Sunnilicious' NaPoWriMo, April 2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "This Old Country House"National Poetry Writing Month, Annual Event
6 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like the way you described this old country house. I could picture it as I read your poem. Good job. Your words are descriptive and the rhymes work well. I like the image and the color scheme, too. I like the line about the floors with their sass.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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I like the way you described this old country house. I could picture it as I read your poem. Good job. Your words are descriptive and the rhymes work well. I like the image and the color scheme, too. I like the line about the floors with their sass.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
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Thank you :)
Comment from Susan Newell
I like the mood and the picture this poem paints, but there are some problems with punctuation, capitalization and word usage. I don't think I would be helping you to just say it's great. Everything you learn you can apply to future poems.
Rustic -- rustic
Suggest period after riverside because the next clause is not parallel with those in that line. I also don't think you should keep "And" at the beginning of the next line.
Hear -- hear
fraught is an adjective (or as a noun means freight or cargo) -- suggest you use simple "fright" or similar. I know you are looking for rhyme, but you may have to change two words.
; With or without green grass -- don't capitalize after a semicolon. I also don't understand the relevance or placement of this phrase.
"them floors" -- unless used in dialogue, stick to "those floors," keeping good grammar in mind
I really like the last two lines and I think you can vastly improve this with a few tweaks.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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I like the mood and the picture this poem paints, but there are some problems with punctuation, capitalization and word usage. I don't think I would be helping you to just say it's great. Everything you learn you can apply to future poems.
Rustic -- rustic
Suggest period after riverside because the next clause is not parallel with those in that line. I also don't think you should keep "And" at the beginning of the next line.
Hear -- hear
fraught is an adjective (or as a noun means freight or cargo) -- suggest you use simple "fright" or similar. I know you are looking for rhyme, but you may have to change two words.
; With or without green grass -- don't capitalize after a semicolon. I also don't understand the relevance or placement of this phrase.
"them floors" -- unless used in dialogue, stick to "those floors," keeping good grammar in mind
I really like the last two lines and I think you can vastly improve this with a few tweaks.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Hi! I actually use the commas with capitalization to emphasize a seperate thought that is important. It's not traditional writing. It's poetic. Fraught also means distress. I appreciate the semicolon note. I like twang, I have it, however, great edit note. Thank you :)
Comment from royowen
What an excellent poem for the April poem a day challenge, your a good writer, and this is a very worthy addition to these great works thst you have already posted, well done Alicia, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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What an excellent poem for the April poem a day challenge, your a good writer, and this is a very worthy addition to these great works thst you have already posted, well done Alicia, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Thank you. Hearts & hugs, Alicia (aka Sunnilicious)
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Bless you Alicia,
Comment from lyenochka
Hmmm. It sounds both attractive and a little scary. I loved "Hear echos from the past boast," but I'm worried that "them floors will sass." But it seems like the well water will help me relax. Enjoyed your country house poem!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Hmmm. It sounds both attractive and a little scary. I loved "Hear echos from the past boast," but I'm worried that "them floors will sass." But it seems like the well water will help me relax. Enjoyed your country house poem!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Thank you. Happy Easter :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I like that you describe the house as a picturesque wreck. We can see beauty in all sorts of things that maybe old or in disrepair, a fine write Alicia, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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I like that you describe the house as a picturesque wreck. We can see beauty in all sorts of things that maybe old or in disrepair, a fine write Alicia, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Thank you. Happy Easter :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The old house carries secrets and joys under her stoic structure. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings. Have a blessed Easter day.ð?¤?
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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The old house carries secrets and joys under her stoic structure. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings. Have a blessed Easter day.ð?¤?
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Thank you. Happy Easter :)
