Reviews from

Weekend Getaway

A mother and son conversation before both leave for a trip.

6 total reviews 
Comment from Lyn Peters
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting dialogue between mom and son - in a short time, you managed to share so much about the family (past and present). I like the way you kept referring to the weight of the suitcase...makes this reader wonder exactly what is inside. I'll look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Wishing you good health and happy writing.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
    Thank you
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Perfect story in the Dialogue only contest! Good luck on the win;-)
The characters are great together and compliment each other nicely!

Thanxxx for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you.
Comment from AnnieDawn
Excellent
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Well, in reading this dialog the book ought to be a really good one. I hope that you run the chapters through the site here for us to review. That would be an interesting book to follow. Great job and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you, Annie. I do plan on posting it. I need to get a few more chapters before I begin because I'm trying to keep my chapters short,
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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I enjoyed your contest entry. Your lines read well like a real conversation. There is good flow. Your characters are well-characterized--the ever present nosy mother and the evasive son.

May I suggest ~

For this contest, writers are not allowed to use any kind of speech tags. So you need to delete the words like Daniel said, he asked, and so on. Also if you could make several paragraphs with a blank line between them, it would help in the reading. Another idea is to leave off the quotation marks--just be sure that readers understand who is talking without saying who is talking.
Best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you, Jan. I was unclear on whether or not to use quotations or identifiers.
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 26-Jan-2021
    I have seen many with no " " since it is a dialogue only everyone knows there is dialogue. As for the speech tags, make sure you delete ALL of them--none are allowed. Also a few line breaks would help in reading your lines.
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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A very well constructed dialogue, It was easy to keep up with who was speaking. I this this will be a very interesting book. The dialouge stands by itself and needs no image support.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you.
Comment from Raul1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much.