Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Betrayal Chapter 22"In the title.
45 total reviews
Comment from DSchlosser
Grant's definitely got it bad for Tania with him being so close, even though he's known her for such a short time. Tania doesn't seem to have many friends other than him and Monica coming in to pay a visit. I wonder if that's due to her personality.
A great chapter with no errors that I could find throughout the writing!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
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Grant's definitely got it bad for Tania with him being so close, even though he's known her for such a short time. Tania doesn't seem to have many friends other than him and Monica coming in to pay a visit. I wonder if that's due to her personality.
A great chapter with no errors that I could find throughout the writing!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
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Yes, Grant's feelings are coming to the fore, and Tania is coming around. Yes, she has friends, I introduced one in a previous part, but, now you've mentioned it, I think I'll add a paragraph about all her friends popping in. Good point there, my friend. Thank you so much for this lovely, most helpful review. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
So glad that Tania is improving in your story. The story is fiction but it is so good. I'm glad that friends were there to help her get through this ordeal and was found in time.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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So glad that Tania is improving in your story. The story is fiction but it is so good. I'm glad that friends were there to help her get through this ordeal and was found in time.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2021
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Yes, Tania is quite resilient and with friends like Monica to be there for her, she'll be fine. But things are going on that she doesn't know about as you will find out. Thanks, my friend. I really treasure your reviews. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from DeboraDyess
I don't think I signed off a minute ago...How RUDE! Sorry 'bout that ... lol
quivering sliver of light -- wonderful phrase
What type of person does that to a woman >> I'd leave off 'to a woman. After all, what type of person does that to anyone?
love 'honey-child'! I call my kids that all the time!
Monica and Grant waited until >> New paragraph
That he'd become so embittered and distrusting of the women he met, was unacceptable. >> Comma again. :) No comma between subject and verb.
The following morning >> YOu've had such a focus on Grant that it feels weird to suddenly be on MOnica. MIght Grant awaken as she steps (or bounces) in, surprised that it was already morning? Might be a smoother transition.
When a person has been through this type of trauma, they sometimes prefer not to remember, and have been known to bury it for years. >> YOu just stepped out of thee book to do an editorial. Let the doctors say that to him, let him know that, etc. Don't tell the reader.
My oldest girlposted on FB the other day that we don't call the police -- we call the family. There's some truth in that. I shudder to think what my men would do if this happened to one of my girls. Yikes! They're wonderful guys but certainly know how to be hard when they need to be. Grant kind of reminded me of them as he took care of business with Collin in the previous chapter, and again here as he was so gentle. Well done.
I'm hurrying! I"m hurrying! lol
Deb
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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I don't think I signed off a minute ago...How RUDE! Sorry 'bout that ... lol
quivering sliver of light -- wonderful phrase
What type of person does that to a woman >> I'd leave off 'to a woman. After all, what type of person does that to anyone?
love 'honey-child'! I call my kids that all the time!
Monica and Grant waited until >> New paragraph
That he'd become so embittered and distrusting of the women he met, was unacceptable. >> Comma again. :) No comma between subject and verb.
The following morning >> YOu've had such a focus on Grant that it feels weird to suddenly be on MOnica. MIght Grant awaken as she steps (or bounces) in, surprised that it was already morning? Might be a smoother transition.
When a person has been through this type of trauma, they sometimes prefer not to remember, and have been known to bury it for years. >> YOu just stepped out of thee book to do an editorial. Let the doctors say that to him, let him know that, etc. Don't tell the reader.
My oldest girlposted on FB the other day that we don't call the police -- we call the family. There's some truth in that. I shudder to think what my men would do if this happened to one of my girls. Yikes! They're wonderful guys but certainly know how to be hard when they need to be. Grant kind of reminded me of them as he took care of business with Collin in the previous chapter, and again here as he was so gentle. Well done.
I'm hurrying! I"m hurrying! lol
Deb
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Comment Written 05-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2021
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I've just copied and pasted this over to my MS Word doc, and will do the edits on there. I can't thank you enough, Debs, for all your kind help. This book had to have 50,000 words for a publisher I'm sending it to, so I'll be doing some more edits. BUT at the same time I'm going to keep the unabridged version which will have more so that if (when) it gets rejected, I'll self-publish it myself. Your help has been amazing! It has boosted my chances, but I'll still not build my hopes up too high. Thank you, dear friend. Humungous hugs! Sandra. xxx
Oh! Please don't worry about being a Comma Nazi!!!!
Comment from Begin Again
The pain and mental destruction to her mind and body....how horrible to endure but then to relive it again and again. Hopefully Grant helps here heal smiles
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The pain and mental destruction to her mind and body....how horrible to endure but then to relive it again and again. Hopefully Grant helps here heal smiles
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
Comment from tfawcus
Another superb chapter, Sandra, both in terms of Grant's character development and the realistic hospital scene. Tania's injuries were serious, and you've given due emphasis to that in the way you have described her reactions to the pain and Grant's and Monika's concern.
There are just a couple of things that struck me.
What type of person does that to a woman? (I wondered if this might come better from one of the characters rather than from the narrator).
Whatever had to be done, he'd foot the bill. Thankfully, there would be no lasting physical damage. (If this is Grant thinking, should it be in italics for consistency?)
Looking forward to reading the next part!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021
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Another superb chapter, Sandra, both in terms of Grant's character development and the realistic hospital scene. Tania's injuries were serious, and you've given due emphasis to that in the way you have described her reactions to the pain and Grant's and Monika's concern.
There are just a couple of things that struck me.
What type of person does that to a woman? (I wondered if this might come better from one of the characters rather than from the narrator).
Whatever had to be done, he'd foot the bill. Thankfully, there would be no lasting physical damage. (If this is Grant thinking, should it be in italics for consistency?)
Looking forward to reading the next part!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021
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Oh, thank goodness you spotted that, Tony! Yes, to both of those being thoughts and should be in italics. I'll need to change the way that Monica's part comes over and make it her thoughts, and Grant's definitely should be in italics. I'll have to change those on my MS Word copy, too.
You always give me such encouraging reviews, and your comments leave me with the biggest smile on my face. Thank you so very much for this one, and the lovely six stars as well. What a wonderful way to start the day. Sending you a humongous hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
I think Grant is sweet on Tania. I'm glad he's changed his ways. He was a bit of an asshole in the beginning. Guess I can't blame him too much, with that awful mother. I think Tania will be good for him.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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I think Grant is sweet on Tania. I'm glad he's changed his ways. He was a bit of an asshole in the beginning. Guess I can't blame him too much, with that awful mother. I think Tania will be good for him.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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Hi Cindy, I think you might be right about Grant. But both of them have to get rid of the bad baggage they've had to deal with. More of what Grant has had to deal with is in the next part.
Thank you so much for reading this part, I'm just sorry you missed out on the payment. But, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Sanku
Poor Tanya. The trauma will take some time to lessen. Meanwhile she has the protection of Grant and the steadfast friendship and kinship with Monica.It was a touching chapter...
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Poor Tanya. The trauma will take some time to lessen. Meanwhile she has the protection of Grant and the steadfast friendship and kinship with Monica.It was a touching chapter...
Comment Written 26-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Sanku, for another lovely review. I'm sorry you missed out on the payment, though. I'm really pleased you liked this part. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Could not come to the site in time. My 88 year old mother lives with me an sometimes it is difficult to take time to come to the site.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter in betrayal.
Nice to see Tonia getting some help and care,
but I think this only a lull before the next storm,
Colin and his mom, er... mum and her lawyers.
Grant sure is a bossy guy, isn't he?
But I think the emotional part is the key.
Well done.
Best wishes to all.
Robert
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter in betrayal.
Nice to see Tonia getting some help and care,
but I think this only a lull before the next storm,
Colin and his mom, er... mum and her lawyers.
Grant sure is a bossy guy, isn't he?
But I think the emotional part is the key.
Well done.
Best wishes to all.
Robert
Comment Written 25-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Thank you so very much, Robert. There is more to come, some good, some not so, but what they are....
Thank you for the shiny six stars, and another lovely review. I really appreciated both. Have a lovely day, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sandra.
Since Tania is finally safe, it appears that she and Grant will be exploring personal issues. The problem now still is the trauma for her so she will be preoccupied with that. She was really badly injured. She came very close to dying.
One comment in the story made an impression with me is when you refer to her looking with her "one good eye." That is a strong statement about the amount of damage done to her during the captivity.
Now being reunited with Monica and Grant, I guess the emotional experiences will be explored more. I will just say again, that I referred to a budding romance between Grant and Tania very early in the story. I still believe I'm right.
Robert
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Hello Sandra.
Since Tania is finally safe, it appears that she and Grant will be exploring personal issues. The problem now still is the trauma for her so she will be preoccupied with that. She was really badly injured. She came very close to dying.
One comment in the story made an impression with me is when you refer to her looking with her "one good eye." That is a strong statement about the amount of damage done to her during the captivity.
Now being reunited with Monica and Grant, I guess the emotional experiences will be explored more. I will just say again, that I referred to a budding romance between Grant and Tania very early in the story. I still believe I'm right.
Robert
Comment Written 25-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for your lovely review and continued support of my book, Robert. Tania is a strong woman but what she has been through will have affected her emotionally. Romance! Lol, now you really didn't think I was going to tell you, did you?? You'll have to wait and see. Lol. Thank you, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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You're very welcome Sandra.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Well done as always. Didn't see a single error. =] Glad Tania is safe and in the hospital and hoping Colin gets life for attempted murder and kidnapping. Bad man!! Looking forward to the next.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Well done as always. Didn't see a single error. =] Glad Tania is safe and in the hospital and hoping Colin gets life for attempted murder and kidnapping. Bad man!! Looking forward to the next.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Rox. Yes, it seemed to take a long time but it wasn't really. But there was enough time for Colin to hurt Tania. Now to see how well it's going to go now he's out the way... we hope. :)) Have a lovely day, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx