Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Football Chapter 11 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
30 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Good reading, again. Wonder who is watching them? Frost, I guess. I hope someone blows his cover, soon. Coming along nicely I know you will keep the possible romance hanging for a while, yet. No spags.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Good reading, again. Wonder who is watching them? Frost, I guess. I hope someone blows his cover, soon. Coming along nicely I know you will keep the possible romance hanging for a while, yet. No spags.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Sure do, it's part of my trademark. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from J Patience
I was interested in what was going on, so finished reading the whole thing and my attention wasn't lost. I like the apparently growing interest between coach and mom.
I was confused when the dogs were hearing things that I didn't know about, and after reading all the way I still don't know. If the reader is supposed to know what the - I'm assuming - high-pitched sound is, it might need some tweaking to be more obvious. I realize this is chapter 11, so maybe I've simply missed something. That's the first reason I've chosen four stars.
The second reason is that while I can sense a growing closeness happening between the mom and coach, I don't feel like I've invested any feeling. I see actions happening, and words that may or may not be teasing or have an underlying meaning, but no descriptions of glances being met to build trust, and the taking-of-her-hand repeatedly made me wonder whether she's blind and he's showing that he's paying attention through touch or something. But maybe it's supposed to simply show caring.
The discussion about boxes on top shelves seemed a little belabored in order to apparently make a point about Katherine's height. Katherine seems a little nervous about getting things finished in the house, suggesting a level of paranoia to me. I don't know whether this is intended.
I am left hoping that this disheveled new life for this woman and her four boys unfolds gently, despite the high-pitched sound and wayward, unexplained bruise. I would read the next chapter if I saw it in the lists.
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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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I was interested in what was going on, so finished reading the whole thing and my attention wasn't lost. I like the apparently growing interest between coach and mom.
I was confused when the dogs were hearing things that I didn't know about, and after reading all the way I still don't know. If the reader is supposed to know what the - I'm assuming - high-pitched sound is, it might need some tweaking to be more obvious. I realize this is chapter 11, so maybe I've simply missed something. That's the first reason I've chosen four stars.
The second reason is that while I can sense a growing closeness happening between the mom and coach, I don't feel like I've invested any feeling. I see actions happening, and words that may or may not be teasing or have an underlying meaning, but no descriptions of glances being met to build trust, and the taking-of-her-hand repeatedly made me wonder whether she's blind and he's showing that he's paying attention through touch or something. But maybe it's supposed to simply show caring.
The discussion about boxes on top shelves seemed a little belabored in order to apparently make a point about Katherine's height. Katherine seems a little nervous about getting things finished in the house, suggesting a level of paranoia to me. I don't know whether this is intended.
I am left hoping that this disheveled new life for this woman and her four boys unfolds gently, despite the high-pitched sound and wayward, unexplained bruise. I would read the next chapter if I saw it in the lists.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you please remember this story has been going on for a while. We are in chapter 11 and I only post segments of chapters at a time because of length.
If the reader is supposed to know what the - I'm assuming - high-pitched sound is, it might need some tweaking to be more obvious. (The reader isn't supposed to know, that's the idea.)
But maybe it's supposed to simply show caring. (Again, that's the purpose. They aren't ready to show any deep feelings, they are building a romance in baby steps, each for personal reasons that will soon be made obvious.)
The bruises were explained in an earlier post.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Fun chapter, and now the bluegill. Darn, I'm not there, so I won't be getting any fish for dinner. Well, Captain D's has some fried catfish, but I'm jealous for the bluegill. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Fun chapter, and now the bluegill. Darn, I'm not there, so I won't be getting any fish for dinner. Well, Captain D's has some fried catfish, but I'm jealous for the bluegill. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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I love fried catfish. It's the best, but so not good for you. Since living in Texas I have discovered Redfish. They catch in the Gulf, it's really good too. Thank you for the kind review.
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I like catfish, redfish, and about any other kind of fish as long as it isn't too fishy. Of course, soaking any kind in a little milk washes the fishy away. LOL. You really did make me hungry to fish, so I made up some haddock fish cakes that I'm about to fry up. :-)
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YUM
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this was a lovely continuation, so family like and amicable. You can say what you want, romance is starting to surface. The may not know it yet.
"I have few boxes in the bedrooms that need to be put = "I have a few boxes
After the all the boxes were put up, Gabriel asked, = After all the boxes ...
Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Hi Barbara, this was a lovely continuation, so family like and amicable. You can say what you want, romance is starting to surface. The may not know it yet.
"I have few boxes in the bedrooms that need to be put = "I have a few boxes
After the all the boxes were put up, Gabriel asked, = After all the boxes ...
Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
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My pleasure!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a nice chapter. I was surprised when you said how long they had known each other. I thought probably a month. It seems longer and the same with your last story. It seemed much longer. I guess that is because we only get a chapter a week. You've got a mystery going with the growling dogs. I can't imagine why.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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This is a nice chapter. I was surprised when you said how long they had known each other. I thought probably a month. It seems longer and the same with your last story. It seemed much longer. I guess that is because we only get a chapter a week. You've got a mystery going with the growling dogs. I can't imagine why.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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That's why I said it. People think it's much longer. Thank you fro the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Another very well written chapter. It's hard to believe it has been only a week book time. You're doing a great job packing the story in and character development in a short time.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Another very well written chapter. It's hard to believe it has been only a week book time. You're doing a great job packing the story in and character development in a short time.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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That's why I mentioned it the length of time they've known each each other. Since, I've almost finished with the background the days will move faster because they're repetitive. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Well-written, as always. Characters are appealing. There's not much of interest going on--light banter while putting boxes on shelves--the bit about never ever forgiving him if he teases about her height is heavy-handed. I look forward to the next chapter; I trust you'll pick up the pace!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Well-written, as always. Characters are appealing. There's not much of interest going on--light banter while putting boxes on shelves--the bit about never ever forgiving him if he teases about her height is heavy-handed. I look forward to the next chapter; I trust you'll pick up the pace!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Sometimes you need a background post, and that is what this is. Please remember this is only part of chapter. I need to build their relationship. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
I'm eager to see how the teaching is going to go. Gabriel is certainly worming his way into Katherine's life and affections. He does show the makings of a good father, and Katherine admits he is better with the boys than her late husband. I'd advise skipping the French fries. The hush puppies should be sufficient! Excellent characterization. Congratulations on your plans to retire. You've earned it. Now you'll be able to concentrate on writing. judi
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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I'm eager to see how the teaching is going to go. Gabriel is certainly worming his way into Katherine's life and affections. He does show the makings of a good father, and Katherine admits he is better with the boys than her late husband. I'd advise skipping the French fries. The hush puppies should be sufficient! Excellent characterization. Congratulations on your plans to retire. You've earned it. Now you'll be able to concentrate on writing. judi
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. This story isn't at all about teaching. It's a romance. There will be teaching coming up.
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You're welcome. I'm glad you made the decision to retire, especially the way things have been going in the schools. If not the virus, something else will happen to disrupt the schools. judi
Comment from royowen
There's a growl from the dogs that keeps coming, I wonder what that can be? So Katherine's worked out that Gabe's good with the boys, but she's also worked out he's just a big kid like them. He her with a number of boxes, works out she's only 5'2" He's 6'5" tall, huge, well done Barbara, good writing, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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There's a growl from the dogs that keeps coming, I wonder what that can be? So Katherine's worked out that Gabe's good with the boys, but she's also worked out he's just a big kid like them. He her with a number of boxes, works out she's only 5'2" He's 6'5" tall, huge, well done Barbara, good writing, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome Barbara,
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I don't like the way the dogs keep growling. Something is out there, but Gabriel and Katherine seem to be ignoring it. I'd want to know who is the cause. It's strange that it's always when Gabriel is there. I'm beginning to believe Frost has something to do with this.
I think Katherine is becoming romantically interested in Gabriel and vice versa. Her late husband doesn't sound like he was around much. Another excellent part, my friend. Well done! Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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I don't like the way the dogs keep growling. Something is out there, but Gabriel and Katherine seem to be ignoring it. I'd want to know who is the cause. It's strange that it's always when Gabriel is there. I'm beginning to believe Frost has something to do with this.
I think Katherine is becoming romantically interested in Gabriel and vice versa. Her late husband doesn't sound like he was around much. Another excellent part, my friend. Well done! Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
