Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "The Baby's Fate"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
18 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Mistydawn.
The story could go badly from this point with the health issues for Anna and the baby. Alejandro has stayed very close and is certainly showing himself to be a good man.
You left the chapter with suspense which is a good technique in chapter progression.
There are some small NITS:
(What) isn't he crying (Why)
You have a typo in Alejandro's name in two places.
You should capitalize "Lord"
Robert
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Hello Mistydawn.
The story could go badly from this point with the health issues for Anna and the baby. Alejandro has stayed very close and is certainly showing himself to be a good man.
You left the chapter with suspense which is a good technique in chapter progression.
There are some small NITS:
(What) isn't he crying (Why)
You have a typo in Alejandro's name in two places.
You should capitalize "Lord"
Robert
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for catching my mistakes. Your help is always greatly appreciated. Alejandro is a terrific guy, will do everything he can for Anna and the baby.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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You're welcome.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is another wonderful chapter to read and follow. Anna's birth of a preemie is concerning to say the least. They have a long row to hoe before the baby boy is strong enough to leave the hospital.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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This is another wonderful chapter to read and follow. Anna's birth of a preemie is concerning to say the least. They have a long row to hoe before the baby boy is strong enough to leave the hospital.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your warm review. You're right, Both Anna and the baby have a long way to go.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always is greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Misty, this is quite the dramatic chapter. Everything seems to be going fine although Anna has some bad feelings about it all, and then, wham, she is going into some sort of a coma. Very worrying, indeed. Looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Hi Misty, this is quite the dramatic chapter. Everything seems to be going fine although Anna has some bad feelings about it all, and then, wham, she is going into some sort of a coma. Very worrying, indeed. Looking forward to what's next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. Poor Anna had a premonition that she just couldn't shake.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Lyn Peters
Oh my! The story you wove for us is filled with so many questions - will Anna live? Will their son survive? I love that Alhendro has such faith. Thank you for sharing your work. I'll look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Happy writing.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Oh my! The story you wove for us is filled with so many questions - will Anna live? Will their son survive? I love that Alhendro has such faith. Thank you for sharing your work. I'll look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Happy writing.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. Alhendro has been Anna's saving grace, he gave her hope, showed her what true, uncondidional love is.
Thank you again for reading my chapter. I'll look forward to hearing from you again, take care.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good story. It's obvious there is much more but you tell enough to keep there from being a lot of confusion. One problem I saw, in paragraph 14 the first sentence is missing a word. I never gave birth to any of my 7 kids, but I don't believe a man would scoop a woman up in his arms just after she gave birth. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Good story. It's obvious there is much more but you tell enough to keep there from being a lot of confusion. One problem I saw, in paragraph 14 the first sentence is missing a word. I never gave birth to any of my 7 kids, but I don't believe a man would scoop a woman up in his arms just after she gave birth. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your suggestion. You're right. He could pick her up, but it'd be painful, he might open the incision up. So he'll lay his head beside her instead.
Thank you again, for reading my chapter and your helpful suggestion. Your help is always greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Mistydawn
I found this chapter is very emontial, and well done.
especially the birth of the baby, wondering if the baby will live.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Hi Mistydawn
I found this chapter is very emontial, and well done.
especially the birth of the baby, wondering if the baby will live.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm glad you were emotionally connected to the characters. I'm trying hard to make them realistic, 3 dimensional. Hopefully someone won't soon forget.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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You are most welcome Mistydawn
Gert
Comment from royowen
A very sad episode this one, the chances of a prem baby this size aren't great, and once upon a time, they would have no hope, as the gravestones will attest to. But now Anna is likewise in the critical lane also, less chance than the baby. Well done, great scribing, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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A very sad episode this one, the chances of a prem baby this size aren't great, and once upon a time, they would have no hope, as the gravestones will attest to. But now Anna is likewise in the critical lane also, less chance than the baby. Well done, great scribing, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. You're right, a few years back and neither would have a chance. I just hope the doc has what he needs.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter of the Mystery and Crime Fiction in continuation speaks about the fate of the baby, under medical treatment, critical condition question of saving comes, very orderly plot developed, fostered by so many dialogues realistic; with catchy beginning and ends with a mystic ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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This Chapter of the Mystery and Crime Fiction in continuation speaks about the fate of the baby, under medical treatment, critical condition question of saving comes, very orderly plot developed, fostered by so many dialogues realistic; with catchy beginning and ends with a mystic ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you again for all your support, it's greatly appreciated, take care.
