More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Bache Family - 1913-1933"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
35 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is a most eventful, sweeping chapter, covering a long period of time and very informative. What happens to Jack when he's fifteen? It seems that we have another mystery here. I will be curious to read on!
A few suggestions for revisions:
A London Barrister, Peter Allen K.C., a veteran of the Great War ...
-->
A London barrister, Peter Allen K.C., a veteran of the Great War, ...
With the aid of the local Rector,
-->
With the aid of the local rector,
...she had not taken her own life because she was pregnant and unmarried ...
-->
...she had not taken her own life because she was pregnant and unmarried, ...
...mainly because he was neither interested nor proficient at ball games,
-->
...mainly because he was neither interested in, nor proficient at ball games,
I didn't closely proofread your Notes, but noticed the following, just FYI:
Mill Trilogy Time Line Time Line So Far.
-->
Mill Trilogy Time Line So Far:
1895 - Book 1 'Maid of the Mill' opens with flash-backs to earlier dates.
-->
1895 - Book 1 'Maid of the Mill' opens with flashbacks to earlier dates.
1925 - Book 2 'More Grist to the Mill' opens with flashbacks to earlier dates.
***
I was so busy this weekend and missed your promotion, but wanted to review this chapter anyway. It clearly did so well, I'm saving my six for your next chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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This is a most eventful, sweeping chapter, covering a long period of time and very informative. What happens to Jack when he's fifteen? It seems that we have another mystery here. I will be curious to read on!
A few suggestions for revisions:
A London Barrister, Peter Allen K.C., a veteran of the Great War ...
-->
A London barrister, Peter Allen K.C., a veteran of the Great War, ...
With the aid of the local Rector,
-->
With the aid of the local rector,
...she had not taken her own life because she was pregnant and unmarried ...
-->
...she had not taken her own life because she was pregnant and unmarried, ...
...mainly because he was neither interested nor proficient at ball games,
-->
...mainly because he was neither interested in, nor proficient at ball games,
I didn't closely proofread your Notes, but noticed the following, just FYI:
Mill Trilogy Time Line Time Line So Far.
-->
Mill Trilogy Time Line So Far:
1895 - Book 1 'Maid of the Mill' opens with flash-backs to earlier dates.
-->
1895 - Book 1 'Maid of the Mill' opens with flashbacks to earlier dates.
1925 - Book 2 'More Grist to the Mill' opens with flashbacks to earlier dates.
***
I was so busy this weekend and missed your promotion, but wanted to review this chapter anyway. It clearly did so well, I'm saving my six for your next chapter.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing this so thoroughly. I am most grateful for your suggestions.
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You're very welcome, Jim. I'm always happy to do what I can.
Blessings, Mary Kay
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Enjoyed this chapter. Tom and Heather have done well reviving the mill and the farm business. I am enjoying your book, Jim. I am reading, but I am not able to review the way I should, however will keep up and comment. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Enjoyed this chapter. Tom and Heather have done well reviving the mill and the farm business. I am enjoying your book, Jim. I am reading, but I am not able to review the way I should, however will keep up and comment. Nancy:)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for your continued committment to this story despite your current problems. there is really no need for you to apologise.
Comment from Begin Again
Good day to you! I've just come across your story so I'm not truly up to speed, but I did enjoy it. You have done a lot of research and offered information to the reader that they wouldn't normally know or understand. The insight into each character was interesting. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Good day to you! I've just come across your story so I'm not truly up to speed, but I did enjoy it. You have done a lot of research and offered information to the reader that they wouldn't normally know or understand. The insight into each character was interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for deciding to review this. I'm afraid that a lot has gone before, both in Part 1 of this book, and in the first book, 'Maid of the Mill' of this intended trilogy. The time line in the notes forms something of a synopsis of what has gone before, but it is all there in my portfolio if you want to dig deeper.
Thank you so much for this review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Masterful incorporation of backstory--rich dialog rings true-- skillful character development of the twins--somber foreshadowing of Jack's accident (?).
In 1933, Jack's dream was to be shattered at age fifteen
sugg:
In 1933, when he was fifteen, Jack's dream was to be shattered
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Masterful incorporation of backstory--rich dialog rings true-- skillful character development of the twins--somber foreshadowing of Jack's accident (?).
In 1933, Jack's dream was to be shattered at age fifteen
sugg:
In 1933, when he was fifteen, Jack's dream was to be shattered
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for this review including the suggestion.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good image and story to go with it.
-Overall, things are going well as
Jericho Farms because we see how
Heather and Tommy decided they
were right for each other, married, and
had two lovely children.
-Both of them seem very bright
and have their own set of talents.
-Naturally, boys would have an
easier time in society whereas girls
were expected to conform to
society's norms of the day.
-It sounds like Julia will have
a mind of her own so it will
be interesting to see how that
develops, as well as her brother's plans.
-Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
|
-A good image and story to go with it.
-Overall, things are going well as
Jericho Farms because we see how
Heather and Tommy decided they
were right for each other, married, and
had two lovely children.
-Both of them seem very bright
and have their own set of talents.
-Naturally, boys would have an
easier time in society whereas girls
were expected to conform to
society's norms of the day.
-It sounds like Julia will have
a mind of her own so it will
be interesting to see how that
develops, as well as her brother's plans.
-Well done!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for this review picking up on the social developments of the period. I hope it will turn out as interesting as you expect.
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You are very welcome, and I appreciate your reply. I hope it will, too😊
Comment from Carol Clark2
I'm reading the middle of your book before the beginning, but I am able to piece together the plot from your writing and the timeline. I like the way you've written the dialect, not overly done or difficult to understand. Looking forward to reading the next segment.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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I'm reading the middle of your book before the beginning, but I am able to piece together the plot from your writing and the timeline. I like the way you've written the dialect, not overly done or difficult to understand. Looking forward to reading the next segment.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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I am really pleased that you want to go back across the earlier chapters. Many thanks for this review as well.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Gloria ....
As always, Jim a great deal of detail to research, and your writing unfolds at a perfect pace.
What an interesting comment about the children's intelligence, I guess that would take the edge off those schooldays.
Always a fine write from your quarter. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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As always, Jim a great deal of detail to research, and your writing unfolds at a perfect pace.
What an interesting comment about the children's intelligence, I guess that would take the edge off those schooldays.
Always a fine write from your quarter. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for your comments, as usual right on message in this six-star review. It is greatly appreciated.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing Heather and Tommy's story. I was wondering how they got together. You've chosen a very interesting way to share these novels.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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Very interesting. Thank you for sharing Heather and Tommy's story. I was wondering how they got together. You've chosen a very interesting way to share these novels.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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Thank you for this review. I am so pleased you think it works.
Comment from roof35
I am following the new generation with interest. Julia seems to have inherited talents from both parents. Jack will probably go his own way. I'm looking forward to reading about their futures.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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I am following the new generation with interest. Julia seems to have inherited talents from both parents. Jack will probably go his own way. I'm looking forward to reading about their futures.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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They and others you have not yet met will be the ones to take the story forward plus some you have met.
Thank you so much for this six-star review.
Comment from RetroStarfish
You've piqued my interest in the story from the Bache perspective - especially bringing the twins into the mix and, most especially with this line: ... Jack's dream was to be shattered at age fifteen...
Can't wait to read on.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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You've piqued my interest in the story from the Bache perspective - especially bringing the twins into the mix and, most especially with this line: ... Jack's dream was to be shattered at age fifteen...
Can't wait to read on.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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That dream shattering will be revealed next time - Sunday! Many thanks for reviewing.