Kyle
a 75-word story16 total reviews
Comment from Earl Corp
Wow! You wrote a hundred word tongue twister. This should have been a contest entry. Thanks for sharing. Very nice job. Stay safe and stay healthy.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Wow! You wrote a hundred word tongue twister. This should have been a contest entry. Thanks for sharing. Very nice job. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thanks, Earl
Comment from Jay Squires
You kinda like alliteration, don't you, Bill? It's quite effective in short prose pieces like this. So much rests with the ending of a microflash, and I must admit, yours is a puzzler to me. My education must be lacking on Copernicus's quotes. Or is that precisely the point? Help!
the kinestetics coaches kid at the Koko Kamp for kindergarteners. [While the remedy doesn't look right, "coaches" is definitely possessive, not plural: should be, I believe, "COACH'S" but it just doesn't look right.
At any rate, good luck with the contest. We obscurantists need to stick together or we get thinned from the herd and eaten.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You kinda like alliteration, don't you, Bill? It's quite effective in short prose pieces like this. So much rests with the ending of a microflash, and I must admit, yours is a puzzler to me. My education must be lacking on Copernicus's quotes. Or is that precisely the point? Help!
the kinestetics coaches kid at the Koko Kamp for kindergarteners. [While the remedy doesn't look right, "coaches" is definitely possessive, not plural: should be, I believe, "COACH'S" but it just doesn't look right.
At any rate, good luck with the contest. We obscurantists need to stick together or we get thinned from the herd and eaten.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Jay. I changed that to a possessive, along with a couple other revisions. Here's a Copernicus quote:
?To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.?
― Nicolaus Copernicus
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Ha! Never heard of his quotes. There's the reason.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh my word! Bill, that was so clever! The story was excellent and you jammed it tight with loads of K sounding alliteration. That took some doing. I'm glad Kyle managed to get back at Kenny! Lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Oh my word! Bill, that was so clever! The story was excellent and you jammed it tight with loads of K sounding alliteration. That took some doing. I'm glad Kyle managed to get back at Kenny! Lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Sandra.
Comment from robyn corum
Bill,
Ugh. You hate me. But, no -- I made it through. And to tell the truth, you actually did really well. I got all the way to the following bit before I realized what you were doing - when generally, I get it by the second or third word, right? *smile*
the kinestetics coaches kid at the Koko
Kudos! (<--- hahaha - see what I did there?)
One note:
--> crumby Connors kid
--> do you mean 'crummy'?
Thanks!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Bill,
Ugh. You hate me. But, no -- I made it through. And to tell the truth, you actually did really well. I got all the way to the following bit before I realized what you were doing - when generally, I get it by the second or third word, right? *smile*
the kinestetics coaches kid at the Koko
Kudos! (<--- hahaha - see what I did there?)
One note:
--> crumby Connors kid
--> do you mean 'crummy'?
Thanks!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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I did mean crummy and now I've written it that way. Thank you, Robyn for the positive review. Bill
Comment from Sharon Davis
This story is well written, especially with the limited number of allotted words. The alliteration adds to the overall effect of the storytelling. Nicely presented.
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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This story is well written, especially with the limited number of allotted words. The alliteration adds to the overall effect of the storytelling. Nicely presented.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Sharon.
Comment from BethShelby
You did a great job of telling us all about Kyle's personality and problems he had with another another kid who seemed to be something of a bully. You have really gone overboard with the alliteration, but it worked because we got a clear picture of what both Kyle and Kenny were like.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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You did a great job of telling us all about Kyle's personality and problems he had with another another kid who seemed to be something of a bully. You have really gone overboard with the alliteration, but it worked because we got a clear picture of what both Kyle and Kenny were like.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Beth, for the kind review. Bill
