Demons Defy
Ire flies when...13 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Ninety-two lines of narrative verse in quatrains of predominantly ballad metre here, so my first question is why depart from that in stanzas 12 and 14? I thought it might be because these stanzas gave the rules but so did number 13 and that resorted to ballad metre once more.
In Stanza 21 you use 'did' twice. It would be more in line with modern practice if you found some other way of staying with the metre.
Well done to maintain your rhyme scheme and metre for the bulk of the poem, so much is written these days without proper regard for for those.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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Ninety-two lines of narrative verse in quatrains of predominantly ballad metre here, so my first question is why depart from that in stanzas 12 and 14? I thought it might be because these stanzas gave the rules but so did number 13 and that resorted to ballad metre once more.
In Stanza 21 you use 'did' twice. It would be more in line with modern practice if you found some other way of staying with the metre.
Well done to maintain your rhyme scheme and metre for the bulk of the poem, so much is written these days without proper regard for for those.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem and for these great suggestions. To be honest, I've never been a student of the technical aspects of poetry, although I know many are. I'd definitely like to learn. Thanks again. :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I think this stanza says it all: "Now let's be fair," the Devil said,
"I thought we had a deal,
and you should carry through with it,
no matter how you feel."" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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I think this stanza says it all: "Now let's be fair," the Devil said,
"I thought we had a deal,
and you should carry through with it,
no matter how you feel."" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem. :)
Comment from Sally Law
This is just wonderful post depicting the demon world very well. It may be too scary for someone to contemplate this, but I believe that it's true, and that they fight with the good angels of God.
Thank you for sharing this and I wish you all the best in the contest. It looks like a win to me. Sending my best today and always, Sally Xo
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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This is just wonderful post depicting the demon world very well. It may be too scary for someone to contemplate this, but I believe that it's true, and that they fight with the good angels of God.
Thank you for sharing this and I wish you all the best in the contest. It looks like a win to me. Sending my best today and always, Sally Xo
Comment Written 12-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review, so glad you liked it. :)
Comment from AprilViolet
Wow! You blew it out of the water with this one! Definitely one of my favorites. I love poems that tell a story and have a twist. Also my cat's name is Pandora. Keep up the great work! Six stars!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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Wow! You blew it out of the water with this one! Definitely one of my favorites. I love poems that tell a story and have a twist. Also my cat's name is Pandora. Keep up the great work! Six stars!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Great entry for the Demons on display. writing prompt contest.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation.
Your poem is kind of funny...They work now at a used car lot,
well suited for their jobs. I thought it's too long.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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Hello anonymous
Great entry for the Demons on display. writing prompt contest.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation.
Your poem is kind of funny...They work now at a used car lot,
well suited for their jobs. I thought it's too long.
You followed the rules of the contest well. Nice presentation.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this great review. :)
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Okay, this is definitely a new one. *smile* I never heard of any demon getting a conscience suddenly - but it sure sounds great to me. And then to finally turn a great trick on the old devil? Sure. I'm in.
Thanks for the smile!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Okay, this is definitely a new one. *smile* I never heard of any demon getting a conscience suddenly - but it sure sounds great to me. And then to finally turn a great trick on the old devil? Sure. I'm in.
Thanks for the smile!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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There's a first time for everything!...lol. Just thought it was funny. Thanks for reading my poem. :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a scary write about demons and I am glad I am not reading your poem at night, otherwise I wouldn't sleep! Ha ha ha, devils and demons on the loose here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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This is a scary write about demons and I am glad I am not reading your poem at night, otherwise I wouldn't sleep! Ha ha ha, devils and demons on the loose here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review. :)
Comment from Susan Newell
I wasn't expecting Longfellow. Perhaps he's returned from the grave to taunt other contestants. One little thing, if the Devil is a proper noun, I think he should be wherever he appears. I believe you missed one in paragraph 9, if I counted correctly. Moral of the story: Never trust a demon!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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I wasn't expecting Longfellow. Perhaps he's returned from the grave to taunt other contestants. One little thing, if the Devil is a proper noun, I think he should be wherever he appears. I believe you missed one in paragraph 9, if I counted correctly. Moral of the story: Never trust a demon!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this amazing review, and also for pointing out my error. It's very appreciated. :)
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You humble me.
Comment from WriterHeather
This is a devilishly good write! Seriously, a poem this good should a sin! You are on fire with talent. You didn't make a deal with one of these demons to acquire it did you? Lol. I'm impressed!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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This is a devilishly good write! Seriously, a poem this good should a sin! You are on fire with talent. You didn't make a deal with one of these demons to acquire it did you? Lol. I'm impressed!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this amazing 6 star review, it's so thoughtful of you. :)
Comment from Erika Seshadri
What a fascinating poem. Love the dark feel of it structured around Pandora's Box. A great entry for the Demons on Display contest. Good luck.
All the best.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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What a fascinating poem. Love the dark feel of it structured around Pandora's Box. A great entry for the Demons on Display contest. Good luck.
All the best.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this great review, i really appreciate it. :)
