Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Football Chapter 11 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

30 total reviews 
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning, Barbara - I see I have dropped into the middle of your novel and have missed a lot of your story lin. That being said - it was still easy to follow the current characters and their interaction. My daughter is the short one in the family and there is often banter about not being able to reach things. This chapter was entertaining and easy to follow. Good luck with it!!

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am still enjoying this story as it gets posted, and I like its clear and readable style. I am sure that some significant drama will happen before their relationship gets going, and the dogs snarling seems to be an indicator of some impending trouble. Well written.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nicely written. You never have errors. These two continue to bond. I'm enjoying a character that's not super young and with some maturity...the comfort between these adults is increading. Stay safe.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HAHAHAHAH! The dialogue is insanely hilarious in this one. I was smiling as I read the whole thing through. :) I love when family plays together it's always fun. And I actually have a funny story of how I stole the ball from my own team when I was playing football. LOL. Yeah, I know. I was very confused at the time why everyone was so angry... then I realized. And I forgot to mention in my last review that I saw when Angie had said, "I can't wait to start our family togther' I'm a little confused my the sentence.

Also, I read your author notes... May 28th? Wow. I'm guessing that's a good thing since you don't have to worry about coming in contact with people.

But I can't wait to read the next chapter! I have a feeling it's going to a very very good one. :)

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
    I will recheck that area. Thank you for pointing it out.
reply by AJ McCall on 11-Feb-2021
    You're welcome!
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear barbara, The romance, the help, and the menu seem to be doing just fine, but you keep inserting this ominous tone. What is it that the dogs are growling at?
I do hope you will satisfy my curiosity soon, because a person, like me, at 83, can only stay around for a while,
for I might die tomorrow, and never find out. (smile)

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    Your curiosity will be solved about the dogs very soon in maybe 3 weeks. Thank you for the kind review
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There's something about the two sentences below. I was confused at first. I'm not even sure any clarification needs to me made. But when Gabriel touches her arm and asks if she's all right, but then follows with, "You hit pretty hard." (I would have thought he'd say, "You GOT hit pretty hard.)

But then I was further confused when Katherine jokingly implied her falling bruised him. I realize the whole thing was lighthearted and no one was really hurt, but still you don't want the reader to be coming out of the imaging in his/her mind in order to sort it out.

<<"They do." Gabriel touched her arm. "Are you sure you're all right? You hit pretty hard."

"So my fall bruised you? Jordan, you'd better get Coach Hudson a bag of ice." >>

Hope I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill with the above. I'm really bonding with Katherine, her family, and Gabriel.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    I will take another look at those sentences, but it won't be until next weekend. Thank you for pointing it out.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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These chapters are merely slices of life from the lives of some ordinary people. Very nice, but still just ordinary people. The tricky part is, they are written in such a way that the things they think, feel, and say are interesting and compelling. So much so, that the readers care about what they see, do, think, and feel.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    Thank you for your encouraging words.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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Barbara:

Another great chapter. I wonder how many of
your readers have picked up on the "noise" the
dogs keep hearing. I'm sure when whatever it
is will come as a shock to any of the readers
who have missed those subtle hints.

Rdfrdmom2

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another fine addition to your story. I think your pace with the relationship is right on. He is just the right amount of pushy because it seems hard for her to ask for help. Keep those chapters coming

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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Those ominous growls mean someone is doing something they shouldn't be. No wonder Gabe stays close and keeps an eye on things. Watching out for each other is something people in small towns do well.
Katherine seems to be warming to Gabe being around the boys and they love it.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2021


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.