Who Was He?
Unknown6 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
this poem is very interesting. I can see the truth of it. We never know who those invisible people are or what their past was.
notes:
Perhaps a person of wealthy needs
are you sure about this line?
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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this poem is very interesting. I can see the truth of it. We never know who those invisible people are or what their past was.
notes:
Perhaps a person of wealthy needs
are you sure about this line?
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thanks for your review. The line you questioned has been changed.
Comment from LJbutterfly
What I liked about your poem is that you gave a homeless man purpose and dignity. You made him grand, wealthy, generous, and a protector of his country. His life was greater than him method of burial. This was a positive poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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What I liked about your poem is that you gave a homeless man purpose and dignity. You made him grand, wealthy, generous, and a protector of his country. His life was greater than him method of burial. This was a positive poem. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you for a very positive review.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Person,
Hmmm... I see where you're going and I like it - but I don't think any epitaph would be written from the first-person pov, you know? The 'I think' leads the reader in a different direction than to consider just what the tombstone might say - then we're suddenly thinking, 'well, who wrote this?' and other questions about the composer INSTEAD of thinking about the dead person.
Also:
Perhaps a person of wealthy needs
Who gave to the people with monetary seeds
--> If you'll permit me to say so - I would like to recommend you consider a small edit to something like:
--> Perhaps a person of wealthy (seeds)
Who gave to the people with monetary (needs)
Does that make sense?
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Dear Mystery Person,
Hmmm... I see where you're going and I like it - but I don't think any epitaph would be written from the first-person pov, you know? The 'I think' leads the reader in a different direction than to consider just what the tombstone might say - then we're suddenly thinking, 'well, who wrote this?' and other questions about the composer INSTEAD of thinking about the dead person.
Also:
Perhaps a person of wealthy needs
Who gave to the people with monetary seeds
--> If you'll permit me to say so - I would like to recommend you consider a small edit to something like:
--> Perhaps a person of wealthy (seeds)
Who gave to the people with monetary (needs)
Does that make sense?
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thanks for your review. I have made a few changes where you indicated.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is an Awesome epitaph. Very well put together. Nice flow and rhyme scheme. Nicely done. Great photo to go with your words. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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This is an Awesome epitaph. Very well put together. Nice flow and rhyme scheme. Nicely done. Great photo to go with your words. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the excellent review
Comment from zanya
Yes an interesting angle on the Epitaph prompt - and with thought-provoking possibilities as to who may lie there - final line effectively stated - thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Yes an interesting angle on the Epitaph prompt - and with thought-provoking possibilities as to who may lie there - final line effectively stated - thanks for sharing
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the excellent review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
A well written epitaph about a stone on an grave marked unknown. Who knows what sad story lies behind this. Very good rhyming and perfect picture for your post.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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A well written epitaph about a stone on an grave marked unknown. Who knows what sad story lies behind this. Very good rhyming and perfect picture for your post.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your excellent review.
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You are welcome
