Nobody Likes A Brat
Willie learns that brats are not happy kids.22 total reviews
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
Congrats on your third place ribbon, Beth! I don't think I've ever seen any of your poems, this might be the first!! This is a great poem, with a great message, flow, and rhymes! One comment, I think "came" should be "come" in the fourth line of the first stanza. Well done!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Congrats on your third place ribbon, Beth! I don't think I've ever seen any of your poems, this might be the first!! This is a great poem, with a great message, flow, and rhymes! One comment, I think "came" should be "come" in the fourth line of the first stanza. Well done!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for the review on this poem. I've written quite a few. Last year I won a hundred dollar gift certificate on one and when I was on this site back ten years ago I won a hundred dollar gift certificate. I must have at least a hundred poems in my portfolio.
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Since I?ve been here, only a few months, I?ve seen mostly your letters to your late husband. So hard to find time to look around!!
Comment from AnnaLinda
Beth,
What a talented poet you are! Congratulations on your 3rd place win!
Very smooth read with a good lesson inside it and great rhymes. I
enjoyed reading this very much and this is where things take a turn...
which is a super stanza:
"From now on, Young Man, we'll do it my way.
I'm laying down rules, which you must obey.
Your chores must be done before you can play;
starting right now, without further delay."
Anna
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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Beth,
What a talented poet you are! Congratulations on your 3rd place win!
Very smooth read with a good lesson inside it and great rhymes. I
enjoyed reading this very much and this is where things take a turn...
which is a super stanza:
"From now on, Young Man, we'll do it my way.
I'm laying down rules, which you must obey.
Your chores must be done before you can play;
starting right now, without further delay."
Anna
Comment Written 30-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I enjoy writing poems every now and then.
Beth
Comment from Jean Lutz1
Bring back parenting. This current culture stuff isn't working. Take away the electronic -- teach them to garden. And for those of us who are old school -- let's turn out books that don't dumb down.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2021
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Bring back parenting. This current culture stuff isn't working. Take away the electronic -- teach them to garden. And for those of us who are old school -- let's turn out books that don't dumb down.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2021
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Thank you Jean. I definitely agree with you. Thank for reviewing my poem.
Beth
Comment from MAMONIA
I have to admit that this is a fantastic piece of writing with even a moral at the end. You have a wonderful talent and it is evident that you also have a sense of humor.
Best of luck in the contest. You are a shoo-in.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2021
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I have to admit that this is a fantastic piece of writing with even a moral at the end. You have a wonderful talent and it is evident that you also have a sense of humor.
Best of luck in the contest. You are a shoo-in.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for this delightful review and for the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
When common sense kicks in we have better children. The narrative that they should be allowed to express themselves in any manner is garbage.
Children need guidance in order to make sense of why we have rules.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021
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When common sense kicks in we have better children. The narrative that they should be allowed to express themselves in any manner is garbage.
Children need guidance in order to make sense of why we have rules.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021
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I agree with you on that. Thanks you for reading and reviewing this.
Smiles.
Comment from Sharon Davis
Ah...love the the theme of this poem. So relatable to real life and the importance of offering guidance and support along with material possessions and unfettered freedoms to behave without consideration of others. Good work
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Ah...love the the theme of this poem. So relatable to real life and the importance of offering guidance and support along with material possessions and unfettered freedoms to behave without consideration of others. Good work
Comment Written 22-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments.
Comment from Karen Estep
Well done, my friend. This is so true of society today. Most parents are just too busy to take notice. Your rhyming scheme was easy to follow and I love the graphic you chosr!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Well done, my friend. This is so true of society today. Most parents are just too busy to take notice. Your rhyming scheme was easy to follow and I love the graphic you chosr!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I glad you liked this.
Smiles.
Comment from Patrick Letellier
I love this. Wonderful use of rhyme, clever language, nice rhythm, and you tell a story that's so relatable. That's a hard note to hit, balancing all those elements without lapsing into cliché or predictability. You do not: your piece is original, unpredictable, and a fun read. I was reminded of Dr. Seuss.
Lots of favorite lines, like:
He growled at the dog and hissed at the cat.
And this whole stanza:
His parents decided they'd had enough.
Maybe the problem's, he's has too much stuff.
His dad decided t'was time to get tough.
The moment arrived to call Willie's bluff.
(Though in line 3 it's "he has too much stuff," rather than "he's has." Or you could say, "he's got." Yes?)
I know critiques or insights on how to improve the work are helpful. I have neither. I think it's a gem!
I'm new to this site and have read maybe 25-30 pieces. This is the only one where I thought: she/he could publish this. I believe you could and I hope you do (if that's something you're interested in doing).
Keep it up. Great work.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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I love this. Wonderful use of rhyme, clever language, nice rhythm, and you tell a story that's so relatable. That's a hard note to hit, balancing all those elements without lapsing into cliché or predictability. You do not: your piece is original, unpredictable, and a fun read. I was reminded of Dr. Seuss.
Lots of favorite lines, like:
He growled at the dog and hissed at the cat.
And this whole stanza:
His parents decided they'd had enough.
Maybe the problem's, he's has too much stuff.
His dad decided t'was time to get tough.
The moment arrived to call Willie's bluff.
(Though in line 3 it's "he has too much stuff," rather than "he's has." Or you could say, "he's got." Yes?)
I know critiques or insights on how to improve the work are helpful. I have neither. I think it's a gem!
I'm new to this site and have read maybe 25-30 pieces. This is the only one where I thought: she/he could publish this. I believe you could and I hope you do (if that's something you're interested in doing).
Keep it up. Great work.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for the delightful review. That was an error that you caught. I meant to say he's had too much stuff.
I really appreciate the detailed review. If you are new to the site welcome. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Comment from Bettyanne Twigg
I like this. Nice picture. It might well be a good child's book with the right photographs. Children have few restrictions today and suffer from that lack. Grandchildren often get more love and care from grandparents than from their parents. Go for it!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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I like this. Nice picture. It might well be a good child's book with the right photographs. Children have few restrictions today and suffer from that lack. Grandchildren often get more love and care from grandparents than from their parents. Go for it!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Thank for the review and comments. I see you are new on FanStory. Welcome, I hope enjoy it here. When we are new we learn the hard way that if you give less that five stars, it is customary to tell people how you think their work can be improved for a better rating.
Smiles,
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a really cute entry for this contest. I loved the rhythm and rhyme! The poem just bounces right along. The storyline to it is great. Glad to hear that it worked for Willie. Good luck in the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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This is a really cute entry for this contest. I loved the rhythm and rhyme! The poem just bounces right along. The storyline to it is great. Glad to hear that it worked for Willie. Good luck in the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 22-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2021
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Thank you Patty. I really appreciate the review and comments.
