Don't Laugh At Me!
Adults like to tell the cute things their kids say and do.17 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
What a cute story told from a child's POV. What fun that you saw things differently from others. That's probably why you write. Best of luck with this in the 350 words contest.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
  |
What a cute story told from a child's POV. What fun that you saw things differently from others. That's probably why you write. Best of luck with this in the 350 words contest.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
-
Thankyou os much for the review and contest.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a cute story, something different. It's interesting how this boy is learning about nature through his explorations in his own back yard. It's too bad that he is embarrassed by his mother's mirth.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
This is a cute story, something different. It's interesting how this boy is learning about nature through his explorations in his own back yard. It's too bad that he is embarrassed by his mother's mirth.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank for the review and comments. My mom embarrassed me by telling others what I said. but no lasting damage. She meant well.
Comment from equestrik
I am sure that language presents many confusing and frustrating moments and experiences for children. It is amazing that we ever get it all sorted out. This is a cute write.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
I am sure that language presents many confusing and frustrating moments and experiences for children. It is amazing that we ever get it all sorted out. This is a cute write.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Peeves
A heartfelt piece; the innocence of an inquisitive young explorer, betrayed left with a distrust in her own mother. A beautifully crafted poem. Good luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
A heartfelt piece; the innocence of an inquisitive young explorer, betrayed left with a distrust in her own mother. A beautifully crafted poem. Good luck on the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
THank ;you so much. I really appreciate the review and comments.
-
You are welcome...look forward to seeing more of your work.
Comment from Susan Larson
Some times we have a teaching moment, but sometimes we can go too far. I think it's cute that the little girl thought the praying mantis was a little green man. And they do take on a praying pose. Cute story!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
Some times we have a teaching moment, but sometimes we can go too far. I think it's cute that the little girl thought the praying mantis was a little green man. And they do take on a praying pose. Cute story!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank you so much for the review and moments. I was a naive child. I believed in fairies so why not little green men.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is adorable! I don't know if this is an actual childhood memory, or based on one, or on a dialogue with one of your family members, but it's very believable, and oh so cute! It's so true that adults love to share these stories, and yet it's so easily misinterpreted by their children.
I found some errors:
I usually played ourside.
-->
I usually played outside.
If Mom could spare a minute she'd come when I call.
-->
If Mom could spare a minute she'd come when I called.
He's green, and he has long stick legs ...
-->
he's green, and he has long stick legs ...
and he's rubbing his hands to gether.
-->
and he's rubbing his hands together.
What is praying for?
-->
What is he praying for? [If that's what you meant]
"Not that kind of "pray" He 's looking for prey.
-->
"Not that kind of "pray." He's looking for prey.
She thinks I'm the stupid. Mama's gonna' tell everybody ...
-->
She thinks I'm stupid. Mama's gonna tell everybody ...
***
You found just the right illustration!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
This is adorable! I don't know if this is an actual childhood memory, or based on one, or on a dialogue with one of your family members, but it's very believable, and oh so cute! It's so true that adults love to share these stories, and yet it's so easily misinterpreted by their children.
I found some errors:
I usually played ourside.
-->
I usually played outside.
If Mom could spare a minute she'd come when I call.
-->
If Mom could spare a minute she'd come when I called.
He's green, and he has long stick legs ...
-->
he's green, and he has long stick legs ...
and he's rubbing his hands to gether.
-->
and he's rubbing his hands together.
What is praying for?
-->
What is he praying for? [If that's what you meant]
"Not that kind of "pray" He 's looking for prey.
-->
"Not that kind of "pray." He's looking for prey.
She thinks I'm the stupid. Mama's gonna' tell everybody ...
-->
She thinks I'm stupid. Mama's gonna tell everybody ...
***
You found just the right illustration!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review. It was shorter and I was on my way to bed, when FanStory told me I didn't have enough words. I had to add and 165 words. I added words without reading it, and went to bed. I caught most these errors the next day. Thanks for pointing them out.
-
You're very welcome, Beth. I'm sorry you didn't win, it was a great story. There are usually a lot of good stories, with a contest like this. I seem to have missed the voting -- I rarely get the timing right. Your story had so much cuteness ;-)
Comment from cupa tea
You have alot of little mistakes you might wanna fix before your piece gets read by lots of folks. I'm not sure why you have some pieces in bold. But you do...However, it is a very cute little story...I've always been kinda scared of that insect...I encountered one as a child...
I was an only child left to (my delete) come up with my own entertainment.
I usually played ourside (outside)
Sometime(s) there were things that I'd never seen before,
I lead her to the tree and point(ed)
What is (it or he) praying for?
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
You have alot of little mistakes you might wanna fix before your piece gets read by lots of folks. I'm not sure why you have some pieces in bold. But you do...However, it is a very cute little story...I've always been kinda scared of that insect...I encountered one as a child...
I was an only child left to (my delete) come up with my own entertainment.
I usually played ourside (outside)
Sometime(s) there were things that I'd never seen before,
I lead her to the tree and point(ed)
What is (it or he) praying for?
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank you so much for the review. All those error occurred late at night. I was half asleep when FanStory informed me that I needed to add 164 words. I didn't realize it had to be exactly 350 words. I caught most of them next morning when I read what I'd written, but thanks for pointing them out. I appreciate the review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I find this to be a sad story. I wonder if I'm alone in this? I'll tell you why. Children often know that they are out of synch with the adult world, but they can't quite work out why. They are permanently running to catch up, and hate having these attempts exposed to grown-ups. A wise parent manages to keep their tongue in check.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
I find this to be a sad story. I wonder if I'm alone in this? I'll tell you why. Children often know that they are out of synch with the adult world, but they can't quite work out why. They are permanently running to catch up, and hate having these attempts exposed to grown-ups. A wise parent manages to keep their tongue in check.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Than ;you for the review and comments. i'd didn't mean to make the story sound sad. My mom was proud of me and I knew it, but I didn't like her telling people anything I did. As and only child, I was her favorite subject to talk about. She wasn't being mean. Actually I'm thankful she was mother. Talking to much was her main flaw. LOL
Comment from Wendy G
A lovely story but in some ways sad. Your mother had too little time for you to explain things, and thought you were stupid, but you were just a little one needing to explore and learn about your world. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
|
A lovely story but in some ways sad. Your mother had too little time for you to explain things, and thought you were stupid, but you were just a little one needing to explore and learn about your world. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
-
Thank you for the review and comment. Children often get the wrong idea when people laugh. My mom meant no harm. If I said something funny, she just had to share it with someone. I've done it myself, but not where my child could hear.
Comment from Rikki66
A child of today all about him. Mama needs to sit him down and explain that American has many words that sound alike but mean something different; she should then explain that as he grows he will hear others speaking English that sounds nothing like American.
Very good.
RikkiLXVI
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
|
A child of today all about him. Mama needs to sit him down and explain that American has many words that sound alike but mean something different; she should then explain that as he grows he will hear others speaking English that sounds nothing like American.
Very good.
RikkiLXVI
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
-
Thank you Rikki, I appreciate the review and comments.
-
You are most welcome.
-
My pleasure to read.
