Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Great Disguise "A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
14 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I apologize for my tardiness in reading your chapter...you know I love reading your work. I've been working on that last chapter for about 5 days.There was a part that just wouldn't come. I finally did. Now your story:
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This is one of my favorite lines and the crux or full meaning of the problem. " The fictitious images Hollywood paints don't help." This is a great expression to give it realism: "Patrol claims that he ate his gun"
This is a good move to give credibility to your story: "I want you to check the security camera just to be sure." Well researched.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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I apologize for my tardiness in reading your chapter...you know I love reading your work. I've been working on that last chapter for about 5 days.There was a part that just wouldn't come. I finally did. Now your story:
***********
This is one of my favorite lines and the crux or full meaning of the problem. " The fictitious images Hollywood paints don't help." This is a great expression to give it realism: "Patrol claims that he ate his gun"
This is a good move to give credibility to your story: "I want you to check the security camera just to be sure." Well researched.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for your kind review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I hate it when a chapter takes forever to come together, it's so darn frustrating.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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OMG I just watched the most recent ep. of Big Sky...There is one more ep. then we wait til March sometime, I think.
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Do you think the cop is faking his amnesia? If he is he's doing a good job.
Ronald, he's turned into another Norman Bates.
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Yes...yes...yes He is faking...I kept yelling at him...lol I thought of Norman Bates also.
I'm just reading a story about found children by Erika Seshardi called The Way Back home.
Se just said what you & I have talked about: "I believe each time someone speaks out loud about a personal or collective pain, a tiny fraction of it sheds away." I was just writing to her that that's why I write and why Mistydawn writes. I'm directing her to your story.
Back to Big Sky...I wonder if they will venture into the MMICWT Missing Indigneous
Comment from Cindy Warren
One less creep in the world. I can't say I'm sorry about that. I doubt it was remorse he was feeling, tho. It was fear of what would happen when he was exposed. Too bad they never think of that before they offend.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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One less creep in the world. I can't say I'm sorry about that. I doubt it was remorse he was feeling, tho. It was fear of what would happen when he was exposed. Too bad they never think of that before they offend.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter Your support is always greatly appreciated. Killing him off didn't hurt my feelings a bit. You're right, it wasn't remorse at all. Not sure people like him know what that word means.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Lyn Peters
You've captured my attention, Mistydawn - I look forward to reading more installments. I especially enjoy the detail you provide in describing your characters...you provide your reader with such a clear picture of the people that it's easy to imagine them in action. Thank you for sharing your work. Wishing you good health and happy writing.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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You've captured my attention, Mistydawn - I look forward to reading more installments. I especially enjoy the detail you provide in describing your characters...you provide your reader with such a clear picture of the people that it's easy to imagine them in action. Thank you for sharing your work. Wishing you good health and happy writing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, that you could picture it in your mind. Knowing that means so much to me.
Thank you again for your wonderful support. It's always greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
It is surprising when you find out who is into trafficking. People you think are decent turn out to be the scum of the earth. Money makes people do horrible things. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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It is surprising when you find out who is into trafficking. People you think are decent turn out to be the scum of the earth. Money makes people do horrible things. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for your continued support, It means so much to me. You're right, criminals don't always look like what you see on TV. That's what makes them so hard to detect.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Mia Twysted
Oh, I can feel the pressure adding up. Another one gets away.
I like that she is going to follow them and try to find the girls. I know something is going to happen. I can just feel in my bones.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Oh, I can feel the pressure adding up. Another one gets away.
I like that she is going to follow them and try to find the girls. I know something is going to happen. I can just feel in my bones.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for continuing to follow this story. Your support is always greatly appreciated. It sounds like you know me, my style of writing well, lol. You're right, Anna and Alhendro have a huge obstacle to face.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from BethShelby
You are such a good writer. You dialogue always sounds so right for the occasion. I love reading your stories. When you switch from one scene tot he next it's flawless and I never find any errors in your writing. I always look forward to your next chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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You are such a good writer. You dialogue always sounds so right for the occasion. I love reading your stories. When you switch from one scene tot he next it's flawless and I never find any errors in your writing. I always look forward to your next chapter.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you continue to enjoy my story. Oh, there's errors, but they're found and fixed before you read.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Mistydawn.
With the suicide/vigilante victim in the room, it does bring to mind it keeping track of who's doing what can be difficult because the vigilantes certainly don't want to point the finger at themselves. One thing I would mention is that you used terms like MBE in your narrative, some people may not know what an enemy is from its initials see you may want to spell it out once or twice just to set it up so those following the writing will have that factoid stored in their mind.
The following is an incomplete sentence but since it is in dialogue, it can often be overlooked but it may be confusing to the reader. Dialogue is different because we don't always know the background of who is saying the words.
"Said someone used a key to enter the house, then reset the system a minute after."
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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Hello Mistydawn.
With the suicide/vigilante victim in the room, it does bring to mind it keeping track of who's doing what can be difficult because the vigilantes certainly don't want to point the finger at themselves. One thing I would mention is that you used terms like MBE in your narrative, some people may not know what an enemy is from its initials see you may want to spell it out once or twice just to set it up so those following the writing will have that factoid stored in their mind.
The following is an incomplete sentence but since it is in dialogue, it can often be overlooked but it may be confusing to the reader. Dialogue is different because we don't always know the background of who is saying the words.
"Said someone used a key to enter the house, then reset the system a minute after."
Robert
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your sound advice. Your help is always appreciated. I guess I just assumed they'd know, not wise.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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You're welcome.
Comment from country ranch writer
Sounds like a lot of scheming going on they better watch their backs. The whole thing sounds to hard tobelieve, we will have to wait and find out later.In the next epsegment,
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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Sounds like a lot of scheming going on they better watch their backs. The whole thing sounds to hard tobelieve, we will have to wait and find out later.In the next epsegment,
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review, I am honored. Toni and her detectives are hoping to take down more than the two, find the girls.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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😴waiting for more to come my way. Good job.I will try to be patient.😱💕
Comment from Ulla
Hmm, Misty, the plot is thickening. I love this story and the way you weave it all together. The perps need to be framed. but sometimes all is not what it seems to be. I've meant to say it a few times. Your writing has so improved of late. It's a joy to read. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Hmm, Misty, the plot is thickening. I love this story and the way you weave it all together. The perps need to be framed. but sometimes all is not what it seems to be. I've meant to say it a few times. Your writing has so improved of late. It's a joy to read. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review as for your wonderful praise. I wouldn't have improved at all if it weren't for everyone on fan story. Hopefully, I'll continue to improve, show you guys you haven't wasted your time.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouraging words, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing another fine chapter that gives details the way I like to hear them, down and dirty, or should I have said brains like gravy, talking about the suicide victim. Great job as always!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thanks for sharing another fine chapter that gives details the way I like to hear them, down and dirty, or should I have said brains like gravy, talking about the suicide victim. Great job as always!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I imagine the poor cop walked into a heck of a mess. I feel sorry for them, some of the things they see. You just gave me an idea. A cannibal cop, hmm.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
