More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Further Revelations - 1925"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
30 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
There is so much mystery surrounding the characters at this juncture that it would seem pointless to give an opinion on the situation outlined in this chapter. With the name Tom, being very popular in this town, one would be wise to hold one's tongue. There are so many more facts being introduced in each chapter that connect a few dots, here and there, but not everywhere.
Ralf
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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There is so much mystery surrounding the characters at this juncture that it would seem pointless to give an opinion on the situation outlined in this chapter. With the name Tom, being very popular in this town, one would be wise to hold one's tongue. There are so many more facts being introduced in each chapter that connect a few dots, here and there, but not everywhere.
Ralf
Comment Written 16-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for this review. Tom was a very popular name in England at this time. Hence the soldiers' nickname 'Tommies'
Comment from Lyn Peters
I enjoyed chapter 8 - Further Revelations - 1925, very much. It is gratifying when a story maintains integrity (not so easy to do when it would be natural to take modern forensics and technology for granted). You kept the dialogue moving at an engaging pace and now, of course, I want to read much, more. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed chapter 8 - Further Revelations - 1925, very much. It is gratifying when a story maintains integrity (not so easy to do when it would be natural to take modern forensics and technology for granted). You kept the dialogue moving at an engaging pace and now, of course, I want to read much, more. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this chapter.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I appreciate that you don't like skeletal writing, so I will make few comments. However, I can't help noting that from teaching communication I have a horror of padding such as 'in order' that adds nothing useful to a sentence.
which she went and got > I find the use of this construction extremely interesting. To get is one of the most imprecise verbs in the English language, and linking it to the verb to go (a weak verb) is not something I would have expected from the little I know of you (unless you are making a statement concerning archaic language in which case I apologise. Indeed I find that in this novel so far you have used a light hand very effectively to indicate dated punctuation and sentence construction).
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I appreciate that you don't like skeletal writing, so I will make few comments. However, I can't help noting that from teaching communication I have a horror of padding such as 'in order' that adds nothing useful to a sentence.
which she went and got > I find the use of this construction extremely interesting. To get is one of the most imprecise verbs in the English language, and linking it to the verb to go (a weak verb) is not something I would have expected from the little I know of you (unless you are making a statement concerning archaic language in which case I apologise. Indeed I find that in this novel so far you have used a light hand very effectively to indicate dated punctuation and sentence construction).
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Thank you for this interesting an valued comment.
You are absolutely right about the strength of these words and this is not a statement on archaic language. It is however part of a dialogue and we do not always pick our words as carefully as we should. Allen is extemporising from his notes in an informal situation. In speech we all pad to achieve thinking time. I felt it would feel stilted were it to be too formalised as it would have were I writing carefully structured narrative.
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Thank you for your answer to the review - I am learning from you all the time. You are very generous (but soon I shall be scared to comment). Katherine
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Please don't ever feel scared to comment. Your opinions are important to me as are those of others. Considering that we have been discussing the strengths and weaknesses of various words, I was pleased that you should use my views to review my own writing. There is however a wealth of difference between writing that tries to record an informal conversation and writing as highly structured as formal poetry.
It is a bit like cooking. It is easy to overcook as it is to undercooked and even the finest chefs are capable of errors.
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I listen very carefully to everything you tell us, and mull it over every afternoon. Coming from the world of precise, non-repetitive scientific reporting, I think I might actually have more problems with dialogue than with poetry, but I'm working on it.
I have stolen your last sentence before cooking, removed the word however and pinned it up on my 'think' board. Thank you!
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I am honoured to be pinned to your 'think' board.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very good picture, and I
appreciate the notes.
-A very good chapter as Peter
relates the details of the hearing.
-We are learning more, bit by bit.
-The tone of story is very conversational
as if he were speaking directly to the reader.
-I also like how the Charles doesn't
interrupt him except for a few brief comments.
-I think your readers will be glad to
learn what is in the letter, too!
-Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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-A very good picture, and I
appreciate the notes.
-A very good chapter as Peter
relates the details of the hearing.
-We are learning more, bit by bit.
-The tone of story is very conversational
as if he were speaking directly to the reader.
-I also like how the Charles doesn't
interrupt him except for a few brief comments.
-I think your readers will be glad to
learn what is in the letter, too!
-Well done.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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The letters are up there at this moment. Lol. Many thanks for this supportive review.bit is much appreciated.
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I actually read the next chapter because I was interested to see what it was. You are very welcome for this review, and I am glad it was appreciated.
Comment from Erika Seshadri
I absolutely love your style of writing! And so polished and professional. I would have given it six stars, but it wasn't an option in my drop-down menu. ??? Is there a limited number of the highest rating to hand out within a certain period of time? I've only been on this site for a couple of says. Still trying to figure it all out.
Happy writing!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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I absolutely love your style of writing! And so polished and professional. I would have given it six stars, but it wasn't an option in my drop-down menu. ??? Is there a limited number of the highest rating to hand out within a certain period of time? I've only been on this site for a couple of says. Still trying to figure it all out.
Happy writing!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
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Many thanks for this encouraging review. We all get a weekly allowance of six, six star grades an once these have been awarded there are no more till next Sunday.
Not to worry though, what you have said is more important to me than the shiny ones. Thank you and welcome to the site.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Ah, I've been making my way through the previous book and am nearly caught up, but reading this now, I know I must get back to it quickly before all is revealed! You are adept at creating so much drama!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Ah, I've been making my way through the previous book and am nearly caught up, but reading this now, I know I must get back to it quickly before all is revealed! You are adept at creating so much drama!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this six star review and your work on the previous book. I hope it is helping your appreciation of this one.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
A shocker! Flawless narration and meticulous attention to detail--now there are trio of Toms--is there a reason you chose the same name? Dialog flows well and rings true--compelling piece, brilliantly rendered.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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A shocker! Flawless narration and meticulous attention to detail--now there are trio of Toms--is there a reason you chose the same name? Dialog flows well and rings true--compelling piece, brilliantly rendered.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this review. The confusion over Tom's was intentional. It was a very common name at this time and this sort of confusion was quite likely.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, A great continuation to the story, which brings in new layers to what might have happened. You write it so very well, and I can't wait to be reading on. I have my theory, but you still make me wonder whether I'm right. Now onto what is next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Hi Jim, A great continuation to the story, which brings in new layers to what might have happened. You write it so very well, and I can't wait to be reading on. I have my theory, but you still make me wonder whether I'm right. Now onto what is next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this supportive and complimentary review.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Except for some confusion about who was speaking from time to time, I had no trouble following the bits of information as they were revealed ! it was almost like being one of the jurors at the inquest with my mind jumping from one theory to another, as new information was presented.
I think at the time some of the jurors might have had some prejudice because they were beholden to Jericho farms for their living.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Except for some confusion about who was speaking from time to time, I had no trouble following the bits of information as they were revealed ! it was almost like being one of the jurors at the inquest with my mind jumping from one theory to another, as new information was presented.
I think at the time some of the jurors might have had some prejudice because they were beholden to Jericho farms for their living.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this review. When you speak of confusion over who is speaking, do you mean you would like to see more speech tags?
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Dear Jim, as I said, in my review I could follow with out them, and I know that you explained why you were leaving them out. Have your editors ever suggested adding them in critical places?
Comment from roof35
I'm as curious as Charles is about the letters. I guess you will "spill" in the next chapter. Looking forward to it. This is perfectly written. A great chapter in your book.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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I'm as curious as Charles is about the letters. I guess you will "spill" in the next chapter. Looking forward to it. This is perfectly written. A great chapter in your book.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this six-star review. It is greatly appreciated.