Comment from Ashlyn Stone

Good

This is an interesting chapter. It seems to flow properly. It is cohesive story line. The grammar and punctuation are correct. I seen no breaks in the story line,

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-May-2021

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reply by the author on 19-May-2021

Thank you so much for your kind review for taking the time to read my chapter. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Take care.

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

I'm glad Toni was able to rescue the girls. I was afraid the men would over power her. I was hoping she would shoot at least one. Well done as always dear.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It did get a little hairy for Toni there for a bit. Her thought was If I go down, I'm taking as many of you as I can with me.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.

Comment from Mia Twysted

Exceptional

I'm riveted. I felt like I was there with her, right beside her. I am left feeling so much for this character. She leads with her heart and feels it when she is to late to help.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for such a fantastic review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, that you were able to relate, have empathy for the character. That in itself means the world to me. Toni is an amazing cop. She truly cares about the people she protects.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to time, take care.

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

I'm glad they caught these guys. They should let me get my hands on them. They'd only be creeping on little kids in their dreams. I'm pretty sure those dreams would become nightmares about halfway through. ' You sure it was the cop's doc' cops doesn't need the apostrophe.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for catching my mistake. I've thought of all kinds of things I'd like to do to these men. The least violent being castration without anesthesia. My most colorful is dangling them over a lion's den. Here kitty, kitty, lol.
Thank you again for all your help, support encouragement, and friendship, It always means the world to me, take care.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Exceptional

So many writers are taught that plot makes a story, which, in my humble opinion, couldn't be farther from the truth. Characters and action are the two main ingredients for keeping the reader engaged, and you do it so well. Thanks for sharing.

He sees a few passersby stare as they stroll by while the majority of the pedestrians (scurries) [scurry] away.
( )-remove [ ]-replace

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for such kind, encouraging praise and for catching my mistake. I'm so glad you continue to enjoy the story. Anna has had to sacrifice a lot, but she's finally free.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a horror story. It is very sad that things like this could happen. I'm sure there are some very evil people in the world. I don't see how any child that has very been subjected to such horror could ever be normal. I would think you'd have nightmare just writing about such crime. Your writing seems very realistic.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for reading my story and for your kind review. It is horrible, what happens to those poor kids. A lot of victims either commit suicide or OD on drugs. I don't have nightmares, but I do have strange dreams. Sometimes I picture me saving the kids other times being the vigilante, getting revenge. Last night I dreamed I adopted a kid
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care..

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

You chapter Saving LIves in your book Where Are All The Children
was well done with the dialogue, the actions, and the out come of how the frighten young girls that were saved. You did well described the the terrible scene of the beaten dead girls.
Gert

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for your encouraging review. I'm so glad you found it so realistic, believable. Toni was able to get a few off the street, but for every one that's jailed another takes their place.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means so much to me, take care.

reply by Gert sherwood on 07-Mar-2021

You are most welcome Mistydawn
Gert


Gert

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

O Misty, this is heartbreaking and heart stopping, both at the same time. How can people be so evil, abusing small children like that. It happens every day all over the world and most of us close our minds to it. It breaks my heart. A very suspenseful chapter. Now what? Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for such a fantastic review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Traffickers are cold, heartless jerks sees the girls as commodities and not human beings. Maybe that's how they justify their cruel acts are able to live with themselves. I think corporal punishment is being too kind that they should all suffer a long agonizing death.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.

Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

Hello Mistydawn.

Writing a story like this one will not have many happy moments. Unfortunately, finding bodies around these horrible places and people are not uncommon. The children are used and discarded like rubbish. The criminals should be shown no mercy.

A tip on names in the story: In this sentence the names are similar.
"Jamal turns towards Jarrad" Think of using different letters beginning the name of each character. It helps prevent confusion. You don't want the reader to think which is which later in the story.

Suggestion: "Her heart sinks "to" her stomach. Use "into" here. It is more graphic.

A few weeks ago I mentioned to you the Cartels are involved in trafficking along the border. Biden's words has gotten that into high gear now. People are coming across with wristbands. The cartels are using these to keep track of the "inventory." (the people being trafficked) I've read multiple articles about it.

Robert

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for reading my story and for your suggestions. Jarrad is now Harry. So they're being herded like cattle high tech style. With what I've read it doesn't surprise me a bit. They only see the girls as money makers. Not human beings. Have you seen some of the videos about Biden getting touchy feely? It was like he couldn't help himself.

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

This is the first chapter of the series that I've read. I'm glad it is written in a way that a first time reader, coming in the middle, can understand what has been going on. The story is riveting and flows smoothly to a satisfying conclusion. I am looking forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021

Thank you so much for such a warm review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, was able to understand what was going on. A little back story, Anna was sex trafficked at the age of 10, moved to a work camp 4 years later where she met Alejandro had a premature son Alex. Their handler wanted to sell the baby on the black market Alejando stopped them.
Thank you again for reading my chapter your support is always greatly appreciated, take care.