More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Post 28 - Lambing Shed - 1931 "Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
27 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
I seem to be a bit behind at the moment.
The shepherd seems a wise soul. As you say, nature can be very cruel sometimes. I wonder what you have in mind for Julia later. :)
Just a few points:
they had seen the orphans wrapped in the fleeces of dead lambs in an effort to get the now childless ewe to accept the orphan as her own. - I don't really like 'childless' but I don't know what an alternative could be.
Instead it appeared as some ghastly mistake of nature, - comma after 'instead'
He looked down at the blooded straw, - did you mean 'bloodied'?
He was about to do the necessary thing, - maybe replace 'thing' with 'deed'?
'Come on, Miss Julia, You be the shepherd here,' he said, keeping his voice gentle. - lower case for 'You' or period after 'Julia'
With her left hand she found the tiny lamb's head. - comma after 'hand'
'Fetch an old sack, Maister Jack. You can wrap her in that and I'll take her outside,' said Jonah over his shoulder as he gently prised the knife from Julia's grasp. - comma after 'shoulder'
It appals me, and I just can't bear it.' - spelling 'appalls' but you might want to check.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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I seem to be a bit behind at the moment.
The shepherd seems a wise soul. As you say, nature can be very cruel sometimes. I wonder what you have in mind for Julia later. :)
Just a few points:
they had seen the orphans wrapped in the fleeces of dead lambs in an effort to get the now childless ewe to accept the orphan as her own. - I don't really like 'childless' but I don't know what an alternative could be.
Instead it appeared as some ghastly mistake of nature, - comma after 'instead'
He looked down at the blooded straw, - did you mean 'bloodied'?
He was about to do the necessary thing, - maybe replace 'thing' with 'deed'?
'Come on, Miss Julia, You be the shepherd here,' he said, keeping his voice gentle. - lower case for 'You' or period after 'Julia'
With her left hand she found the tiny lamb's head. - comma after 'hand'
'Fetch an old sack, Maister Jack. You can wrap her in that and I'll take her outside,' said Jonah over his shoulder as he gently prised the knife from Julia's grasp. - comma after 'shoulder'
It appals me, and I just can't bear it.' - spelling 'appalls' but you might want to check.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for this. I think i found a way around the 'childless lamb problem. I wasn't particularly fond of the anthropomorphism either. Apparently apalls is the US spelling and elsewhere it is as I have it - appals.
Comment from Sanku
nature will reject the imperfect but human beings find it difficult to be 'cruel-kind'.Our emotions choke us. This was a beautiful chapter about growing up. Julia's lack of compassion worries her since she knows she ought to rise above such negative feelings
I had missed two previous chapters .I read them before this.You have portrayed the feelings of proud parents very well. That both their children had hidden talents ,their daughters model farm is very clever and scientific,had made them very emotional..Enjoyed reading all the three.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2021
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nature will reject the imperfect but human beings find it difficult to be 'cruel-kind'.Our emotions choke us. This was a beautiful chapter about growing up. Julia's lack of compassion worries her since she knows she ought to rise above such negative feelings
I had missed two previous chapters .I read them before this.You have portrayed the feelings of proud parents very well. That both their children had hidden talents ,their daughters model farm is very clever and scientific,had made them very emotional..Enjoyed reading all the three.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for this perceptive and complimentary, six star review. It was not the easiest chapter to write as the incidents were based on real experiences of my own, though not occurring in my case at age 13.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I figured this chapter would
be more difficult to read because
I am not good with medical things
and issues like this.
-I read enough to have the basic
idea, and it had to be very
difficult for the children at this age.
-I'm not sure where Jonah came
from and I apologize if I missed something.
-I got the feeling he thought Julia should
just do what needed to be done and not
hold back on it.
-I'm not sure how it will impact her
future, and I would not be able to
deal with this situation at all; I
would have let her brother do it.
-In that respect, it's not a lack of
compassion, but facing what these
gentle creatures had to go through.
-However, on other hand, it is
telling that she shunned the
girl with the club foot.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2021
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-I figured this chapter would
be more difficult to read because
I am not good with medical things
and issues like this.
-I read enough to have the basic
idea, and it had to be very
difficult for the children at this age.
-I'm not sure where Jonah came
from and I apologize if I missed something.
-I got the feeling he thought Julia should
just do what needed to be done and not
hold back on it.
-I'm not sure how it will impact her
future, and I would not be able to
deal with this situation at all; I
would have let her brother do it.
-In that respect, it's not a lack of
compassion, but facing what these
gentle creatures had to go through.
-However, on other hand, it is
telling that she shunned the
girl with the club foot.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2021
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I am sorry you found this chapter disturbing, but had it not been, Julia's reaction would have seemed overblown. Incidents here were drawn from my own experience. A litter of puppies born to my do two years ago contained several deformed in much the same way and I found the whole business very difficult to scope with.
The goose too was drawn from my own experiences of a neighbour's bird many years ago. The club footed girl though, was drawn from my imagination.
Jonah was a new character, made necessary by the way I have rattled through the years. I real terms he was probably a member of the team who, thirty years before worked through the snow to rescue sheep, but he would have been a much younger man then and just one of a team.
Thank you for persevering with review of a chapter you fond so harrowing.
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No need to apologize. I know difficult things happen on farms and in the wild, too. I was never cut out to be a nurse or doctor! Thanks for the update about Jonah, too. Have a great day!
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;))
Comment from royowen
Isn't it funny thst you described Julia as having a dark side, thst she wanted to shun imperfection, and in fact, did, but was painfully aware of it. It's so interesting that you've engaged in a number of occupations, and mention, an omnipotent God allowing this, but there are other considerations you probably don't understand, and could be important. Beautifully written, as always, blessings Roy
Typo : He looked down at the (blooded) straw...bloodied? 2 : and (stumped) away. Stomped?
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Isn't it funny thst you described Julia as having a dark side, thst she wanted to shun imperfection, and in fact, did, but was painfully aware of it. It's so interesting that you've engaged in a number of occupations, and mention, an omnipotent God allowing this, but there are other considerations you probably don't understand, and could be important. Beautifully written, as always, blessings Roy
Typo : He looked down at the (blooded) straw...bloodied? 2 : and (stumped) away. Stomped?
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for this kind review. Blooded I will grant you should be bloodied but stumped is perfectly OK in my book and it doesn't have the angst of stomped. Lol.
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I was quite curious Jim, never heard it used in that context, but that?s fine, I?m teachable.
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Post transportation English I suppose. Lol.
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I lost it on the prison ship coming out here.
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Ha, ha, ha. Great remark.
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I knew you would,
Comment from RetroStarfish
Fascinating. Great description of the process of lambing and the wonderful character of Jonah Yapp, right down to the soft greasy fingers caused by lanolin-infused wool. Great detail - and great foreshadowing.
I can't wait to read about what ever happens in the future that harkens back to this incident.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Fascinating. Great description of the process of lambing and the wonderful character of Jonah Yapp, right down to the soft greasy fingers caused by lanolin-infused wool. Great detail - and great foreshadowing.
I can't wait to read about what ever happens in the future that harkens back to this incident.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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That future event is a long way ahead, in book three actually. I am pleased you found this chapter interesting and worth those six stars. Thank you very much.
Comment from bhogg
One of the best things I've read on this site for quite awhile. A life lesson for sure. One of the chapters in my novel is titled, The Way with Chickens. It tells of a chicken that was different and shunned by the other chickens, eventually pecked to death. As you so poignantly point out, this behavior is not limited to animals. Well done. Bill
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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One of the best things I've read on this site for quite awhile. A life lesson for sure. One of the chapters in my novel is titled, The Way with Chickens. It tells of a chicken that was different and shunned by the other chickens, eventually pecked to death. As you so poignantly point out, this behavior is not limited to animals. Well done. Bill
Comment Written 03-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much fo this cracking, six star review. It is always great to have one's efforts endorsed like this in review.
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Your welcome.
Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly
This story continues to enthrall and educate. The characters are growing and developing with very well rounded personalities and the dialogue is crisp, thank you.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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This story continues to enthrall and educate. The characters are growing and developing with very well rounded personalities and the dialogue is crisp, thank you.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for this perceptive review.
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It is my pleasure.
Comment from roof35
My goodness, this was a shocking chapter and very surprising. Up to now, Julia seemed like such a "good kid." Not that one flaw makes her bad, but it is a big flaw when it comes to the girl with the club foot. This is well written as always.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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My goodness, this was a shocking chapter and very surprising. Up to now, Julia seemed like such a "good kid." Not that one flaw makes her bad, but it is a big flaw when it comes to the girl with the club foot. This is well written as always.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for this six-star review. Once again, it is much appreciated.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
PANTYGYNT:
I had begun to suspect there was a character fault in Julia that might cause some disturbing things to happen around her. Could it be she
could have prevented a tragedy from happening but did not have the compassion to do so? Your writing continues to both inform and intrigue me.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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PANTYGYNT:
I had begun to suspect there was a character fault in Julia that might cause some disturbing things to happen around her. Could it be she
could have prevented a tragedy from happening but did not have the compassion to do so? Your writing continues to both inform and intrigue me.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for this perceptive review. Much appreciated.
Comment from Ulla
Yes, Jim, this is indeed a flaw in the young miss Julia. She shuns any imperfection that appears in any animal human or not. We are, after all, animals all of us. So where does that leave her? A good question. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Yes, Jim, this is indeed a flaw in the young miss Julia. She shuns any imperfection that appears in any animal human or not. We are, after all, animals all of us. So where does that leave her? A good question. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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This one will have to wait until book three when it will come back to haunt her. Many thanks for reviewing.