Her Dawn
perhaps my speech63 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I'm not sure you are ever "really giving her away". They have a huge tendency to continual seek their fathers out. Not that a woman can't handle her shit but because of all the moments that pass when she embarks on a life outside your control. A compassionate, tough, loving father is a treasure and to have intelligence on your side as well? I'm pretty sure a girl like Tori isn't really going to go that far away from you.
Well written my friend. Stay strong!
deborah
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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I'm not sure you are ever "really giving her away". They have a huge tendency to continual seek their fathers out. Not that a woman can't handle her shit but because of all the moments that pass when she embarks on a life outside your control. A compassionate, tough, loving father is a treasure and to have intelligence on your side as well? I'm pretty sure a girl like Tori isn't really going to go that far away from you.
Well written my friend. Stay strong!
deborah
Comment Written 29-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021
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Very nice reply.
I thank you.
Doug
Comment from rspoet
Hello Doug,
And that's as it should be, as you know.
But it isn't all or nothing, rather a transition.
It's nice to know she has someone
and may start a family of her own.
For her radiance
now glows
anew
That says it all.
Best wishes to all.
Robert
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Hello Doug,
And that's as it should be, as you know.
But it isn't all or nothing, rather a transition.
It's nice to know she has someone
and may start a family of her own.
For her radiance
now glows
anew
That says it all.
Best wishes to all.
Robert
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you, my good man.
Comment from Michele Harber
I'm sure your daughter would be honored to have you say these words, that beautifully express your love for her and, at the same time, your acceptance that, no matter how difficult, the ties have to be cut and the torch passed. (I know I mixed my metaphors, but you get the drift.)
As a poem, it's a bit choppy, with no adherence to line length and syllable count but, as a speech at the wedding, no one's going to notice.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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I'm sure your daughter would be honored to have you say these words, that beautifully express your love for her and, at the same time, your acceptance that, no matter how difficult, the ties have to be cut and the torch passed. (I know I mixed my metaphors, but you get the drift.)
As a poem, it's a bit choppy, with no adherence to line length and syllable count but, as a speech at the wedding, no one's going to notice.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Smiling, thank you.
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Smiling right back.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Doug. I absolutely loved this poem. I wrote a similar one about my daughter if you are interested. This one of yours exposes daddy's heart so well and there is nothing wrong with that, as we both know. Mine is called "A father's Pledge" and it is in my folio from about ten years ago if you would like to peek. Thanks for sharing, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Hi Doug. I absolutely loved this poem. I wrote a similar one about my daughter if you are interested. This one of yours exposes daddy's heart so well and there is nothing wrong with that, as we both know. Mine is called "A father's Pledge" and it is in my folio from about ten years ago if you would like to peek. Thanks for sharing, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Bob, thank you for ur review.
It touched me.
I shall go back and read urs.
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Thanks Doug. I'm sure you are a great Dad too. Bob
Comment from DeboraDyess
BEAUTIFUL!
But you missed one thing.
'A humble and contrite AND LOVING father' We could feel your heart for your girl as we read. She's a lucky gal.
Blessings and keep writing these beauties.
Deb
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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BEAUTIFUL!
But you missed one thing.
'A humble and contrite AND LOVING father' We could feel your heart for your girl as we read. She's a lucky gal.
Blessings and keep writing these beauties.
Deb
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Deb.
I appreciate it.
Doug
Comment from Sole Searcher
What a beautiful piece dedicated to a daughter. I felt the love you have for her and the sadness at the same time as she goes on her own path. Thank you for sharing your piece.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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What a beautiful piece dedicated to a daughter. I felt the love you have for her and the sadness at the same time as she goes on her own path. Thank you for sharing your piece.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you for reading it.
Comment from Leann DS
I like the words of your poem a lot! With two daughters, I can certainly relate to the sentiment. I have one suggestion, however, as the flow seemed a bit choppy to me. Could you combine some of your lines for a more smooth flow? For example:
She has been my light
for so many years.
Now, she chooses her path
A path she brightens for you both.
That's just a suggestion.
The thing I like the most about your poem is your comparison of your daughter to light. My daughters are my light also. Hugs!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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I like the words of your poem a lot! With two daughters, I can certainly relate to the sentiment. I have one suggestion, however, as the flow seemed a bit choppy to me. Could you combine some of your lines for a more smooth flow? For example:
She has been my light
for so many years.
Now, she chooses her path
A path she brightens for you both.
That's just a suggestion.
The thing I like the most about your poem is your comparison of your daughter to light. My daughters are my light also. Hugs!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Thank you.
I appreciate your suggestions.
I have always been stubborn,
I guess. Hard to veer from my paths.
When I write, I try to cull a thought down to the minimum
of words possible. Pay no attention to syllable count, nor to rhyme necessarily.
So, no insult intended, but I most likely will stick to my guns.
Smiling,
Doug
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
A very touching poem. A daughter is the most precious gift that the world has to give. You have done your job and rest assured she will glow and soar in her new role.Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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A very touching poem. A daughter is the most precious gift that the world has to give. You have done your job and rest assured she will glow and soar in her new role.Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2021
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Smiling, thank you for reading.
Comment from jenintorre
This is such a heartwarming wedding speech, so emotional and and well written. I love the accompanying artwork. Nice one. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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This is such a heartwarming wedding speech, so emotional and and well written. I love the accompanying artwork. Nice one. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Jen.
Comment from Janet Foor
There's a saying, " A son is a son til he marries a wife. A daughter's a daughter the rest of your life". Reading your sweet poem, I think she will always be daddy's little girl.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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There's a saying, " A son is a son til he marries a wife. A daughter's a daughter the rest of your life". Reading your sweet poem, I think she will always be daddy's little girl.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 26-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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Thank you, dear.
