New Choice of The Grim Reapers
The Grim Reapers' specialty field is playing out.20 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The surrounding sounds ans setting will create the ambiance desired. This is hilarious, eliciting a gallows guffaw: "Mot: (Holding his pink slip up.)" the mention of these things is appalling but needed to be made public: "There are too many devices on the market to prevent pregnancy in the first place. Business has been slow for a while. It's not at all like the days when women took quinine and used coat hangers.' there is so much more to say but this is enough. Good work.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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The surrounding sounds ans setting will create the ambiance desired. This is hilarious, eliciting a gallows guffaw: "Mot: (Holding his pink slip up.)" the mention of these things is appalling but needed to be made public: "There are too many devices on the market to prevent pregnancy in the first place. Business has been slow for a while. It's not at all like the days when women took quinine and used coat hangers.' there is so much more to say but this is enough. Good work.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2024
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Wow! I'd forgotten about even writing that. I had to read it again to remember it. I'm glad you got a laugh.
Beth
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I've had situations like that too where I said 'I wrote this I wonder when I don't remember writing it.' It's kind of fun. It shows that creativity isn't all planned out
Comment from samandlancelot
Beth Shelby,
I like your futuristic story with the grim reapers without any bodies to reap. Their discussion about what to do with their dilemma was entertaining.
Patricia
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Beth Shelby,
I like your futuristic story with the grim reapers without any bodies to reap. Their discussion about what to do with their dilemma was entertaining.
Patricia
Comment Written 20-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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I really appreciate you reading and commenting on this.
Beth
Comment from Mary Furlong
I would call them grin reapers instead of grim reapers. Lots of humor in this, albeit dark humor. Do you write many scripts? I used to write a lot of them for our little theatre.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021
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I would call them grin reapers instead of grim reapers. Lots of humor in this, albeit dark humor. Do you write many scripts? I used to write a lot of them for our little theatre.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021
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Thank you for the review and the comments. I don't I've written but two before this one. They are fun. I might try to do more.
Beth
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Is YamarA?ja correct?
Corona virus should be Coronavirus
In the next to last line "the leave" should be "they leave"
A very interesting idea. When something fizzles out find a new way to keep going.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021
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Is YamarA?ja correct?
Corona virus should be Coronavirus
In the next to last line "the leave" should be "they leave"
A very interesting idea. When something fizzles out find a new way to keep going.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021
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Thank you for the review and for the comment and heads up on the errors which I fixed. The third a should have a line over it in Yamaraja. I don't know how to make it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
LOL. Yep, even grim reapers just have to keep an open mind and something new will come to them. What am I saying? Oh, well, it's fun and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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LOL. Yep, even grim reapers just have to keep an open mind and something new will come to them. What am I saying? Oh, well, it's fun and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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Thank you Ric, I'm glad you got a laugh from this dark humor. I appreciate the review.
Beth
Comment from WalkerMan
This humor script is indeed amusing in places, which is fortunate because the reality behind it is disturbing. You handled it well with sufficient balance. The dialog is plausible for the situation, and the pace of the conversation is realistic. Yes, when one's current field of endeavor fades away, re-education in a rising field makes sense. It is sad that such opportunities for these grim reapers exist (or will exist), but you have created characters that readers can relate to with a degree of compassion. Superb, and aptly illustrated.
Below are easily fixed items not affecting the star rating.
Yama's second turn to speak, s5:
protest since => protest, since
[Use a comma before as, for, or since when it means because (which itself does not take a preceding comma).]
Thanatos's second turn to speak, last sentence:
U.S. Capital building => U.S. Capitol building
[The city is the capital (with "a"), but the building is the Capitol (with "o").]
Mot's third turn to speak:
s1: Thanatos' idea => Thanatos's idea
[Rule 1: A singular name ending in "s" takes apostrophe plus "s" ('s) to form its possessive.]
[Rule 2: Singular Jones becomes plural Joneses; its singular possessive follows Rule 1 (Mr Jones's), while its plural possessive is Joneses' (standard).]
s2: opportunity, and => opportunity; and
[Semicolon Rule: Use a semicolon at main clause break if at least one main clause already includes a comma.]
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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This humor script is indeed amusing in places, which is fortunate because the reality behind it is disturbing. You handled it well with sufficient balance. The dialog is plausible for the situation, and the pace of the conversation is realistic. Yes, when one's current field of endeavor fades away, re-education in a rising field makes sense. It is sad that such opportunities for these grim reapers exist (or will exist), but you have created characters that readers can relate to with a degree of compassion. Superb, and aptly illustrated.
Below are easily fixed items not affecting the star rating.
Yama's second turn to speak, s5:
protest since => protest, since
[Use a comma before as, for, or since when it means because (which itself does not take a preceding comma).]
Thanatos's second turn to speak, last sentence:
U.S. Capital building => U.S. Capitol building
[The city is the capital (with "a"), but the building is the Capitol (with "o").]
Mot's third turn to speak:
s1: Thanatos' idea => Thanatos's idea
[Rule 1: A singular name ending in "s" takes apostrophe plus "s" ('s) to form its possessive.]
[Rule 2: Singular Jones becomes plural Joneses; its singular possessive follows Rule 1 (Mr Jones's), while its plural possessive is Joneses' (standard).]
s2: opportunity, and => opportunity; and
[Semicolon Rule: Use a semicolon at main clause break if at least one main clause already includes a comma.]
Comment Written 17-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and for the help with punctuation. I wasn't aware of the rule concerning a sentence that already had comma's needing a semicolon. I'm glad you told about it. I especially thrilled that you consider my script worthy of six stars. I've not written many scripts.
Beth
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You are most welcome, Beth. Your post earned the sixth star for its creative theme and dialog.
Regarding punctuation, in your reply you meant commas because
the simple plural form of a noun does not include an apostrophe. I mention it to help you avoid that common error in future writing.
The Semicolon Rule applies in a sentence composed of two or more main clauses, each with its own subject and verb, either when there is no coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, yet, so) between the main clauses (Main clause 1; main clause 2.) or when there is a coordinating
conjunction at the main clause break plus at least one comma other than at that clause break. Think of it as a "super-comma" stronger than an ordinary comma. Examples:
A. Main clause 1, containing at least one comma; and main clause 2.
B. Main clause 1; but main clause 2, containing at least one comma.
C. Main clause 1, or main clause 2; but main clause 3.
D. Main clause 1; yet main clause 2, and main clause 3.
In the examples C and D, the semicolon goes at the strongest break because "but" and "yet" indicate stronger breaks than "and" and "or" do.
E. Main clause 1; and main clause 2, containing a comma; so main clause 3.
In example E, both main clause breaks need a semicolon because at least one of those main clauses (here, the second one), contains a comma.
I hope these examples make the Semicolon Rule clearer. -- Mike
Comment from royowen
This sounds like it might be a hit, with all the things going on at the moment, it seems to be set at a future time when all these "jollies" were going on. Your scripts are great Beth, I guess you've not written many, but this is very professional, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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This sounds like it might be a hit, with all the things going on at the moment, it seems to be set at a future time when all these "jollies" were going on. Your scripts are great Beth, I guess you've not written many, but this is very professional, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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No, I've never written enough scripts to get recognized in that category. They are fun and I like a challenge. I try to write more. Thank you so much for the review of my rather dark subject.
Beth
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Excellent job
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Beth, It matters not when you first wrote this, I think it worthy of a sixth star, just because of your imagination.
I do hope you will pick some other stuff out of your closet, and post them too?
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Dear Beth, It matters not when you first wrote this, I think it worthy of a sixth star, just because of your imagination.
I do hope you will pick some other stuff out of your closet, and post them too?
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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I thank you for the stars before I thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I'm so glad you liked it.
Beth
Comment from Mistydawn
What a cute script. It's very well-written, interesting, well thought out. Your dialogue seems realistic. With technology the way it is I'm sure it's something many faces. Not the death part, of course, but losing their jobs, having to figure out a different way. Good luck with your contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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What a cute script. It's very well-written, interesting, well thought out. Your dialogue seems realistic. With technology the way it is I'm sure it's something many faces. Not the death part, of course, but losing their jobs, having to figure out a different way. Good luck with your contest.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you for the review and the nice comments. I hoped you would like my dark humor. The picture inspired me to write this.
Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. I do hear the crime/murder rate in the Woke Cities is still raging due to defunding the police. Maybe they could go there. LOL You are extremely creative. Please keep writing. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry. I do hear the crime/murder rate in the Woke Cities is still raging due to defunding the police. Maybe they could go there. LOL You are extremely creative. Please keep writing. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate the review and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
Beth
