New Choice of The Grim Reapers
The Grim Reapers' specialty field is playing out.20 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is really funny, Beth. Touches on all the sad sides of life. As the world turns, things change and even death gets a few bad years in between all the turmoil. Well thought out and addressed. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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This is really funny, Beth. Touches on all the sad sides of life. As the world turns, things change and even death gets a few bad years in between all the turmoil. Well thought out and addressed. Nancy:)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you Nancy, I appreciate the review and comments. I'm glad you got a chuckle from this different kind of script. I thought I already written something to you but this is showing I much not have hit save.
Beth
Comment from AnnaLinda
Beth,
Gee, you did a great job on this script for the contest!
It's also a way to sneak in some political points/opinions
too;)
"I can't understand what they see in living longer. Social Security isn't around any more, and they're all having to go back to work."
Right! And good "Skull & Bones" mention and the Deadwood Saloon with a Bloody Mary.
One thing...abortions were over 42 million worldwide last year. Yama must still be very busy with that field.
Yup! More is coming...
"Murder, War, and Suicide are all good fields."
Very well done!
Anna
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Beth,
Gee, you did a great job on this script for the contest!
It's also a way to sneak in some political points/opinions
too;)
"I can't understand what they see in living longer. Social Security isn't around any more, and they're all having to go back to work."
Right! And good "Skull & Bones" mention and the Deadwood Saloon with a Bloody Mary.
One thing...abortions were over 42 million worldwide last year. Yama must still be very busy with that field.
Yup! More is coming...
"Murder, War, and Suicide are all good fields."
Very well done!
Anna
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thanks, Anna, I'm glad you weren't turned off by my dark humor. TI appreciate the great review and comments.
Beth
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I enjoyed it.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very creative script! I like the way you brought current issues into it, as well as historical events, and just enough humor (even though it was, of necessity, dark humor). It reminded me fondly of a TV series from about 15 years ago called "Dead Like Me," about a very cute, rather hapless young woman who dies in a freak accident and comes back as a grim reaper, living life among us incognito with others of her kind -- it had just enough drama and a lot of humor, as well.
Here's my list of errors and suggestions:
The Grim Reapers specialty field is playing out.
-->
The Grim Reapers' specialty field is playing out.
The lightning is dim ...
-->
The lighting is dim ...
Three hooded figures sit together on long straight bench.
-->
Three hooded figures sit together on a long straight bench.
Time: 2038 a.d.
-->
Year: AD 2028
Thanatos Greek god of nonviolent deaths.
-->
Thanatos: Greek god of nonviolent deaths.
Opening: Lights come up the music playing softly,and the three hooded can be heard emitting deep sighs.
-->
Opening: Lights come up, the music playing softly, and the three hooded figures can be heard emitting deep sighs.
If all those vaccine companies hadn't seen an opportunity to make money and gotten themselve in high gear,
-->
If all those vaccine companies hadn't seen an opportunity to make money and gotten themselves in high gear,
...and often welcomed me with open arms..
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...and often welcomed me with open arms.
...and they're all having to go back to work
-->
...and they're all having to go back to work.
Yama""You're right.
-->
Yama You're right.
What field were you in?"
-->
What field were you in?
Like I said before, back in 2919 and couple of years after that, business was booming
-->
Like I said before, back in 2019 and a couple of years after that, business was booming.
You know, I was around for the Black plague.
-->
You know, I was around for the Black Plague.
Yama:"Well, guys, we've got a real dilemma on our hands,
-->
Yama: Well, guys, we've got a real dilemma on our hands.
"Where are we going to go?
-->
Where are we going to go?
Have you come up with a solution?"
-->
Have you come up with a solution?
Also there's a bunch of new groups that have formed promoting violence.
-->
Also there's a bunch of new groups that have formed, promoting violence.
Remember back when the US capital building was stormed?
-->
Remember back when the U.S. Capitol building was stormed?
I'll bet those fields and begging for applicants.
-->
I'll bet those fields are begging for applicants.
Our times not up.
-->
Our time's not up.
What you say, we all shake on it ...
-->
What do you say, we all shake on it ...
...and exit left with hooded heads held high and doing a dance step as the leave the scene.
-->
...and exit left with hooded heads held high, doing a dance step as they leave the scene.
***
Your opening description, "Underworld Unemployment Office," makes a double entendre, which is rather entertaining (these are undoubtedly, shady characters). This story definitely held my interest, and I wish I had a bigger supply of sixes!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Very creative script! I like the way you brought current issues into it, as well as historical events, and just enough humor (even though it was, of necessity, dark humor). It reminded me fondly of a TV series from about 15 years ago called "Dead Like Me," about a very cute, rather hapless young woman who dies in a freak accident and comes back as a grim reaper, living life among us incognito with others of her kind -- it had just enough drama and a lot of humor, as well.
Here's my list of errors and suggestions:
The Grim Reapers specialty field is playing out.
-->
The Grim Reapers' specialty field is playing out.
The lightning is dim ...
-->
The lighting is dim ...
Three hooded figures sit together on long straight bench.
-->
Three hooded figures sit together on a long straight bench.
Time: 2038 a.d.
-->
Year: AD 2028
Thanatos Greek god of nonviolent deaths.
-->
Thanatos: Greek god of nonviolent deaths.
Opening: Lights come up the music playing softly,and the three hooded can be heard emitting deep sighs.
-->
Opening: Lights come up, the music playing softly, and the three hooded figures can be heard emitting deep sighs.
If all those vaccine companies hadn't seen an opportunity to make money and gotten themselve in high gear,
-->
If all those vaccine companies hadn't seen an opportunity to make money and gotten themselves in high gear,
...and often welcomed me with open arms..
-->
...and often welcomed me with open arms.
...and they're all having to go back to work
-->
...and they're all having to go back to work.
Yama""You're right.
-->
Yama You're right.
What field were you in?"
-->
What field were you in?
Like I said before, back in 2919 and couple of years after that, business was booming
-->
Like I said before, back in 2019 and a couple of years after that, business was booming.
You know, I was around for the Black plague.
-->
You know, I was around for the Black Plague.
Yama:"Well, guys, we've got a real dilemma on our hands,
-->
Yama: Well, guys, we've got a real dilemma on our hands.
"Where are we going to go?
-->
Where are we going to go?
Have you come up with a solution?"
-->
Have you come up with a solution?
Also there's a bunch of new groups that have formed promoting violence.
-->
Also there's a bunch of new groups that have formed, promoting violence.
Remember back when the US capital building was stormed?
-->
Remember back when the U.S. Capitol building was stormed?
I'll bet those fields and begging for applicants.
-->
I'll bet those fields are begging for applicants.
Our times not up.
-->
Our time's not up.
What you say, we all shake on it ...
-->
What do you say, we all shake on it ...
...and exit left with hooded heads held high and doing a dance step as the leave the scene.
-->
...and exit left with hooded heads held high, doing a dance step as they leave the scene.
***
Your opening description, "Underworld Unemployment Office," makes a double entendre, which is rather entertaining (these are undoubtedly, shady characters). This story definitely held my interest, and I wish I had a bigger supply of sixes!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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What would I even do without you? You make might writing so much better. It is so good to know it if free of all those error and can't seem to catch on my own. Thanks a million. I'm glad you liked my dark humor.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Beth. Yes, I enjoyed this piece. God bless you and thank you for your prayers.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from lyenochka
What a creative approach for your script! I can't imagine three grim reapers having this conference but you made them rather likable. Most of all, you gave us a historical perspective plus a futuristic view of all the ways we might avoid death. Great job and best wishes in the contest!
Our times not up. (time's)
Deadwood Salooon (Saloon)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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What a creative approach for your script! I can't imagine three grim reapers having this conference but you made them rather likable. Most of all, you gave us a historical perspective plus a futuristic view of all the ways we might avoid death. Great job and best wishes in the contest!
Our times not up. (time's)
Deadwood Salooon (Saloon)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Helen. I really appreciate you reviewing my dark humor and giving it six stars. It's now been the Mary Kay editing session so it should be error free. She is a jewel.
Beth
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStupendous! Ingenious satire script--I'll be PISSED if this doesn't win. Cheerssssss. LIZ
heads-up: you classified it as humor fiction vs script
The Grim [Reapers=>REAPERS'] specialty field is playing out.
2919=>2019
political unrest a few year=>YEARS ago.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
|
SSSSSStupendous! Ingenious satire script--I'll be PISSED if this doesn't win. Cheerssssss. LIZ
heads-up: you classified it as humor fiction vs script
The Grim [Reapers=>REAPERS'] specialty field is playing out.
2919=>2019
political unrest a few year=>YEARS ago.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much Elizabeth. I glad you liked my dark humor. I really appreciate the six stars and also the fact that you point out thing that need attention.
Beth
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Beth, you wrote a very innovative and entertaining story. You say you wrote it a few years ago, but it surely fits in better with what we are going through now.
Note:
The (lightning) is>> you mean 'lighting'
2919 >> s/b 2019
Mot: Thanatos' idea (mades) a>> s/b 'makes'
I'll bet those fields (and)>> s/b 'are'
What () you say, we all shake>> What do you say,
Salooon>>Saloon
Ralf
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Beth, you wrote a very innovative and entertaining story. You say you wrote it a few years ago, but it surely fits in better with what we are going through now.
Note:
The (lightning) is>> you mean 'lighting'
2919 >> s/b 2019
Mot: Thanatos' idea (mades) a>> s/b 'makes'
I'll bet those fields (and)>> s/b 'are'
What () you say, we all shake>> What do you say,
Salooon>>Saloon
Ralf
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Ralf. I appreciate the review and the comments and your pointing out spots that need attention. I had to update some of the conversation to make it work better for the things that are happening today.
Beth
Comment from DonandVicki
The script made me chuckle. I can just see these guys sitting around discussing thus. You created a lot of visuals in your script that were fun and believable.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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The script made me chuckle. I can just see these guys sitting around discussing thus. You created a lot of visuals in your script that were fun and believable.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I glad you got a chuckle from my dark humor.
Beth
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Beth
This is clever and creative. Three, now jobless Grim Reapers pondering their future.
The picture is just perfect and compliments your storyline well.
Well done on the dialogue. Even if it is about the grim reaper, it is a fun read.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Beth
This is clever and creative. Three, now jobless Grim Reapers pondering their future.
The picture is just perfect and compliments your storyline well.
Well done on the dialogue. Even if it is about the grim reaper, it is a fun read.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate the review and comment . I glad you enjoyed my dark humor.
Beth
Comment from Begin Again
Oh my, Beth ...The Grim Reaper and not one but three. Playing with fire there girlfriend, they'll be knocking on our doors. Very quick the humor and a joy to read. Good luck with the contest. Smiles to you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Oh my, Beth ...The Grim Reaper and not one but three. Playing with fire there girlfriend, they'll be knocking on our doors. Very quick the humor and a joy to read. Good luck with the contest. Smiles to you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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You are right. I had more fun with the Grim Reapers when I was younger and didn't expect to see them knocking on my door. I better not tempt them.
Beth
Comment from lancellot
Ha, well that a conversation I thought I'd never hear, but I guess even death has its days. But, it's true, there will always be murder, suicide and gangs are always a good source of work for a Grim Reaper.
A well crafted adaptation into a script, and smart entry.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Ha, well that a conversation I thought I'd never hear, but I guess even death has its days. But, it's true, there will always be murder, suicide and gangs are always a good source of work for a Grim Reaper.
A well crafted adaptation into a script, and smart entry.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thanks for the review and comments. Someone said it isn't a good idea to be making fun of them at my age. LOL
Beth
