Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Tempt Me Not"Musings of an old man -2021
32 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This seems a prayer to not fall to temptation. To use faith to keep from doing wrong. This format makes the emotion more intense. It must have been difficult to fit the words to the form. You did it well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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This seems a prayer to not fall to temptation. To use faith to keep from doing wrong. This format makes the emotion more intense. It must have been difficult to fit the words to the form. You did it well.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Joan, thank you. I did the first Tetractys and I thought hum, not a complete narrative, then on to two, then three and landed at four. I loved the challenge!
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You're welcome, JLR. Some challenges are fun.
Joan
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
As it is stated temptation is like a knife, that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction. ... Beyond a limit, it is a disaster. I enjoyed the form of the well-written poetry. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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As it is stated temptation is like a knife, that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction. ... Beyond a limit, it is a disaster. I enjoyed the form of the well-written poetry. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this poetic exercise.
Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly
A wonderfully lyrical poem that flows extremely well given the constraints of the Quadruple Tetractys with 80 syllables you were working within. Thank you.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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A wonderfully lyrical poem that flows extremely well given the constraints of the Quadruple Tetractys with 80 syllables you were working within. Thank you.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Thank you for your comments .
Comment from Wendy G
That is a lovely poem using a quite difficult and challenging format with smoothness and ease. It is thought-provoking and challenging. The choice of image is perfect to accompany your work.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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That is a lovely poem using a quite difficult and challenging format with smoothness and ease. It is thought-provoking and challenging. The choice of image is perfect to accompany your work.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Wendy, thank you for reading and commenting.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Is this a mermaid waiting patiently for man? Not sure, but you created a mysterious moment here in your poem, i am not familiar with the form but your poem left me wondering what this is about, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Is this a mermaid waiting patiently for man? Not sure, but you created a mysterious moment here in your poem, i am not familiar with the form but your poem left me wondering what this is about, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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It is all about a man and temptation, especially at times when he lets his thoughts wander. It is about his struggle...
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This appears to be quite a complicated form that you have conquered. The message comes through quite clearly and artistically in the way you have chosen to render your poem.
Lingering memories, while I collect
moments of near
pleasant times
once held
dear.
Stand
firm with
my reserve!
The imagery of your struggle.
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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This appears to be quite a complicated form that you have conquered. The message comes through quite clearly and artistically in the way you have chosen to render your poem.
Lingering memories, while I collect
moments of near
pleasant times
once held
dear.
Stand
firm with
my reserve!
The imagery of your struggle.
Ralf
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Ralf, thank you! Yes it is about his struggle.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem. You did a good job with a complex style 4 times over. Your words flow smoothly with great imagery. I could see everything you wrote. I like the image, but your words paint their own picture.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem. You did a good job with a complex style 4 times over. Your words flow smoothly with great imagery. I could see everything you wrote. I like the image, but your words paint their own picture.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
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Jan, thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment. The poetic style is quite limiting if presented in only one Tectratys, by expanding it into four, one can complete a poetic narration.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have created an amazing poem here, one that I've attempted in the singular, and failed miserably, so for you to produce this one, is really clever. Temptation is always around us, but if you can ignore it, well done, but if not... A pleasure to read! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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You have created an amazing poem here, one that I've attempted in the singular, and failed miserably, so for you to produce this one, is really clever. Temptation is always around us, but if you can ignore it, well done, but if not... A pleasure to read! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much Sandra.
Comment from Ben B.
"Do come sir?" So wait, is the speaker in this poem the one answering the siren's call or is she the siren itself? A little vague there if you don't mind me saying.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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"Do come sir?" So wait, is the speaker in this poem the one answering the siren's call or is she the siren itself? A little vague there if you don't mind me saying.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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He is reasoning why he should not fall to her wild ways. She beckons him still at the end.
Comment from prodigal
I don't count syllables so I'll take your word it's correct and just look at the content.
I like the combination of tempt me not and the sirens call. It works.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I don't count syllables so I'll take your word it's correct and just look at the content.
I like the combination of tempt me not and the sirens call. It works.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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Thanks
