Life Before the Mast
A Lauranelle for Potlatch Poetry52 total reviews
Comment from L. Kalere
I enjoyed your entry, especially because you captured the vernacular, or what I think is the vernacular. It's well written, rhymes nicely, and reads smoothly. Well done.
Linda
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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I enjoyed your entry, especially because you captured the vernacular, or what I think is the vernacular. It's well written, rhymes nicely, and reads smoothly. Well done.
Linda
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Jo Elle
This is an excellent poem, with a taste of adventure and the wisdom of one who has lived through all kinds of hardships to earn a living.
The form is well done and the iambic pentameter is excellent.
The best to you in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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This is an excellent poem, with a taste of adventure and the wisdom of one who has lived through all kinds of hardships to earn a living.
The form is well done and the iambic pentameter is excellent.
The best to you in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
Comment from George 1
"Life Before the Mast" is a beautifully written work following the strict pattern required which can be limiting, but you have managed to make it feel free and flowing. Very nice.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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"Life Before the Mast" is a beautifully written work following the strict pattern required which can be limiting, but you have managed to make it feel free and flowing. Very nice.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you for the lovely compliment.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Yvonne!
Splendid Lauranelle! And its content surely resonated with me as my uncle sailed the seas. From an early age all he wanted to do was be a sailor:
What fool I be to listen to these liars
who knew just what to say to turn my head,
and spoke to childish dreams and youth's desires.
Unfortunately, he perished in a terrible accident, but he died doing what he loved to do.
Rhythmical and alluring. A lovely post.
diane
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Hello Yvonne!
Splendid Lauranelle! And its content surely resonated with me as my uncle sailed the seas. From an early age all he wanted to do was be a sailor:
What fool I be to listen to these liars
who knew just what to say to turn my head,
and spoke to childish dreams and youth's desires.
Unfortunately, he perished in a terrible accident, but he died doing what he loved to do.
Rhythmical and alluring. A lovely post.
diane
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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I'm so sorry about your uncle, but it sounds like he was happiest at sea. Thank you for this wonderful review!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the artwork of this old salt of the sea to accompany your well written Lauranelle.A hard life lived among hard men, but still he'd do it again, good story Yvonne, cheers valda
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Love the artwork of this old salt of the sea to accompany your well written Lauranelle.A hard life lived among hard men, but still he'd do it again, good story Yvonne, cheers valda
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Valda. Always appreciate you.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A great piece of artwork
and good presentation.
-This is an excellent poem
that puts me in the mind
of "The Old Man and the Sea."
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-Good repeating lines, too.
-I like how you show what the
sailor thought his life was going
to be like, "There'd be exciting ventures to extol."
-He soon discovered it would be
anything but: "salt and sea and sun have had their toll."
-A good concluding verse.
-I enjoyed reading your poem.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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-A great piece of artwork
and good presentation.
-This is an excellent poem
that puts me in the mind
of "The Old Man and the Sea."
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-Good repeating lines, too.
-I like how you show what the
sailor thought his life was going
to be like, "There'd be exciting ventures to extol."
-He soon discovered it would be
anything but: "salt and sea and sun have had their toll."
-A good concluding verse.
-I enjoyed reading your poem.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you. And thank you for this wonderful review!
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You are very welcome and deserving.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! Great storytelling in your lauranelle poem, Yvonne! I loved the rhythm of the poem. It's a great theme to show us that the outcome of getting used to a hard life, makes one willing to do it all again.
Hope you do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Wow! Great storytelling in your lauranelle poem, Yvonne! I loved the rhythm of the poem. It's a great theme to show us that the outcome of getting used to a hard life, makes one willing to do it all again.
Hope you do well in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much. I appreciate this great review!
Comment from Jean Lutz1
Medicine for my soul. This could be me, but it was wings that lured me. I took off for the wild blue yonder on October 20th, 1958. Last week I got to fly again for my 81st birthday. I faced the window for each departure so no one would see the tears of joy as the mighty engines revved and we became airborne. Not even a bit of turbulence could dampen my spirit. Keep pouring out your talent in ink format.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Medicine for my soul. This could be me, but it was wings that lured me. I took off for the wild blue yonder on October 20th, 1958. Last week I got to fly again for my 81st birthday. I faced the window for each departure so no one would see the tears of joy as the mighty engines revved and we became airborne. Not even a bit of turbulence could dampen my spirit. Keep pouring out your talent in ink format.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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How exciting that you got to go up for your 81st birthday! Belated Happy Birthday. Thank you for a wonderful review.
Comment from DonandVicki
I served twenty four years in the Navy and qualify as an old "Salt". You poem is quite dear to me because it reminded me of my life as a sailor and all the wonderful years at sea.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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I served twenty four years in the Navy and qualify as an old "Salt". You poem is quite dear to me because it reminded me of my life as a sailor and all the wonderful years at sea.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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I'm an old Navy wife from years ago. I've always had an affinity for 'old salts,' so much so that I wonder if it's in my DNA from ancestors.
Comment from dragonpoet
Yvonne,
You found fitting artwork to illustrate your words that describe the life of a sailor. It seems like he complains a lot about a seaman's life, but would not change their past.
This is a well done laurenelle for the potlatch challenge
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Yvonne,
You found fitting artwork to illustrate your words that describe the life of a sailor. It seems like he complains a lot about a seaman's life, but would not change their past.
This is a well done laurenelle for the potlatch challenge
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 10-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much. I hope this finds you well.
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Don't mention it, Yvonne.
Joan
