Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Football Chapter 11 part 3"
A mother faces life's struggles.

29 total reviews 
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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What a bizarre life Katherine had....her last husband was sure a roaming around fellow. It's a wonder why she stayed with him as he led such a double life...and he never was a family man. Sad!

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2021


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2021
    George is NOT a good person, we will soon discover.
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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Ah, so now we know that the deceased husband was mo prince. Romance is moving along. And I've experienced some Texas storms so thats very realistic. I may have jumped into a few arms, as i remember.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
    LOL Texas storms can be brutal. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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Well you validated Katherine's reluctance to get into relationships, as she relates the story of how she used to live as a trophy wife in a dysfunctional relationship. But we see her slowly falling into the arms of Gabriel, and he is seemingly this great guy who cares about her kid. The warm, emotional dialogue really moves this along. Also some nice flashes of the lightning as the storm moves over them, I think you set that scene well as they grope around in the dark for the candles. Very realistic. estory

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. We will learn more about George as the story continues.
Comment from paleface
Needs Improvement
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an work of art from a true artist thoughts. Written beautifully and played out excellent, will be outstanding to fill two hardcovers with. Great job

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
    This is a 5 review, but you only gave me 2 stars. Is it a mistake? If not, please inform me what I need to correct to bring this up to a 5 level.
reply by judiverse on 25-Feb-2021
Comment from Jimmy Hogg
Excellent
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Thanks for sharing this. I'm not entirely sure if the title works, and I don't know enough about the story as a whole to suggest an alternative. Something to consider.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    The title doesn't work!! I am sure of it. I just haven't come up with a title, yet and just threw this one on it. LOL I'm still waiting for the right title. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Jimmy Hogg on 23-Feb-2021
    Yeah, titles are tough. The right one will present itself I'm sure!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    I'm hoping so. The ones I've looked at when I googled them there was already tons of novels with similar titles.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Barb
First if there were error I didn't see any.
I got so involved reading what happened after the light went off. I smiled when I read-- when--
Gabriel took Katherine's hand. "I don't want you getting lost. "
and loved this--
when Gabriel his arms circled Katherine After her breathing returned to normal.
To me it sounds like a nice relationship is going to happen
Gert

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    I think it will be a nice relationship, if we can get these two together. LOL Thank you.
reply by Gert sherwood on 23-Feb-2021
    Yes, lets get started making a romance going between Katherine and Gabriel.
    Gert
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Haha! Gabriel is such a character and caring at the same time it's hilarious. Who doesn't get scared of some thunder and lighting every now and then? This was the perfect storm (Ha! No pun intended.) for Katherine and Gabriel to be together alone. I'm very excited to see where this is heading. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    Thank you for your enthusiasm. I appreciate it.
reply by AJ McCall on 23-Feb-2021
    You're welcome!!!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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The missing in action husband seems a real jerk: "After folding her hands in her lap, she added, "The boys were pictures in his wallet he'd show off. My purpose," she glanced at a photo on the fireplace hearth, "he'd have a dress sent to the penthouse for an appointed dinner engagement. He'd even hire a babysitter. Most of the time, he'd send a taxi. I'd meet him there and enter on his arm."

"A trophy wife."" Thank you for sharing, I think your novel it comes up nicely:)

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the encouragement. More about George will be coming up, SLOWLY!!
Comment from RShipp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

("The boys were pictures in his wallet he'd show off. My purpose," she glanced at a photo on the fireplace hearth, "he'd have a dress sent to the penthouse for an appointed dinner engagement. He'd even hire a babysitter. Most of the time, he'd send a taxi. I'd meet him there and enter on his arm.") What a concrete way to describe this relationship!

Enjoying the story. A good read.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Yes, it works. I was wondering yesterday if I had missed a chapter! Again, it flows well and with realism (I know I am repeating myself, but it does, and I don't have suggestions for improvement, as I like your easy style.) Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.