Shaken, not Stirred
Tyburn8 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao mystery poet .. you have your first vote..
There was some competition but I fancied your poem ultimately.
I'm not a big fan of 007 but I do think the adjectives you chose work well with the Bond character.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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Ciao mystery poet .. you have your first vote..
There was some competition but I fancied your poem ultimately.
I'm not a big fan of 007 but I do think the adjectives you chose work well with the Bond character.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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Thanks for your review. I've always been a Bond fan, especially the older ones.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and
presentation.
-A good topic and
descriptive words
for 007!.
-You capture the spirit
of the character very well
in the closing lines.
-He is a very enduring character.
-A good entry; good luck.
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-Good artwork and
presentation.
-A good topic and
descriptive words
for 007!.
-You capture the spirit
of the character very well
in the closing lines.
-He is a very enduring character.
-A good entry; good luck.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
Comment from Mands
This made me smile, you have picked a great choice of words. The poem flows really well and the last two lines are very apt. A fitting tribute to 007. I loved it. :-)
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This made me smile, you have picked a great choice of words. The poem flows really well and the last two lines are very apt. A fitting tribute to 007. I loved it. :-)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
Comment from Goodadvicechan
This poem meets the requirement of 2,2,2,2,9,9 poetry.
The words chosen to meet this requirement is excellent. It tells the story of 007. What a beautiful poem about James Bond.
Thank you for sharing. Great piece of writing.
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This poem meets the requirement of 2,2,2,2,9,9 poetry.
The words chosen to meet this requirement is excellent. It tells the story of 007. What a beautiful poem about James Bond.
Thank you for sharing. Great piece of writing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. I like that you have written a poem about James Bond. Interesting poetry. Excellent work! Best wishes in the contest!
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. I like that you have written a poem about James Bond. Interesting poetry. Excellent work! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
Comment from LisaMay
Unfortunately, even though this is quite a good poem, it fails to follow the contest requirements as your words (except nation) are not 2-syllable ones. How come you haven't followed the instructions? Your last 2 lines don't either. Your poem requires major modification or will no doubt be disqualified.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Unfortunately, even though this is quite a good poem, it fails to follow the contest requirements as your words (except nation) are not 2-syllable ones. How come you haven't followed the instructions? Your last 2 lines don't either. Your poem requires major modification or will no doubt be disqualified.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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I have just rewritten the poem entirely. Give it another look.
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Still needs work. Contest says first 4 lines must rhyme, so that means your 4 words should all end in either "...ying" or "...exy" or some other group of 4 rhyming words. It's quite hard to choose 4 rhyming 2-syllable descriptive words.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your poem provides great imagery. However, the example of Tyburn poetry given in the announcement of the contest shows a poem with two syllable words in the first four lines. This is the example given by the contest creators.
Sowing (2 syllables)
Hoeing (2 syllables)
Growing (2 syllables)
Mowing (2 syllables)
The final two lines have 9 syllables each, as your poem has. You may want to review your first four lines to count the syllables in your first four words. (celebration is 4 syllables) I'm awarding 5 stars because the idea and rhyming are good.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Your poem provides great imagery. However, the example of Tyburn poetry given in the announcement of the contest shows a poem with two syllable words in the first four lines. This is the example given by the contest creators.
Sowing (2 syllables)
Hoeing (2 syllables)
Growing (2 syllables)
Mowing (2 syllables)
The final two lines have 9 syllables each, as your poem has. You may want to review your first four lines to count the syllables in your first four words. (celebration is 4 syllables) I'm awarding 5 stars because the idea and rhyming are good.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thanks for the review. I realised the mistake as soon as I posted it. Will go back and redo the whole thing before the contest closes.
Comment from Susan Newell
What a good job you did rhyming the last two lines with the first four. I don't know for sure, but that may get you "extra credit." I'm glad you chose not to use "ing" or "ly" words.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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What a good job you did rhyming the last two lines with the first four. I don't know for sure, but that may get you "extra credit." I'm glad you chose not to use "ing" or "ly" words.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thanks for your review. However, I just realisex the syllable count is wrong. Watch this space for a complete redo.
