the mainland. You almost exhausted the subject since you touched on practically all the aspects that are poetically possible to develop. A great task when writing and adding the portrait of a sailor who "unrolled the waves of the seas." Very good work!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Great poem! Full of tough characters and their barges loaded with even tougher feelings and a certain regret for living so far off the mainland. You almost exhausted the subject since you touched on practically all the aspects that are poetically possible to develop. A great task when writing and adding the portrait of a sailor who "unrolled the waves of the seas." Very good work!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
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You are welcome, Damommy!!
Comment from Boogienights
This is well written and interesting. I think the way you described how life really was for sailors is accurate. I could feel the ocean spray in this poem. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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This is well written and interesting. I think the way you described how life really was for sailors is accurate. I could feel the ocean spray in this poem. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne.
This is an excellent poem. I cannot comment on the style because I don't know the style. The content is really well done.
It is an old seafarer's poem. The Story of the sailor flows as he reflects back on his life. You've included the hardships and the difficulties that he contended with while at sea. Like old sailors, it seems, he laments how difficult it was and yet he wishes he were back there.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Hello Yvonne.
This is an excellent poem. I cannot comment on the style because I don't know the style. The content is really well done.
It is an old seafarer's poem. The Story of the sailor flows as he reflects back on his life. You've included the hardships and the difficulties that he contended with while at sea. Like old sailors, it seems, he laments how difficult it was and yet he wishes he were back there.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Robert. Much appreciated.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did an excellent job with your contest entry, Yvonne. The rhymes and meter are perfect as is the color scheme and the picture. That image is what I had in mind as I read--an old sea-faring man--haggard and tanned, but still working at a job he loves. I have heard that the love of the sea is hard to resist for so many--some of whom die doing what they love. I really enjoyed the POV in your poem. I could see and hear this man recite these lines at one of the taverns where there is much rehashing of those tales. He was drawn to the sea and lived by her rules. This is one of the best of your many best poems. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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You did an excellent job with your contest entry, Yvonne. The rhymes and meter are perfect as is the color scheme and the picture. That image is what I had in mind as I read--an old sea-faring man--haggard and tanned, but still working at a job he loves. I have heard that the love of the sea is hard to resist for so many--some of whom die doing what they love. I really enjoyed the POV in your poem. I could see and hear this man recite these lines at one of the taverns where there is much rehashing of those tales. He was drawn to the sea and lived by her rules. This is one of the best of your many best poems. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review, my dear friend.
Comment from June Sargent
This is an amazing example of a lauranelle! Living on the New England coast, we are used to the moods and changes of the ocean. And I give all seafarers credit for bravely going forth against the wind for adventure and gold. In the past, gold came in the form of whale oil. You've done a great job with this piece. I just posted mine. Hopefully others will join in this fun challenge.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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This is an amazing example of a lauranelle! Living on the New England coast, we are used to the moods and changes of the ocean. And I give all seafarers credit for bravely going forth against the wind for adventure and gold. In the past, gold came in the form of whale oil. You've done a great job with this piece. I just posted mine. Hopefully others will join in this fun challenge.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review and stars! I'm so glad you like it. I have a great affinity for 'old salts,' so much that I wonder if I was one in a former life. lol.
Comment from Sally Law
This is really fun, fun, fun, and a sea worthy win. I adore brown bread, practically grew up on it. A meal in a can, rich and good! Great to take to sea. A fine presentation for the contest. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs....
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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This is really fun, fun, fun, and a sea worthy win. I adore brown bread, practically grew up on it. A meal in a can, rich and good! Great to take to sea. A fine presentation for the contest. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs....
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing.
Comment from pome lover
well, your words are marvelous - very "sea worthy" :)
and the poem has very good iambic pentameter.
I was surprised, though, at the end, that he'd do it all again, after his saying, What fool I be to listen to these liars."
But seems he toughened up and got to like it. Good for him.
And good for you. Neat poem.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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well, your words are marvelous - very "sea worthy" :)
and the poem has very good iambic pentameter.
I was surprised, though, at the end, that he'd do it all again, after his saying, What fool I be to listen to these liars."
But seems he toughened up and got to like it. Good for him.
And good for you. Neat poem.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Life is tough as the poem says: "I lived the hardest life amongst hard men, and would I could, I'd do it all again. I watched the sea roll in with gentle wave, It whispered, "Come with me if ye be brave." You are brave to do it again. Persistence is the way to achieve one's gaol. As long as people don't give up, they will succeed.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Life is tough as the poem says: "I lived the hardest life amongst hard men, and would I could, I'd do it all again. I watched the sea roll in with gentle wave, It whispered, "Come with me if ye be brave." You are brave to do it again. Persistence is the way to achieve one's gaol. As long as people don't give up, they will succeed.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Anne Johnston
I really like your poem and the picture you have chosen is perfect. You have well described the hard life that the sailor has chosen.
I like the lines: "I lived the hardest life amongst hard men,
and would I could, I'd do it all again."
'
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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I really like your poem and the picture you have chosen is perfect. You have well described the hard life that the sailor has chosen.
I like the lines: "I lived the hardest life amongst hard men,
and would I could, I'd do it all again."
'
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you. I'm so glad you liked that part.
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You are welcome
Comment from judiverse
Best of luck in the contest. What a wonderful painting. The old salt felt the call of the sea. Great line "Come with me if ye be brave." The sailor gives details of his life at sea, so the readers know it's a hard one. It must have been glamorized to him in his youth from the stories he heard. You give details to show what the men had to endure at sea. Nevertheless, he'd do it again if he could. Excellent wording to reflect the sailor's vocabulary. judi
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Best of luck in the contest. What a wonderful painting. The old salt felt the call of the sea. Great line "Come with me if ye be brave." The sailor gives details of his life at sea, so the readers know it's a hard one. It must have been glamorized to him in his youth from the stories he heard. You give details to show what the men had to endure at sea. Nevertheless, he'd do it again if he could. Excellent wording to reflect the sailor's vocabulary. judi
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I'm so happy you liked it.
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You're welcome. I admired the language. Have a great weekend. judi
