The Two of Me
Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "Chochee's In~Security"Chochee Medina Life and Times
5 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, well it is an interesting story. I can really fell the worry in Chochee and with good reason by discrimination he faced with that security interrogation about his parents.
Structure wise:
Font size and use of bold. It should be consistent through out.
Semicolon vs Colon.
Unneeded quotation marks.
Be careful of length. Scripts usually take up twice the space as prose.
Narrator: you can use one, but don't overuse it in non children tales.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
  |
Hmm, well it is an interesting story. I can really fell the worry in Chochee and with good reason by discrimination he faced with that security interrogation about his parents.
Structure wise:
Font size and use of bold. It should be consistent through out.
Semicolon vs Colon.
Unneeded quotation marks.
Be careful of length. Scripts usually take up twice the space as prose.
Narrator: you can use one, but don't overuse it in non children tales.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
-
Thanks for your Support, Time, to Read, Rate and Review this poem offering. I will note your remarks and revise accordingly. Blessings.
Comment from equestrik
Well, I really enjoyed this script and love how you developed the story and your characters. Thanks for the poitive ending-I was a bit worried as I read. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
|
Well, I really enjoyed this script and love how you developed the story and your characters. Thanks for the poitive ending-I was a bit worried as I read. All the best to you.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for your Support and Time to Read, Rate and Review this script Offering
Comment from T.A. Walk
...many of it's Commercial Aircraft product...
...impacting it's lower seniority...
it's should be its
There are a few other iterations of this throughout, but overall well done. My hang up, for some reason, tends to be cant... Good luck and great job!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
|
...many of it's Commercial Aircraft product...
...impacting it's lower seniority...
it's should be its
There are a few other iterations of this throughout, but overall well done. My hang up, for some reason, tends to be cant... Good luck and great job!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for your Support and Time to Read, Rate and Review this Script Offering. I seem to have trouble remembering when the comma is needed and order for placing punctuation things like end quotes and exclamation points. Thanks again.
Comment from robyn corum
QC,
That was more than a little mean. But I'm glad he got to stay - especially with a pregnant wife. Very cool. I would advise you to go back through slowly and read for places that need editing - small things like misspelled words. I would also suggest not using the bold font. It makes it harder on the eyes.
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
|
QC,
That was more than a little mean. But I'm glad he got to stay - especially with a pregnant wife. Very cool. I would advise you to go back through slowly and read for places that need editing - small things like misspelled words. I would also suggest not using the bold font. It makes it harder on the eyes.
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
-
Thank you For Reading, Rating, and Reviewing. I really was up till dawn for two days and nights trying to get it done and will review again. I do have trouble remembering things like what or when to put end quotes and commas in proper order. Than you very much.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
What a prank, let the guy sweat and think he is going to be lay-off, and the entire time the transfer papers and the piece of mind was right there in that drawer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
|
What a prank, let the guy sweat and think he is going to be lay-off, and the entire time the transfer papers and the piece of mind was right there in that drawer. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
-
Thank you so much for your Support, Time, and Encouragement. Actually he was a pretty cool guy and the reason I eventually felt I could also and did become a supervisor / manager. Blessings