Comment from irishauthorme

Excellent

This is a neat, fanciful tale that children would enjoy and relate to. Your good imagery would let the children see the pumpkin rolling, squirming, happy in her journey. The ending reminded me of some of the old Grimms
Fairy Tales, often founded in the Gothic spirit of a bad ending for an adorable hero or heroine.
Good work,
irish

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so very much.....these are fun to wiggle together although a bit undisciplined.....Godspeed to you going forward and Best Wishes......Stu Harrell

Comment from A. Louise Robertson

Exceptional

This is a six star, utterly delightful poem!
I enjoyed reading this, and was able to visually see the pumpkin rolling down the hill and landing on the porch, only to become a pie!
Your language skills at using "po" and "gigglin" and "wigglin" add a charm that is the frosting on the cake of this well written poem.
This is a contest winner for sure.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.....I enjoy these little hodgepodge verses now and then.........Best Wishes to you going forward.......Stu Harrell

Comment from robyn corum

Good

Stuart,

Well, it seemed a little odd to me that she did all that work to be free - just to be eaten in a pie? And I'm not sure how she will be back? Frosty has the excuse of recurring snow - where he can be remade. Once a pumpkin is gone - will the same one ever appear again? Hmmm...

The meter here and line lengths were a bit bumpy. If they were more consistent and perhaps, edited, I do think the piece would read even better and be a bit more appealing. (If you are interested in ideas or suggestions, let me know. But I feel that you have the talent and creativity to manage on your own. --wink-- )Thanks and good luck!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so much....You are right...these are a bit untidy. I really lack discipline.....I bang these together on short notice(surrounded by legal pads) and then sort of throw them into the pipeline. This was a mythical garden tale....could have been a green bean recycling through Grandma's casserole.... I need more focus....as they say....Godspeed to you and yours and good luck going forward......Stu Harrell

reply by robyn corum on 18-Jan-2021

Welcome!

Comment from roof35

Excellent

This is a cute poem and I think kids would like it. I wonder if you meant "fancy" as a name? If so, you may want to make the F a capital letter. I enjoyed reading about this roll down the hill.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so much.....these are fun to jiggle wiggle together and then just launch them....admittedly a bit unkempt.......Godspeed and Best Wishes ......Stu Harrell

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are delightful, descriptive and creative. I enjoyed
the read of the theme of this poem. The poem was uplifting and I
just had a piece of pumpkin pie! The poem flows and connects well.
Great poem!

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so very much.....these are fun to wiggle together here and there......Godspeed to you and yours.....Good luck with your writing going forward.......Stu Harrell

Comment from Simina Flavia

Exceptional

I really enjoyed reading this, and I think the word choices and the flow is perfect for kids, and it sticks in your head. It could be used as a cautionary tale, Sweet Pea ended up as pie because she wandered off maybe too far, too hastily. And I really did read it in a sing-song voice.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thank you so very much.........this was a tiny tale about a mythical pumpkin.........I am an old guy who sometimes likes to bang together silly verses......Godspeed to you and yours and Good luck going forward......Stu Harrell

Comment from Goodadvicechan

Excellent

I like the beginning: "Once was a pumpkin named Sweet Pea
Fattest of the patch was she
Chubby in the tummy, looked really yummy
Until she planned to sneak away and flee." It is funny to choose named Sweet Pea and in fact is chubby.

The poem shows you that it is interesting what a pumpkin can do to you.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thanks so very much......these are fun to cobble together now and then.....mythical pumpkins should be part of folklore along with all the other stuff.....Godspeed to you and yours......Stu Harrell

Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson

Excellent

I love the words to your poem
they captured my attention from the first line to the last
I'm sure this will be a fun read to young children
thank you for sharing
Cookie

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021

Thanks so very much.....these are fun to slapdash together.......Godspeed to you going forward.......Stu Harrell

reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 17-Jan-2021

Your very welcome
Cookie

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

well, sir, you surely have an imagination and a flair for story tellin'.
And in rhyme, to boot. Very good!
I think these contests are a fun challenge. Especially now, since we have to stay at home so much.
Good luck to you and have fun in your writing.
Katharine

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021

Thanks so much and good luck to you going forward..and God Bless Texas....Stu Harrell

reply by pome lover on 17-Jan-2021

:)

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I can see this poem appealing to children with unique language they would warm to. The word pumpkin alone fills me with warmth and passion and you managed to make them sound unique, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2021

Thanks so very much.....these are fun to splash together....stare at.....and then just hit submit and hope for the best ......Godspeed to you and yours going forward......Stu Harrell