Miss Billie Part~5
1,700 words. The final chapter.8 total reviews
Comment from Deanna Nese
I enjoy the 1st person POV. The challenge is for the reader to really see and feel through the eyes and voice of just one person. I was able to jump into ch 10 and be immersed. I loved it.
I'm new to the site, so I don't know if you meant to format it to read like an epic poem or not, but that worked too.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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I enjoy the 1st person POV. The challenge is for the reader to really see and feel through the eyes and voice of just one person. I was able to jump into ch 10 and be immersed. I loved it.
I'm new to the site, so I don't know if you meant to format it to read like an epic poem or not, but that worked too.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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Hello, my friend. I always write in first person which some people don't like. Thank you for your kind words! I'll be by to read.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartbreaking and warming--stunning narration rife with rich depiction of this special person and place. Hard to belive this is fiction--narrator's raw emotions ring true to life. Masterfully-crafted send-off to Billie and your book.
Who cares about getting stuck now (question mark)
A quick smile appears [AS I SPIN] around the post. Is this your meaning?
The full moon shines in the living room through the shades [COMMA] showing me where the remotes are.
Opening the door, my heart sinks. [When I open ...]
On the right side, farthest away from the church, ARE the SLAVES' unmarked graves. They tried to deny any slave a chance to be buried close to God [COMMA] as if that mattered.
hyphenate one-subject (notebooks)
What's that stacked in the corner [QUESTION MARK]
Maybe [OMIT comma] she can save it?
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Heartbreaking and warming--stunning narration rife with rich depiction of this special person and place. Hard to belive this is fiction--narrator's raw emotions ring true to life. Masterfully-crafted send-off to Billie and your book.
Who cares about getting stuck now (question mark)
A quick smile appears [AS I SPIN] around the post. Is this your meaning?
The full moon shines in the living room through the shades [COMMA] showing me where the remotes are.
Opening the door, my heart sinks. [When I open ...]
On the right side, farthest away from the church, ARE the SLAVES' unmarked graves. They tried to deny any slave a chance to be buried close to God [COMMA] as if that mattered.
hyphenate one-subject (notebooks)
What's that stacked in the corner [QUESTION MARK]
Maybe [OMIT comma] she can save it?
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi, Elizabeth. Thank you for your kind words and help with editing this story. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm one of the few who believes that as important as theme and plot are to the story, the characters are the true story. You've written some might powerful visuals that grab the senses, and a few I'm not soon to forget. Great writing! Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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I'm one of the few who believes that as important as theme and plot are to the story, the characters are the true story. You've written some might powerful visuals that grab the senses, and a few I'm not soon to forget. Great writing! Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi, Ric. Thank you for your kind words and the thought of a six. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from royowen
I'm sure we all have something to share, your stories of Miss Billie are very precious, your writings and mine will remain as testimonies to God's goodness, Mike, and, of course, a testimony is like the word itself, it will remain as a badge of honour to His goodness, I have pondered what use to God have I been, I guess His unwavering love and faithfulness, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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I'm sure we all have something to share, your stories of Miss Billie are very precious, your writings and mine will remain as testimonies to God's goodness, Mike, and, of course, a testimony is like the word itself, it will remain as a badge of honour to His goodness, I have pondered what use to God have I been, I guess His unwavering love and faithfulness, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi, Roy. Thank you for your kind words, and let's keep sharing God's love in our writings.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Indeed Mike
Comment from BethShelby
This is beautifully written and a fitting way to end this portion of the story. I look forward to reading the stories from Miss Billie's diary. I know you created MIss Billie but I have a feeling some parts of the story are true. Maybe the history of the little towns. I don't if you wife and mother have passed but you've made the whole thing sound very real. I fell I've been to Miss Billie's house. Good writing.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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This is beautifully written and a fitting way to end this portion of the story. I look forward to reading the stories from Miss Billie's diary. I know you created MIss Billie but I have a feeling some parts of the story are true. Maybe the history of the little towns. I don't if you wife and mother have passed but you've made the whole thing sound very real. I fell I've been to Miss Billie's house. Good writing.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hi, Beth. Thank you for your kind words. I love finding those little towns and sharing their history. It was a pleasure to share Miss Billie.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from RetroStarfish
You've managed to make me smile after reading of such a terrible loss. That takes talent. Thank you for introducing Miss Billie to me, and old Shiloh too. You've made both come alive.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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You've managed to make me smile after reading of such a terrible loss. That takes talent. Thank you for introducing Miss Billie to me, and old Shiloh too. You've made both come alive.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words. It was a pleasure to share Miss Billie.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Final Chapter of the psychological Fiction has a rich, intensive personalized affecting taletelling about Miss Billie, progressive plot development, with catchy beginning and a conclusive-resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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This Final Chapter of the psychological Fiction has a rich, intensive personalized affecting taletelling about Miss Billie, progressive plot development, with catchy beginning and a conclusive-resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words and for those shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated! It was a pleasure to share Miss Billie.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
Wonderful story. Since this is in the general fiction category I presume it isn't a true story, but as you say there is so many stories that surround us. I especially enjoyed your description of her home as seasons and the things that spoke of each season. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Wonderful story. Since this is in the general fiction category I presume it isn't a true story, but as you say there is so many stories that surround us. I especially enjoyed your description of her home as seasons and the things that spoke of each season. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2021
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words. Wondering if it were true is the greatest compliment any fiction writer can receive.
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
