haiku (old ones)
Observing trout.28 total reviews
Comment from Julie Sandy
This is a great haiku, it really captured a moment in a few lines.
The first two lines set the scene and the third line is definitely an ah-ha moment.
Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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This is a great haiku, it really captured a moment in a few lines.
The first two lines set the scene and the third line is definitely an ah-ha moment.
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you Julie!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
haiku (the old ones)
by Chris Chambless
Hello, Chris,
I love your haiku. Fish don't have memory or rational, I'm guessing, but they do have the wisdom to avoid pain.
Good syllables count and connection between lines. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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haiku (the old ones)
by Chris Chambless
Hello, Chris,
I love your haiku. Fish don't have memory or rational, I'm guessing, but they do have the wisdom to avoid pain.
Good syllables count and connection between lines. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you Gypsy! You are a haiku master so I don?t take that lightly.
Arigato gozaimasu!
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Thank you :)
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I like the photo you chose to go with your poem
It is a perfect match You touch my heart and soul after I read your poem. My departed was a fisherman just like you
So I can understand what you were saying on paper.
Take care
Cookie
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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I like the photo you chose to go with your poem
It is a perfect match You touch my heart and soul after I read your poem. My departed was a fisherman just like you
So I can understand what you were saying on paper.
Take care
Cookie
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thanks Miss Cookie!
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It was pleasure' Peace and God be with you
Cookie
Comment from Susan Newell
This haiku is really a metaphor for all species. "Once bitten, twice shy." That's what makes it so terrific, at least in my uneducated opinion. I also like the fact that it shows action (or intentional lack of it), not just observation.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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This haiku is really a metaphor for all species. "Once bitten, twice shy." That's what makes it so terrific, at least in my uneducated opinion. I also like the fact that it shows action (or intentional lack of it), not just observation.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you Susan!
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Lovely haiku poem with deep meanings. You have found secret of old age in your fishing expeditions I think. What I find is that people tend to act like getting older is the worst thing in the world, but it certainly doesn't have to be.Wisdom has value. A lot of it. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Lovely haiku poem with deep meanings. You have found secret of old age in your fishing expeditions I think. What I find is that people tend to act like getting older is the worst thing in the world, but it certainly doesn't have to be.Wisdom has value. A lot of it. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you Seshadri! The older I get the more I understand how wisdom compensates us for fading strength.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I can't say I have read many fishy Haiku's before, and I did not know they were popular. Without the picture, this Haiku could be about anything, I enjoyed the sentiment, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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I can't say I have read many fishy Haiku's before, and I did not know they were popular. Without the picture, this Haiku could be about anything, I enjoyed the sentiment, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thank you Dolly. Maybe I?m one of the only haiku fishermen!
Comment from Michele Harber
If they're all as good as this one, you have nothing to apologize for. This is a very clever poem, with an excellent logical, progression to your brilliant last line.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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If they're all as good as this one, you have nothing to apologize for. This is a very clever poem, with an excellent logical, progression to your brilliant last line.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thanks Michele. I?m happy you enjoyed it!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Blu Rider
I'm no expert in haiku, but I found this one most excellent, with a perfectly executed satori. Very well done.
One small thing, my understanding is that haiku are never capitalised and punctuation is frowned upon. They are also not titled, so 'haiku (the old ones)' would be the generally accepted format for your title here. -Blu
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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I'm no expert in haiku, but I found this one most excellent, with a perfectly executed satori. Very well done.
One small thing, my understanding is that haiku are never capitalised and punctuation is frowned upon. They are also not titled, so 'haiku (the old ones)' would be the generally accepted format for your title here. -Blu
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2021
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Thanks Blu. You are right about the punctuation and titles. I type the capitalization and punctuation in Word; it helps me think (I think). Anyway, I always forget to take it out when I cut and paste. You?ll see it in all my haiku I?m afraid. I?ll have to go back and fix them!
As far as titles go, it was suggested to me by another member that using the standard format reduces the number of readers. Apparently Western eyes are less attracted to unfamiliar strucures. I?ll fix this one and test it.
I also haven?t centered the lines in the space which may or may not be a rule depending on who you ask. I do think it looks better and I did that with my Haibun Contest entry. Will probably go back and change that too.
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Ha, I think this site is ground zero for haiku aficionados so I doubt you'll have a problem getting reviews. I'm gradually working my way through your portfolio - so far I've seen nothing but excellence and exceptionalism. So glad I found your work!
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Thank you Blu. Please let me know if you find anything else you think could be corrected or improved. I really do want to learn and I appreciate the feedback.
