Uncharted Paths
A balloons journey.2 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
HimShawn,
I always hate to give four-star reviews, but there is a major problem here, even if it is a metaphorical story representing the soul. Balloons filled with the "breath of Life," i.e. air from lungs, don't float up. They need to be filled with helium (lighter than air) to ascend. I also can't imagine a balloon going high enough for horizons to disappear. Even from the moon, Earth has horizons. One little technical writing thing: you are also missing an apostrophe in "balloons" in your description. I'm sorry that I have no advice to offer on a simple fix for your story.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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HimShawn,
I always hate to give four-star reviews, but there is a major problem here, even if it is a metaphorical story representing the soul. Balloons filled with the "breath of Life," i.e. air from lungs, don't float up. They need to be filled with helium (lighter than air) to ascend. I also can't imagine a balloon going high enough for horizons to disappear. Even from the moon, Earth has horizons. One little technical writing thing: you are also missing an apostrophe in "balloons" in your description. I'm sorry that I have no advice to offer on a simple fix for your story.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Thanks for the feedback
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry is interesting. Good job with the requirements of the contest. I enjoyed reading and thinking about this. I believe you are speaking about more than a balloon ~ maybe when someone dies and goes to Heaven. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Your contest entry is interesting. Good job with the requirements of the contest. I enjoyed reading and thinking about this. I believe you are speaking about more than a balloon ~ maybe when someone dies and goes to Heaven. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Thank you for the review
