The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Listen to the Wind"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
17 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Oh, the poor girls! Now I have to wait for the next post to find out what happens to them. This is such a good story to follow. Each post is exciting. Well written!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Oh, the poor girls! Now I have to wait for the next post to find out what happens to them. This is such a good story to follow. Each post is exciting. Well written!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Thanks Becca! I appreciate your feedback in part because you are one of my favorite western writers!
Comment from Raul1
This is a well told chapter and it has a lot of action in it. You showed, but didn't tell. It's how a story should be. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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This is a well told chapter and it has a lot of action in it. You showed, but didn't tell. It's how a story should be. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thank you, sir.
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You're welcome, buddy! :)
Comment from Alaskastory
"Listen to the Wind" is filled with excitement. Movement by Jane and Little Deer is portrayed in good descriptions. Covering their progress in darkness within the cave makes a really good read.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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"Listen to the Wind" is filled with excitement. Movement by Jane and Little Deer is portrayed in good descriptions. Covering their progress in darkness within the cave makes a really good read.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thanks Marie!
Comment from Ben Colder
I ran out of six. This is very good and interesting. The reader can not put this aside. It is filled with tense drama. It would make a good movie. Now what happens to these women? Stay tuned to this station, don't touch that dial.
Good one Bro.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I ran out of six. This is very good and interesting. The reader can not put this aside. It is filled with tense drama. It would make a good movie. Now what happens to these women? Stay tuned to this station, don't touch that dial.
Good one Bro.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I like this promo, bro...! Sounds like a plan. Maybe we should join forces and put out much cleaner quality movies.
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With this generation? One could only hope.
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I would like to speak with you about that. I would be honored to team with you. If I may share, If my age would and circumstances would allow, I would like to go to Fort Richardson Texas and stay for a few weeks while attempting to write about the Negro Seminole scouts.
Among them the Congressional Medal Of Honor was awarded.
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My chief desire this year is to strictly make the best attempt at screenplay. I've been trying to school myself on how to do it. I have a cousin who lives near Hollywood and says one of his friends is a producer with connections! If I could just take the leap and try a script write. I would love to co-write something of eternal value, from our Christian history. There are so many tremendous characters of true life heroics that have never been in film. What are your thoughts or ideas? To me, I think there's a story out there like Eric Liddel and Chariots of Fire, maybe buried in our history, somewhere, maybe a civil war era/western one. I'm going to enter the script contest, to keep testing the water. I love you brother. I want you be healthy and careful. We have to be the salt of the earth.
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Go for it. I won a trophy a few years back here on Fan Story for script writing. I did one on women spies during the Civil War. Some were very interesting. Best to you Bro toward what ever you desire.
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
Scary little bit. I have to tell you, though, I'm not sure I understood all these parts in the cave - what was happening when- the directions, the actions, the movements. You might consider tightening some of the up?
Also,
1.) She persisted. We squeezed through a sharp opening that cut into my backside,
--> persisted in what?
2.) She pulled me upward. I passed her the torch.
--> why? you said Little Deer's light THREATENED to go out - but not that it went out, right?
3.) But I prayed it was the (breath) of wind she talked about.
4.) Eyes wide, I looked again, only to see a light flushed toward us.
--> 'flushed' - or 'flashed'?
5.) Lo(o)se rocks crumbled and fell around us until I tasted the gravel.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Stan,
Scary little bit. I have to tell you, though, I'm not sure I understood all these parts in the cave - what was happening when- the directions, the actions, the movements. You might consider tightening some of the up?
Also,
1.) She persisted. We squeezed through a sharp opening that cut into my backside,
--> persisted in what?
2.) She pulled me upward. I passed her the torch.
--> why? you said Little Deer's light THREATENED to go out - but not that it went out, right?
3.) But I prayed it was the (breath) of wind she talked about.
4.) Eyes wide, I looked again, only to see a light flushed toward us.
--> 'flushed' - or 'flashed'?
5.) Lo(o)se rocks crumbled and fell around us until I tasted the gravel.
Thanks!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Yupp. I fixed him. You went easy on me. I was hoping you would like the suspense.
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Haha!! I always enjoy you!!
Comment from BethShelby
What a cliffhanger. I hope you don't long to post more this is scary place to leave up. Your story is so interesting. I'm wondering if Little Deer is about to kill someone with her knife.
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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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What a cliffhanger. I hope you don't long to post more this is scary place to leave up. Your story is so interesting. I'm wondering if Little Deer is about to kill someone with her knife.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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They are cornered, for sure. But you are right.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
FORESTPORT12:
I just stumbled over your book as I was doing some bonus reviewing
so I could do some posting - and I'm glad I did. I really like what I've
read. This is truly western fiction. I hope to go back and read some
of your earlier chapters soon,
Rdfrdmom2
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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FORESTPORT12:
I just stumbled over your book as I was doing some bonus reviewing
so I could do some posting - and I'm glad I did. I really like what I've
read. This is truly western fiction. I hope to go back and read some
of your earlier chapters soon,
Rdfrdmom2
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thanks! I just fan friended you, so I could stay in touch and reciprocate. Blessings around the bookends!
