Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

I persevered with this but I'm clearly not in the right mood to grab enough of a metaphor out of it to feel it satisfies me as a poem. Stars for original thinking and for challenging the reader rather than dishing up cliche.
I'm aware that my response connects more with the title. Hissing makes me think of snakes - I'd probably try to run in opposite directions and stand rooted to the spot, getting nowhere. Gee, I found a metaphor.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021

I have lots of hissing cars around here, but not any snakes that ever seen. Well, maybe that weird mechanic down at the gas station, but I don't think he counts. No, really--I don't think he can count! Anyway, sometimes I'll read a poem and it just won't strike me as even being a poem, so I get what you're saying.

I watched the House pass the COVID Relief bill late Friday night. There was "debate" before the vote; hurried one or two minute speeches between the two parties, one after the other, hissing at each other as they passed back and forth.

I was taught that if we hurry through life, in a fog, without listening to His word, singing our own songs, we move further from God.

Sometimes I get ideas in my head, half-thawed, still dripping; they race around in my mind, going this way and that until it feels like I've spent hours with nothing to show for it.

Thank you, Lisa. I really appreciate your comments.

reply by LisaMay on 28-Feb-2021

In your words, I did pause for a while and ponder the hyphen, realising it made His and sing, so your poem did work at slowing me down to think about Him for a while.

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

You have rightly made use of metaphors, theme is appealing to the readers, words chosen and used in this 15 Syllable Poem make sound and build a good imagery; best of luck. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021

Thank you, Alcreator. I'm so glad this caught your eye enough to read and comment.

Comment from Yohani

Excellent

Great little poem and picture to go along with it. The rain is always so peaceful and calming and the poem makes the reader image being in the moment.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021

Hello, Yohani. Thank you for reading and commenting, and for finding a peaceful moment while you read my poem.

Comment from Susan Newell

Exceptional

You nailed this for cleverness. I like the idea of the rain on the road creating a hissing sound, and the double entendre meaning cars can be passing headed in the same or opposite direction. I love it when word arrangements can convey multiple meanings. That takes a true wordsmith. Pause . . . applause. Damn, you are a tough competitor!

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021

Thank you, Susan, for all these beautiful stars!

I ran track in high school, back in the Neanderthal days when the track coach would smoke while watching us train. (It was healthy back then, like getting a tan.) One of his "things" was that when we trained, we should never run alone. Always have someone run with you, he'd say. Take turns running behind each other, pushing each other. If you run by yourself, you'll ease off, you won't look for ways to improve, you'll ignore the little details that will help you apart in a race.

Thanks for jogging with this Neanderthal!

reply by Susan Newell on 28-Feb-2021

You are welcome. Thank you for writing something worth reading.