Melting Away
Every unkind act strips away a bit of self-esteem15 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Melting Away, uses all the required words and presence what reads like both a sufferer and a witness losing what is left of their humanity.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
  |
This poem, Melting Away, uses all the required words and presence what reads like both a sufferer and a witness losing what is left of their humanity.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
-
Thank you. I appreciate your interpretation and your comments. Hugs.
Comment from lyenochka
Very well done. You give us a scene that moves us emotionally as we see this child. We don't know what happened; perhaps he was bullied. But we see how his "confidence is melting away." Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
|
Very well done. You give us a scene that moves us emotionally as we see this child. We don't know what happened; perhaps he was bullied. But we see how his "confidence is melting away." Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
-
Thank you. I appreciate your insightful comments. Hugs.
Comment from Wendy G
An interesting and different poem using the required words. I like the image of the boy's confidence melting like a dripping ice-cream cone. Good wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
|
An interesting and different poem using the required words. I like the image of the boy's confidence melting like a dripping ice-cream cone. Good wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
-
Thank you. Your comments are humbly appreciated. Hugs.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ah, the embracement's of childhood, that leaves a mark on our heart: "Peering out from my hiding place,
The smell of humiliation in the air,
I watched the boy in the green shirt,
Shivering in the mud,
Confidence melting away
Like my untouched ice cream cone
Dripping onto the pavement." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
Ah, the embracement's of childhood, that leaves a mark on our heart: "Peering out from my hiding place,
The smell of humiliation in the air,
I watched the boy in the green shirt,
Shivering in the mud,
Confidence melting away
Like my untouched ice cream cone
Dripping onto the pavement." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. :-) Hugs.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Melting Away
Hello, anonymous,
I hate when that happens....is a waste of yummy icecream :)
Good entry for the Use These Words writing prompt contest.
Your poem flows well. The structure makes sense.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
Melting Away
Hello, anonymous,
I hate when that happens....is a waste of yummy icecream :)
Good entry for the Use These Words writing prompt contest.
Your poem flows well. The structure makes sense.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for your review and comments. Hugs.
Comment from equestrik
I think the picture and the idea of your writing a paired well. I have to admit, though that I feel a bit lost in understanding this write. The child did not seem connected to the viewer.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
I think the picture and the idea of your writing a paired well. I have to admit, though that I feel a bit lost in understanding this write. The child did not seem connected to the viewer.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
All bystanders of bullying are connected because they are bystanders. Research says that bystanders can be just as affected by bullying than the victim and the bully. I hope that helps to increase your understanding. Thank you for reviewing my work. Hugs.
-
With that explanation, it sheds light on your presentation, I have changed to 5 stars.
Comment from Earl Corp
I think this poem Melting Away is a great entry into the Use these Words Poetry Contest. The only recommendation I have is you might bold the words required in the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
I think this poem Melting Away is a great entry into the Use these Words Poetry Contest. The only recommendation I have is you might bold the words required in the prompt. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you. That is a very good suggestion, but I do not know how to bold my text. Hugs.
-
Use the advanced editor option.
Comment from PENofFIRE
Oh my goodness what a story your poem tells. You did a great meeting the criteria. You took those six words and painted such a sad story I felt the pain of a lost soul. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
Oh my goodness what a story your poem tells. You did a great meeting the criteria. You took those six words and painted such a sad story I felt the pain of a lost soul. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you so much. Your kind and complementary review is humbly appreciated. Hugs.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You paused a moment in time here as someone's self esteem has been torn away and their heart melts like an ice cream cone, an unusual write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
|
You paused a moment in time here as someone's self esteem has been torn away and their heart melts like an ice cream cone, an unusual write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. It's appreciated. Hugs.
Comment from Boogienights
This is a powerful poem that speaks of a child's sadness, witnessed by another who, no doubt, doesn't understand. Or perhaps they do. An interesting and thought provoking poem. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2021
|
This is a powerful poem that speaks of a child's sadness, witnessed by another who, no doubt, doesn't understand. Or perhaps they do. An interesting and thought provoking poem. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2021
-
Thank you for the review and complementary comments. Much appreciated. Hugs.